17 Jan 2018 Nostalgia (I HAVE THE POWER! – He-man and She-ra) and Authenticity in acting

Hello to you.  It’s 7:56 am on this very cold Wednesday morning.  How are you?  I’ve got some stuff on my mind this morning and some of it is positive and some of it may be not so much.  I’ve allowed someone power over me via the vehicle of their craft and I am using this tool here to help me out with it.

The positive is Kyle and I have nearly devoured a wonderful and nostalgic show from Netflix called The Toys That Made Us.  Last night it was Barbie, which was in my wheelhouse for so many years and this morning it was He-man which was more in Kyle’s and after watching it, wish it had been more in mine!  I want to be like She-ra!  Watching this episode was so effective LOL!  I didn’t know that Skeletor (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skeletor) was inspired by one of the creators (Mark Taylor http://www.vaultsofgrayskull.co.uk/taylor.html) actually encountering a real corpse in a fun house (think it was this one: http://www.the13thfloor.tv/2016/03/16/real-corpse-found-in-california-funhouse-the-bizarre-life-death-of-elmer-mccurdy/)

The Toys That Made Us en Netflix

Authenticity – Acting Versus living a part

The not so positive part has to do with seeing a trailer this morning for a show being released that feels like an unintentional mockumentary of my actual life experiences only at a reversed social stratum’s perspective.  I’ve actually lived through substance abuse and the huge debris field it scattered for myself and anyone brave enough to try and help me.  I’ve actually spent time in the mental health system and been housed in it’s “facilities.”  It was not  a comical experience and anyone else who has lived through that would probably say the same thing.   More a horror/shit show than a comedy.  Only someone who has no idea of what that might feel like would want to dabble in it.  Watching the trailer was visceral and made me feel very “dark” and hurt inside.  It probably hurts me because of who is starring in it.  Without meaning to, (he doesn’t know who the fuck I am lol, he’s just working) it feels like he’s mocking a very painful part of my life experience with this show.  From the comments I saw for the trailer, there are plenty of people can’t wait to watch it.  Probably fans, like I’ve been on more than one occasion,  who will watch anything with certain names attached to it just because  whether it’s worth watching or not.

All this said, I will acknowledge that it’s probably safer for actors who haven’t struggled with these issues to play these parts than people who actually have.  Playing a role from a personal hell escaped can lead to very tragic consequences.  Case in point is deceased actor Corey Monteith from a show I once enjoyed called Glee:

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/cory-monteiths-mccanick-movie-review-daring-performance-before-death-201399/

Cory Monteith‘s memory will live on through his intense final performance in McCanick. The 31-year-old late Glee actor, who died from a heroin and alcohol overdose on July 13, stars in the Josh C. Waller-directed film, which premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on Monday, Sept. 9. Monteith has a meaty role in the small, dark, dreary and slow-moving drama.

Monteith plays small-time drug dealer and hustler Simon Weeks, who had a tough-luck childhood and turned to working the streets. Monteith is first seen in a hoodie with stringy hair, talking tough and smoking a cigarette. It is a startling change from those used to seeing him sing and dance as Finn Hudson on Glee.

Simon is being relentlessly targeted by a grizzled, tortured detective, played by David Morse. It is unclear as to why the cop is obsessed with him, though he may possibly have been linked with a congressman’s murder. Confusing flashbacks muddle the story further, and the only way to differentiate between past and present is by looking at the length of Monteith’s hair.

Though Simon is hard-living, Monteith is inspired casting. The sweetness that endeared him to Glee fans still lurks within this character. And he uses it to his advantage during crucial plot twists. As troubled as he is, you are rooting for him to make it out alive. It’s a fine, daring performance.

“He was excited. He was very happy with it, with the work that he had done,” director Josh C. Waller told Us Weekly of the late actor. “He seemed moved, emotionally. He sent me a really beautiful email [when the film wrapped] just stating how much excitement he had and how much pride he had on the work that he had done. Which I’m glad, because I know I thought he did an incredible job. Sometimes, for actors, it’s hard to watch themselves on screen or to acknowledge when they’ve done a good job. He didn’t come right out and say, ‘I did great!’ But he was very proud.”

Monteith’s other movie at the Toronto International Film Festival, All The Wrong Reasons, won the Discovery Award on Monday, Sept. 9. The Gia Milani-directed film also stars Kevin Zegers.

So…..what to say?  I HAVE THE POWER!!  The power is in my case, not to tune in. 

Advertisements

6 Dec 2017 Pete Davidson (SNL) Survivor of 9/11

For the past couple of days I have been trying to soothe Kyle and I with our recent loss by turning to one of the greatest medicines on earth – laughter through comedy.  Yesterday afternoon and this morning we’ve been watching Saturday Night Live skits on You Tube.  In particular we love the videos with Pete Davidson and his portrayal of a character named Chad.  The first time we were introduced to Pete and this character was when one of my favorite actors, Benedict Cumberbatch, was hosting the show.

This is the video where we first met Pete and his hilarious character Chad:

Office Hours – SNL
Published on Feb 21, 2017

A professor’s (Benedict Cumberbatch) chats with a student (Pete Davidson) help him realize something about himself.

Get more SNL: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live
Full Episodes: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-liv…

I was surprised to find this video this morning:

Weekend Update: Pete Davidson on Mental Health – SNL
Published on Oct 7, 2017

Pete Davidson explains how SNL could help ease his depression.

#SNL #SNL43

After watching this, I wasn’t sure if it was entirely fact or just another skit and decided to see if there was any information and found this Rolling Stone article:

http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/snls-pete-davidson-i-have-borderline-personality-disorder-w505489

‘Saturday Night Live’ Star Pete Davidson: I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Comedian explains he originally thought his mental breakdowns were caused by weed

and then I found this US Magazine article.  When I put it all together, this helps me understand why Pete might be having problems with depression!  He lost his Dad, Scott Davidson, a fire fighter to 9/11! Pete’s mental, spiritual and physical reaction to this horrific experience and loss makes perfect sense to me.

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/pete-davidson-dad-died-911-reacts-steve-rannazzisi-lies-2015169/

Celebrity News

Pete Davidson, Who Lost His Dad in Terrorist Attack, Responds to Steve Rannazzisi’s 9/11 Lies

By Rachel McRady
September 16, 2015

Comedian Steve Rannazzisi’s lies hit a little too close to home for Saturday Night Live newbie Pete Davidson. On Wednesday, Sept. 16, after Rannazzisi, 37, released a public statement saying he’d lied about being in the World Trade Center on 9/11, Davidson took to Twitter to give The League star a piece of his mind.

“It’s ok @SteveRannazzisi people make mistakes … Can’t wait to meet my dad for lunch later,” the SNL actor, 21, tweeted.

Davidson’s father, Scott Davidson, was a firefighter who died after rushing to the scene on Sept. 11, 2001.

Rannazzisi missed Davidson’s dark humor, tweeting, “thank you pete. i really appreciate it,” which the SNL star retweeted, writing, “I think you missed the point…” Rannazzisi later deleted his tweet.

Davidson later tweeted, “All kidding aside this @SteveRannazzisi story sucks because he’s actually a funny comic and I love The League. It’s f—ked up.”

Fortunately, Rannazzisi attempted to right his wrong, and Davidson gave an update to his 175,000-plus followers.

“Take it easy on @SteveRannazzisi … He reached out to me and is truly sorry,” he tweeted. “We all sometimes lie and exaggerate a story to seem cooler …Unfortunately this is a very touchy topic n very near n dear 2 peoples hearts.Its years later but he apologized n owned up 2 it like a man.”

This young man is a classic example of what such things do to people, to families, to countries….to an entire world.  It eviscerates our very souls.  Pete is an example of not giving up, asking for help when you need it and trying to give back as you heal yourself.   I think his Dad would be proud of him – he is a survivor!

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml

Borderline Personality Disorder

Overview

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.

Some people with BPD also have high rates of co-occurring mental disorders, such as mood disorders, anxiety disorders, and eating disorders, along with substance abuse, self-harm, suicidal thinking and behaviors, and suicide.

While mental health experts now generally agree that the label “borderline personality disorder” is very misleading, a more accurate term does not exist yet.

Signs and Symptoms

People with borderline personality disorder may experience extreme mood swings and can display uncertainty about who they are. As a result, their interests and values can change rapidly.

Other symptoms include:

  • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  • A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
  • Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
  • Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
  • Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
  • Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
  • Having stress-related paranoid thoughts
  • Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality

Seemingly ordinary events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with borderline personality disorder may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. Studies show that people with this disorder may see anger in an emotionally neutral face and have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.

Some of these signs and symptoms may be experienced by people with other mental health problems—and even by people without mental illness—and do not necessarily mean that they have borderline personality disorder. It is important that a qualified and licensed mental health professional conduct a thorough assessment to determine whether a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder or other mental disorder is warranted, and to help guide treatment options when appropriate.

Tests and Diagnosis

Unfortunately, borderline personality disorder is often underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed. A licensed mental health professional experienced in diagnosing and treating mental disorders—such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or clinical social worker—can diagnose borderline personality disorder based on a thorough interview and a comprehensive medical exam, which can help rule out other possible causes of symptoms.

The licensed mental health professional may ask about symptoms and personal and family medical histories, including any history of mental illnesses. This information can help the mental health professional decide on the best treatment. In some cases, co-occurring mental illnesses may have symptoms that overlap with borderline personality disorder, making it difficult to distinguish borderline personality disorder from other mental illnesses. For example, a person may describe feelings of depression but may not bring other symptoms to the mental health professional’s attention.

Research funded by NIMH is underway to look for ways to improve diagnosis of and treatments for borderline personality disorder, and to understand the various components of borderline personality disorder and other personality disorders such as impulsivity, relationship problems, and emotional instability.

Risk Factors

The causes of BPD are not yet clear, but research suggests that genetic, brain, environmental and social factors are likely to be involved.

  • Genetics. BPD is about five times more likely to occur if a person has a close family member (first-degree biological relatives) with the disorder.
  • Environmental and Social Factors. Many people with BPD report experiencing traumatic life events, such as abuse or abandonment during childhood. Others may have been exposed to unstable relationships and hostile conflicts. However, some people with BPD do not have a history of trauma. And, many people with a history of traumatic life events do not have BPD.
  • Brain Factors. Studies show that people with BPD have structural and functional changes in the brain, especially in the areas that control impulses and emotional regulation. However, some people with similar changes in the brain do not have BPD. More research is needed to understand the relationship between brain structure and function and BPD.

Research on BPD is focused on examining biological and environmental risk factors, with special attention on whether early symptoms may emerge at a younger age than previously thought. Scientists are also studying ways to identify the disorder earlier in adolescents.

Treatments and Therapies

BPD has historically been viewed as difficult to treat. However, with newer and proper treatment, many people with BPD experience fewer or less severe symptoms and an improved quality of life. Many factors affect the length of time it takes for symptoms to improve once treatment begins, so it is important for people with BPD and their loved ones to be patient and to receive appropriate support during treatment. People with BPD can recover.

If you think you have BPD, it is important to seek treatment.

NIMH-funded studies indicate that BPD patients who never recovered may be more likely to develop other chronic medical conditions and are less likely to make healthy lifestyle choices. BPD is also associated with a high rate of self-harm and suicidal behavior.

If you are thinking about harming yourself or attempting suicide, tell someone who can help right away. Call your licensed mental health professional if you are already working with one. If you are not already working with a licensed mental health professional, call your personal physician or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

If a loved one is considering suicide, do not leave him or her alone. Try to get your loved one to seek immediate help from his or her doctor or the nearest hospital emergency room, or call 911. Remove any access he or she may have to firearms or other potential tools for suicide, including medications, sharp edges such as knives, ropes, or belts.

If you or a loved one are in crisis: Call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential.

The treatments described below are just some of the options that may be available to a person with BPD. However, the research on treatments is still in very early stages. More research is needed to determine the effectiveness of these treatments, who may benefit the most, and how best to deliver treatments.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy (or “talk therapy”) is the main treatment for people with BPD. Current research suggests psychotherapy can relieve some symptoms, but further studies are needed to better understand how well psychotherapy works.

Psychotherapy can be provided one-on-one between the therapist and the patient or in a group setting. Therapist-led group sessions may help teach people with BPD how to interact with others and how to express themselves effectively. It is important that people in therapy get along with and trust their therapist. The very nature of BPD can make it difficult for people with this disorder to maintain a comfortable and trusting bond with their therapist.

Types of psychotherapy used to treat BPD include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can help people with BPD identify and change core beliefs and/or behaviors that underlie inaccurate perceptions of themselves and others and problems interacting with others. CBT may help reduce a range of mood and anxiety symptoms and reduce the number of suicidal or self-harming behaviors.
  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): This type of therapy utilizes the concept of mindfulness, or being aware of and attentive to the current situation and moods. DBT also teaches skills to control intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships. DBT differs from CBT in that it integrates traditional CBT elements with mindfulness, acceptance, and techniques to improve a person’s ability to tolerate stress and control his or her emotions. DBT recognizes the dialectical tension between the need for acceptance and the need for change.
  • Schema-Focused Therapy: This type of therapy combines elements of CBT with other forms of psychotherapy that focus on reframing schemas, or the ways people view themselves. This approach is based on the idea that BPD stems from a dysfunctional self-image—possibly brought on by negative childhood experiences—that affects how people react to their environment, interact with others, and cope with problems or stress.
  • Systems Training for Emotional Predictability and Problem Solving (STEPPS) is a type of group therapy that aims to educate family members, significant others, and health care professionals about BPD and gives them guidance on how to interact consistently with the person with the disorder using the STEPPS approach and terminology. STEPPS is designed to supplement other treatments the patient may be receiving, such as medication or individual psychotherapy.

Families of people with BPD may also benefit from therapy. The challenges of dealing with a loved one with BPD on a daily basis can be very stressful, and family members may unknowingly act in ways that worsen their relative’s symptoms. Some therapies include family members in treatment sessions. These types of programs help families develop skills to better understand and support a relative with BPD. Other therapies focus on the needs of family members and help them understand the obstacles and strategies for caring for a loved one with BPD. Although more research is needed to determine the effectiveness of family therapy in BPD, studies on other mental disorders suggest that including family members can help in a person’s treatment.

Other types of psychotherapy may be helpful for some people with BPD. Therapists often adapt psychotherapy to better meet a person’s needs. Therapists may also switch from one type of psychotherapy to another, mix techniques from different therapies, or use a combination of psychotherapies. For more information, please see the NIMH webpage on Psychotherapies.

Medications

Medications should not be used as the primary treatment for BPD as the benefits are unclear. However, in some cases, a mental health professional may recommend medications to treat specific symptoms, such as mood swings, depression, or other disorders that may occur with BPD. Treatment with medications may require care from more than one medical professional.

Because of the high risk of suicide among people with BPD, health care providers should exercise caution when prescribing medications that may be lethal in the event of an overdose.

Certain medications can cause different side effects in different people. Talk to your doctor about what to expect from a particular medication.

Other Treatments

Some people with BPD experience severe symptoms and require intensive, often inpatient, care. Others may use some outpatient treatments but never need hospitalization or emergency care. Although in rare cases, some people who develop this disorder may improve without any treatment, most people benefit from and improve their quality of life by seeking treatment.

Finding Help

More information about finding a health care provider or treatment for mental disorders in general is available on our Finding Help for Mental Illness webpage. You may also find additional information through the NIMH Outreach Partners or the NIMH National Partners.

How can I help a friend or relative who has BPD?

If you know someone who has BPD, it affects you too. The first and most important thing you can do is help your friend or relative get the right diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make an appointment and go with your friend or relative to see the doctor. Encourage him or her to stay in treatment or to seek different treatment if symptoms do not appear to improve with the current treatment.

To help a friend or relative you can:

  • Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement—change can be difficult and frightening to people with BPD, but it is possible for them to get better over time.
  • Learn about mental disorders, including BPD, so you can understand what your friend or relative is experiencing.
  • With written permission from your friend or loved one, talk with his or her therapist to learn about therapies that may involve family members. Alternatively, you can encourage your loved one who is in treatment for BPD to ask about family therapy.
  • Seek counseling from your own therapist about helping a loved one with BPD. It should not be the same therapist that your loved one with BPD is seeing.

Never ignore comments about someone’s intent or plan to harm himself or herself or someone else. Report such comments to the person’s therapist or doctor. In urgent or potentially life-threatening situations, you may need to call the police or dial 911.

How can I help myself if I have BPD?

Although it may take some time, you can get better with treatment. To help yourself:

  • Talk to your doctor about treatment options and stick with treatment.
  • Try to maintain a stable schedule of meals and sleep times.
  • Engage in mild activity or exercise to help reduce stress.
  • Set realistic goals for yourself.
  • Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can, as you can.
  • Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or family member.
  • Tell others about events or situations that may trigger symptoms.
  • Expect your symptoms to improve gradually over time, not immediately. Be patient.
  • Identify and seek out comforting situations, places, and people.
  • Continue to educate yourself about this disorder.
  • Don’t drink alcohol or use illicit drugs – they will likely make things worse

Clinical Trials

What are Clinical Trials?

Clinical trials are research studies that look at new ways to prevent, detect, or treat diseases and conditions, including BPD. During clinical trials, treatments might be new drugs or new combinations of drugs, new surgical procedures or devices, or new ways to use existing treatments. The goal of clinical trials is to determine if a new test or treatment works and is safe. Although individual participants may benefit from being part of a clinical trial, participants should be aware that the primary purpose of a clinical trial is to gain new scientific knowledge so that others may be better helped in the future.

Research on BPD treatment is focused on the development and evaluation of psychotherapy and pharmacological interventions to prevent self-harming and suicidal behaviors, which occur at a higher rate among people with BPD.

Please note: Decisions about whether to participate in a clinical trial and which trial may be best suited for you should be made in collaboration with your licensed health professional.

How do I find Clinical Trials at NIMH/NIH on Borderline Personality Disorder?

Scientists at the NIH campus conduct research on numerous areas of study, including cognition, genetics, epidemiology, and psychiatry. The studies take place at the NIH Clinical Center in Bethesda, Maryland and require regular visits. After the initial phone interview, you will come to an appointment at the clinic and meet with one of our clinicians. Find NIH-funded studies currently recruiting participants with BPD by using ClinicalTrials.gov (search: BPD). NIH also supports clinical trials nationwide and in other countries.

How Do I Find a Clinical Trial Near Me?

To search for a clinical trial near you, you can visit ClinicalTrials.gov. This is a searchable registry and results database of federally and privately supported clinical trials conducted in the United States and around the world. ClinicalTrials.gov gives you information about a trial’s purpose, who may participate, locations, and phone numbers for more details. This information should be used in conjunction with advice from health professionals.

Learn More

Federal Resources

Related NIMH Booklets and Brochures

  • Eating Disorders: About More Than Food: A brochure about the common eating disorders anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder, and various approaches to treatment.
  • Depression: What You Need to Know: This booklet contains information on depression including signs and symptoms, treatment and support options, and a listing of additional resources.

Last Revised: August 2016

Unless otherwise specified, NIMH information and publications are in the public domain and available for use free of charge. Citation of the NIMH is appreciated. Please see our Citing NIMH Information and Publications page for more information.

 

3 Dec 2017 Our Sacred House (drawing), Trevince House (My Beautiful Things) and A Prayer When I Feel Lonely (Rachel Wojo)

Hello to you.  How are you?  It’s Sunday morning here and I am slowly waking up.  It’s one of those mornings where it was warmer in bed but my lower back was starting to hurt and I couldn’t go back to sleep so I knew it was time to get up!  My goal today is to continue working on writing up notes in Christmas cards so I can more of them in the mail tomorrow.   I was going to do a Christmas letter and decided against it.  Kyle was joking that I should write “Have a nice summer” in the cards.   I told him that wasn’t very  nice LOL!  Remember the school yearbooks?  Getting that written in your book was kind of like them saying, “I don’t know who you are but hey, have a nice summer!”    I won’t be writing that in my notes to people lol!

So I was looking at posts of folks I follow here on WordPress and got a nice synchronicity sort of thing.  My friend Sally from My Beautiful Things had shared some pictures from their visit to Trevince House and in looking at the second picture she shared, I realized it looked a lot like a drawing I did yesterday afternoon!

2 Dec 2017 240 pm Jackie Wygant outdoor chalk drawing our sacred house Alvarado TX

When I drew this all sorts of thoughts were going through my head!  The title I came up with, “Our Sacred House” coincides very well with Sally’s picture I think!

My Beautiful Things

Paddling, Trevince House and Canapés 

Photo #2 From My Beautiful Things blog post about Sally’s visiting Trevince House. (Trevince sits proudly atop a hill overlooking St Wennappa’s Church in the parish of Gwennap, Cornwall)

I was curious about where she was talking about and found the official web site for Trevince House:

http://www.trevince.co.uk/
Trevince sits proudly atop a hill overlooking St Wennappa’s Church in the parish of Gwennap, Cornwall. With roots in the 13th century, Trevince has experienced many architectural changes, from a lost medieval house, to a modest Elizabethan country farmhouse, to a grand redevelopment by the famed Cornish architect Piers St. Aubyn in 1865.

Set in two hundred and seventy acres of farm and woodland, Trevince is adjacent to the renowned ‘richest square mile in the world’, a term coined in the nineteenth century when the area was rich in copper. The importance of Trevince as part of the social history of copper mining led to it being included in the World Heritage Site.

With its granite ashlar and pink killas stone, and classical portico entrance, Trevince has a beauty of its own. It has been in the same family since before 1281, and had never been open to the public until it hosted its first event at Christmas 2016; A COUNTRY HOUSE CHRISTMAS was a unique retail event and pop-up café to which thousands of shoppers eager for a new experience visited during the double-week end event.

The Trevince Team has now announced the dates for the 2017 event. So please join us on 24, 25, 26 November and 1, 2, 3 December for an exquisite Christmas shopping experience. Keep an eye on our news pages for more information.


I hope this finds you well and if not, I hope you know you are not alone in this world.  No one is ever truly alone.  It may seem like it sometimes but just because there isn’t another person around, that doesn’t mean no one is there.   The holiday season isn’t always so jolly for many people.   I was looking for a message to share to help anyone who might need help with this feeling of being alone today and found Rachel Wojo’s message.   I would ask you to get beyond this being a prayer, the words Father and Jesus, if Christianity offends you.  Try to read this prayer with your heart and not with your head.

http://rachelwojo.com/a-prayer-when-i-feel-lonely/

A Prayer When I Feel Lonely

Yesterday on the Facebook page, we took prayer requests. One of our precious readers, Joeann, lost her husband two years ago and she is feeling so lonely.  There have been times in my life when I felt deep feelings of loneliness and my heart aches for Joeann. I was thinking about her during my run today. We’re all praying for you, Joeann! May this prayer provide comfort to her and to you.

A Prayer When I Feel Lonely

Thank you for listening to my heart;

Your patience with me is to be praised.

Today I had that feeling again-

The one where I feel so alone.

It seems that no one understands…

Even my family and friends don’t “get” me at times.

Though I can be in a room full of people,

I feel lonely…

And I feel alone.

I know You said You would never leave me.

 Your Word promises this and it’s true.

These feelings are but signs of my human form.

Would You reveal Yourself to me

In a way far beyond my imagination?

Thank you for the peace beyond my comprehension

That can only be provided by You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

when you feel lonely

Be blessed!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7&version=NIVthis Chapter is resonate with my thoughts this morning and for most of this year.  We will never heal as a nation or as a world if we continue to take joy in others sufferings.  

Matthew 7New International Version (NIV)

Judging Others

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Ask, Seek, Knock

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

The Narrow and Wide Gates

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

True and False Prophets

15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

True and False Disciples

21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

The Wise and Foolish Builders

24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

28 When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, 29 because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

19 Nov 2017 Drawings and In Shadow (Lubomir Arsov animated film, Flowart station)

Hello to you.  Just a quick post.  Sharing a couple of drawings and a link for a short film Flowart Station (here on WordPress) also shared called In Shadow.  They had it on You tube also, so sharing it from there.  It’s not an easy film to watch but sometimes we can gain insight from watching such things.  My husband and I really like the animated film genre, so this resonated with us on many levels.  If you aren’t into animated films, this might be the introduction you need to explore the genre.

– Link to Flowart Station Magazine post to view it on Vimeo:

IN-SHADOW – This impressive short film is a violent criticism against capitalism

Published on Nov 13, 2017

Embark on a visionary journey through the fragmented unconscious of the west, and with courage face the Shadow. From Shadow into Light.

“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”
-C.G. Jung

Written, Directed & Produced by Lubomir Arsov
Original Soundtrack “Age of Wake” by Starward Projections
Composited by Sheldon Lisoy
Additional Compositing by Hiram Gifford
Art Directed & Edited by Lubomir Arsov
___

Gallery quality ART PRINTS available here: https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/inshadow/

Film Website: https://www.inshadow.net/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/inshadowmovie/
Music Composers: https://www.starwardprojections.com/
Contact: light@inshadow.net

© Lubomir Arsov 2017

IN-SHADOW – This impressive short film is a violent criticism against capitalism

11 Oct 2017 Today’s Youth are Depressed, Here’s Why (Thoughty2, You tube), THIS is Why The Sumerians are NOT Taught in School – Sumerian Tablets – Lost Ancient Civilization (Bright Insight, You tube) and Evening Star (Poem by Edgar Allen Poe)

Hello to you.  It’s 9:28 pm on this Wednesday evening.  How are you?  I’m doing better after Kyle and I were able to talk with our neighbor about the fence, dog and poop situation this evening.  Sounds like chicken wire will be the solution until we can all afford to replace the fence entirely.  Works for me!  It made me feel better to be able to apologize for the outburst this morning and get things sorted out.  All he heard was yelling and wasn’t sure what was going on.  It had been bugging me all day!  I don’t like being mad at people or having unresolved conflict with people.

So this evening Kyle and I were able to squeeze in part of another episode of the Living and Dead BBC One program…make it last as long as we can lol.  We also did our You tube channels scan for stuff to watch and came across this very insightful video from the Thoughty2 channel about why the youth of today are having so much trouble with depression.  It ties in nicely to the links I shared on my previous post today about Smartphones and their effect on young people’s mental health/self esteem and suicide related issues.   This video addresses a lot of things people may have not considered when making harsh judgements about young people of the past couple of generations.

Today’s Youth Are Depressed, Here’s Why…

Thoughty2

Moby & The Void Pacific Choir – Are You Lost In The World Like Me? (Official Video) – this little film sums it all up so well….so sad but true.

This is a video I saw yesterday that was very interesting to me too.  It inspired the chalk drawing I did of the Sumerian and the Reaper.  I have found the story of the Sumerians quite fascinating and kind of crossed paths with some of their history, specifically their language of the cuneiform, when I was trying to get some closure on the character Vanessa Ives from the show Penny Dreadful: https://saymber.com/2016/09/20/20-sept-2016-vanessa-ives-of-penny-dreadful-and-lilith-cuneiform-sumerian-language-finding-mementos-of-your-past-revisiting-harsh-lessons-of-farm-life-and-death-as-a-city-girl/

THIS is Why The Sumerians are NOT Taught in School – Sumerian Tablets – Lost Ancient Civilization

Bright Insight

Published on Oct 5, 2017

How is it possible that the Sumerian’s ONLY get 1-3 Sentences in the Textbooks? The world’s FIRST human civilization that dates back 6,000 years, that created our modern system of time, the calendar, writing, agriculture, and everything else is not required learning in school. This video outlines what the Sumerian tablets/records.

Here to close…this beautiful poem by Edgar Allen Poe that I have never read before:

https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/evening-star/

Evening Star – Poem by Edgar Allan Poe

‘Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro’ the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
‘Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.
I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-
There pass’d, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud,
And I turned away to thee,
Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.

Sending hugs, love, hope and all the good I can muster through the wires to you…..please do pass it along 🙂 

5 Oct 2017 What Constant Exposure To Negative News Is Doing To Our Mental Health (Huffington Post, Carolyn Gregoire)

Hello to you.  It’s 4:19 pm on this Thursday afternoon as I write to you.  I have spent the day trying to work through some of my anger and frustration that I expressed in my earlier post today and the past couple of days.  I am not liking the person I have been the past few days and I know why.  My sleep has been poor because of Kyle’s work schedule  and I have been inundating myself with negative news!  Not a good combination!

This is a poem I wrote today as part of my therapy, not one of my best, but it describes what it’s like to “tune out” when someone is going all negative at you:

Tuning out – Jackie Wygant 5 Oct 2017 /1:36 pm

I tune out

I’m sick of caring

What the latest fuss is all about

You are talking

Your lips move in slow motion

My thoughts are already walking

It doesn’t matter what I say

I just want you and your troubles

To just go away…..

I feel like I should apologize to those of you who regularly visit me and have been subjected to the torrent of negativity I’ve been expressing here, but I think, I sincerely hope, you understand what I’m working through.  This blog, from it’s inception, has been an outlet for me….a tool in my sanity toolkit.  Lately I have had to work extra special hard at keeping my lid on top!

What’s happening is my trying to be a responsible and informed citizen about what is going on around me has become quite toxic and addictive.  Yes, you can become addicted and actually start to rewire one’s brain after repeated exposure to negative news. This article from the Huffington Post is a couple of years old, but the information still is relevant.  I thought it might be helpful to share so if anyone else is going through what I have been, they can learn about what’s going on in their head!

What do you do to rid yourself of anxiety, stress, anger and frustration?  What are your coping mechanisms?  I’d be curious to know!

19 Sept 2017 – first drawing of the day. This is my husband Kyle trying to keep me from getting sucked into the negative goop of mainstream media!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/19/violent-media-anxiety_n_6671732.html

SCIENCE

02/19/2015 08:49 am ET Updated Feb 19, 2015

What Constant Exposure To Negative News Is Doing To Our Mental Health

The world isn’t falling apart, but it can sure feel like it. The news can be violent, depressing and emotionally-charged.

“Terrorism is newsworthy because it is inherently dramatic and threatening,” political scientist Shana Gadarian wrote in The Washington Post in October. “Media competition means that journalists and editors have incentives to use emotionally powerful visuals and story lines to gain and maintain ever-shrinking news audiences.”

This may be driven partly by our natural negativity bias, which leads us to pay more attention to things that are dangerous or threatening.

According to some psychologists, exposure to negative and violent media may have serious and long-lasting psychological effects beyond simple feelings of pessimism or disapproval. The work of British psychologist Dr. Graham Davey, who specializes in the psychological effects of media violence, suggests that violent media exposure can exacerbate or contribute to the development of stress, anxiety, depression and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“Negative news can significantly change an individual’s mood — especially if there is a tendency in the news broadcasts to emphasize suffering and also the emotional components of the story,” Davey told The Huffington Post. “In particular… negative news can affect your own personal worries. Viewing negative news means that you’re likely to see your own personal worries as more threatening and severe, and when you do start worrying about them, you’re more likely to find your worry difficult to control and more distressing than it would normally be.”

According to Davey, the way that negative news affects your mood can also have a larger affect on how you interpret and interact with the world around you. If it makes you more anxious or sad for instance, then you may subconsciously become more attuned to negative or threatening events, and you may be more likely to see ambiguous or neutral events as negative ones.

On a neurological level, when we’re confronted with images of violence, we know that images or videos depicting violence are categorically different from actual violence — so we don’t process the input as threatening stimuli. However, we internalize the negative stimuli, which can affect mood and cause one to feel more negatively towards the environment more broadly.

“These images change our overall mood to a more negative one — more sad or more anxious — and it is this change in mood that leads to psychological changes in the way we attend to things around us (e.g. we are more likely to pick out things in our environment that are potentially negative or threatening),” Davey explains. “This can have a vicious cycle effect on mood generally for some time.”

Some research has even suggested that viewing traumatic images in the media can cause PTSD-like symptoms. A 2001 study found that watching the events of 9/11 on television was enough to trigger PTSD symptoms — such as worrying about future terrorist attacks and reduced self-confidence — in some viewers. Severity of symptoms, interestingly, was directly correlated with the amount of time the subjects spent watching television.

A recent study also found that being frequently exposed to graphic, uncensored images of violence is emotionally distressing to many journalists working in newsroom settings. The journalists who were regularly exposed to violent video footage scored higher on indexes of PTSD — including re-experiencing, avoidance and general anxiety — as well as increased alcohol consumption, depression, and somatization (physical signs of distress in the body).

The researchers noted that over time, exposure to graphic violence can cause a process of either sensitization, in which the individuals becomes more sensitive to emotional distress upon viewing the images, or desensitization — a sort of numbing process in which individuals become habituated to what they see — to occur. This numbing effect, which causes the brain to exhibit less of an emotional response to disturbing stimuli, has been observed in those who have been repeatedly exposed to violent video games.

The diagnostic criteria for PTSD — which was appended for the DSM-5 to recognize that not only experiencing something traumatic oneself but also witness a life-threatening trauma to another could lead to symptoms of the disorder — acknowledges this to some degree. Davey notes, however, that the DSM description does say that these events should be witnessed in person.

Of course, it’s important to note that exposure to negative news is unlikely to cause depression, anxiety or PTSD in individuals who are not already prone to these conditions. But it can still lead to a pessimism and world-weariness that leads us to perceive the state of the world in an overly negative light — leading us to ignore and overshadow the many things that are working.

What’s clear from this research is that more positive news is needed to outweigh the violence and destruction we’re exposed to every day. As psychologist Steven Pinker and international studies professor Andrew Mack write in Slate, the world is not going to hell in a handbasket, despite what the headlines suggest. Violence has actually decreased, and quality of life has improved for millions of people. Journalism should reflect these truths.

As Positive News founder Sean Dagan Wood said in a recent TED talk, “A more positive form of journalism will not only benefit our well-being; it will engage us in society, and it will help catalyze potential solutions to the problems that we face.”

 

 

20 Sept 2017 Ants in our pants (Diatomaceous earth for pest control) and Hope in Front of Me (Danny Gokey)

Hello to you.  It’s 6:40 pm on this Wednesday evening.  We had a rough start to our morning – another fire ant siege in the house.  They were in our laundry basket!  After talking to a neighbor who also had a garden tub, which is where we used to keep our laundry basket (not keeping it there anymore!) they had the same thing happen to them when it gets dry like it is here lately.  They go for the water sources they can get to.  We are trying some Diatomaceous earth around the perimeter of the house to see if we can’t get them to move.  For those who have dealt with ants, you know that’s all you are doing with anything you do to them!  This is what we bought:  http://www.homedepot.com/p/Safer-Brand-4-lb-Diatomaceous-Earth-Bed-Bug-Flea-Ant-Crawling-Insect-Killer-51703/206857782.  Since we have two dogs, we decided to try it in lieu of the more toxic sprays and other traditional ant killers on the market.

Funny meme I found on the internet this morning about our predicament lol.

http://npic.orst.edu/factsheets/degen.html – if you are interested to learn more, please use this link.  Lots of good info.

What is diatomaceous earth?

Diatomaceous earth is made from the fossilized remains of tiny, aquatic organisms called diatoms. Their skeletons are made of a natural substance called silica. Over a long period of time, diatoms accumulated in the sediment of rivers, streams, lakes, and oceans. Today, silica deposits are mined from these areas.

photo credit: Wipeter

Silica is very common in nature and makes up 26% of the earth’s crust by weight. Various forms of silica include sand, emerald, quartz, feldspar, mica, clay, asbestos, and glass. Silicon, a component of silica, does not exist naturally in its pure form. It usually reacts with oxygen and water to form silicon dioxide. Silicon dioxide has two naturally occurring forms: crystalline and amorphous. Most diatomaceous earth is made of amorphous silicon dioxide. However, it can contain very low levels of crystalline silicon dioxide. The first pesticide products containing silicon dioxide (diatomaceous earth) were registered in 1960 to kill insects and mites.

What are some products that contain diatomaceous earth?

Products containing diatomaceous earth are most commonly dusts. Other formulations include wettable powders and pressurized liquids. Currently, there are over 150 products registered for use inside and outside of buildings, farms, gardens, and pet kennels. Some products can also be used directly on dogs and cats. Diatomaceous earth products are registered for use against bed bugs, cockroaches, crickets, fleas, ticks, spiders, and many other pests.

There are thousands of non-pesticide products that contain diatomaceous earth. These include skin care products, toothpastes, foods, beverages, medicines, rubbers, paints, and water filters. The Food & Drug Administration lists diatomaceous earth as “Generally Recognized as Safe”. “Food grade” diatomaceous earth products are purified. They may be used as anticaking materials in feed, or as clarifiers for wine and beer.

—————————————-

Today’s news, like most days, was full of heartbreak all over the world and both Kyle and I have just been feeling so beat down by it all.  It’s in these times you truly feel powerless and can lose hope.  You feel it especially if you are the types of people, like Kyle and I,  that care about everybody but can’t really be of much help to  anybody…..just a lot of prayers to give but not much else!  Well I was looking for inspirational videos and music and found Danny Gokey’s message of Hope.  I hope something in his message resonates with you today.  Even if it seems like nobody cares…..a lot of people you’ve never met are praying for you right now.

Hope in Front of Me

I’ve been running through rain
That I thought would never end
Trying to make it on faith
In a struggle against the wind
I’ve seen the dark and the broken places
But I know in my soul
No matter how bad it gets
I’ll be alright

There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me

There’s a place at the end of the storm
You finally find
Where the hurt and the tears and the pain
All fall behind

You open up your eyes and up ahead
There’s a big sun shining
Right then and there you realize
You’ll be alright

There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me

There’s a hope still burning
I can feel it rising through the night
And my world’s still turning
I can feel your love here by my side

You’re my hope
You’re the light, I still see it
Your hands are holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I’ve got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope

Songwriters: BRETT JAMES, DANNY GOKEY, BERNIE HERMS
© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC
For non-commercial use only.
Data from: LyricFind

7 Aug 2017 Dream and the act of “Adulting” (Abandoning Adulthood My Official Letter of Resignation piece by Maureen)

4 Aug 2017 – we are so grateful for Spot. She is an active dog and because of that she helps keep us more active. She’s our family athletics coordinator! 🙂

Good morning, it’s 8:16 am as I start to write.  We had a storm come through last night and by the looks of things, we got a bit of rain.  Very grateful for that and grateful that the severe thunderstorm warning we got before bed ended up only being a warning!  It’s so funny with thunder.  I was almost asleep and then it was like, “We now interrupt your sleep for these 30 seconds of thunder.”  (Kyle’s words there). Sleep all through the night remains elusive for both Kyle and I.

I had some interesting dreams last night, I remember snippets of them.  I dreamt about being with some old men and one of them telling/saying to me, “Do you want me to tell you how old you are?” I said something like, “3,000” and the man said, “try 5,000.” Other dreams were of being in an old parlor or Victorian type of settings.  I remember men sitting on the deck of a ship.  My mind must be sorting through a bunch of stuff I’ve been looking at in my waking world like the Victorian Trading Company catalog, the Aspern Papers film set posts from Jonathan Rhys Meyers and other stuff.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers To Star In ‘The Aspern Papers’

I don’t believe the person I am is that old but what do we know of our souls?  The energy our flesh encapsulates?  The flesh is just a suite, a covering for the soul.  The soul can be as old as time itself because there is no such thing as time in the unseen realms….for any other beings but humans is there such a thing as time!  The dream realm in me obviously knows that.

Another conscious Key that may have unlocked last nights travels could have been this awesome post, Abandoning Adulthood, from my friend Ally.  I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately!

Source: Internet/aka friend FB post: Abandoning Adulthood by Maureen

She was looking for something about adulthood, and found it.  Ironically, just yesterday morning Kyle and I were trying to figure out why we were so crabby and irritable and realized it was because we were having to be adults or what we call “Adulting.” We had made an appointment for Link to have his back left leg looked at and didn’t want to take him even though it was the right thing to do.  We had barely dropped him off and were getting groceries when the vet called to come back for him! Yay!  We dodged the almost $200 x-ray expense that is conveniently not covered under the Wellness plan we have both the dogs on….sigh.  What the hell is insurance of any kind really good for?!  It never covers what you need it to even though you are paying enough for it to cover everything!  Anyhew…we didn’t get away without spending money on an anti-inflammatory and in a couple of weeks we’ll see what’s going on oh yeah, he’s “obese”….sounds like he’s a little old man not a dog right?!

6 Aug 2017 – Link relaxing before Vet visit. He doesn’t look obese to us but apparently he is.

On the way to the grocery store after we initially dropped him off, we were in the car bitching about EVERYTHING!  I realized we were doing the thing we try very hard to avoid doing and that’s focusing on what’s wrong and not what we want to be going on instead.  While President Trump it seems like  like he’d rather be golfing instead of dealing with world issues and appears to be throwing away every opportunity put in front of him to make the world a better place,  it’s not entirely his fault America is the mess it seems to be.  A secret part of me thinks, is hoping, his being President and what he’s been doing is just some sort of epic reverse psychology experiment!  I wouldn’t want to be President or any form of government official these days!  It’s so easy to solve the worlds problems from the seat of our cars, kitchen tables, video game chat and social media forums but quite another to actually be the ones who have to sort it all out!  Anyways, Kyle and I finally talked ourselves to where the source of the anger was and it came back to us.  We decided we would rather be doing anything else but what we had to do….goofing off!  This process we went through is something I learned to do in AA with the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) and doing a self examination before blaming others through the day and just before bed for things when your angry or upset….making amends.

Anyhew…..it’s Monday again….time to get on with it.  I hope that wherever and whenever this finds you, you have everything you need inside and out to be fulfilled.  I hope you know that even if it seems like nobody cares about you, there are people all over the world, myself included, that say a prayer of love and thanksgiving for you every day.    

 

26 May 2017 Last Flight of the One-Winged Brown Moth and Cycles and Connections of Life (Drawings)

Good morning.  It’s 8:21 am as I write to you about the last flight of a large brown moth I met this morning that came to me with a broken wing and was prepared to go through the garden gate….to die….to rest.  They, I say they because I can’t tell the difference between male and female moths.  They came to me after I had been listening to some music, one of the songs, Midnight by Coldplay and the other by Enigma, The Silence Must Be Heard.  It was during the Enigma song that the Moth appeared.  I shut off the music and let them come to me.  They seemed to want to climb up my pants leg because they could no longer fly.  So I got a dry leaf and assisted the poor thing up.  Once in my lap, I sang On Eagles Wings and The Wind Beneath My Wings to it and it calmed down enough for me to transport it to the small side garden that is safe from most predators that would disturb it’s rest.  I laid it in the leaves and let the poor thing be.  It’s exhausting existing and flying with one wing!  When I checked later, I couldn’t find them….were they truly dead or just resting?  How little we know and understand about so many life forms we share this planet….this Universe with.   Perhaps if we just calm down and put our ego’s away we can do better.

It’s truly o.k to not know everything, to not be the smartest, the fittest, the brightest, the prettiest the “est” of anything.  Just Be You!  We all have a part, a place, a reason and purpose it just takes varying lengths of time to find a good fit!

Without You (Glee Cast Version)

I can’t win, I can’t reign I will never win this game
Without you, without you I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same without you, without you

I won’t run, I won’t fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can’t rest, I can’t fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh! You! You! You!
Without, you! You! You! Without you

I can’t erase, so I’ll take blame
But I can’t accept that we’re estranged
Without you, without you
I can’t quit now, this can’t be right
I can’t take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won’t soar, I won’t climb
If you’re not here, I’m paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can’t look, I’m so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh! You! You! You!
Without, you! You! You! Without you

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you, without you

Songwriters: DAVID GUETTA, FREDERIC JEAN RIESTERER, RICHARD PRESTON JR BUTLER, TAIO CRUZ, USHER RAYMOND, GIORGIO TUINFORT
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, SHAPIRO BERNSTEIN & CO. INC.

 

 

20 May 2017 19 and 20th Streams in the Desert Messages and My Pink spirit book messages

Good morning to you.  It’s Saturday at 8:54 am as I write to you.  We got some much needed rain over the night and I’m very grateful for that.  The boxes holding supplies for our siding job got soaked but they assured us that should be a problem.  They asked if they could start the project today and we were fine with that – the sooner they start, the sooner they finish!  We are excited!  Last night, after they called, Kyle and I put tarp around the rose bushes next to the house and pulled them from the house….hopefully that will work as I don’t want to lose the rose bushes!  I’m quite fond of them!  We shall see.

Last night, in addition to enjoying letters from the synchronized letters we got in the mail from my Mom and our mutual friend Les, I started reading the Gateway to the Heavens Book by Karen L. French.  Next up is Sacred Geometry – my favorite!  I love the symbolism that comes in forms.  It has been the exploring of this subject that has been partially responsible for the path my spiritual journey has taken me these past couple of years:

 

20 May 2017 Gateway to the Heavens page 22 – Sacred Geometry Karen L. French book Alvarado TX

Yesterday, when I bought this book at Half Price Books, I walked from the movie theatre parking lot to get there and back.  About half-way to Half Price, a thought came to me that I felt I had to write down in my Pink spirit book.  I was thinking about how it for me to interact with the world sometimes and what I see of how others interact with it.  It’s a lot like the Matrix when Morpheus takes Neo into the Matrix and that is the context of the message I wrote down:

Source Internet – Lady in the Red Dress distracting Neo in the Matrix: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheMatrix “Have you ever had a dream Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?” — Morpheus

 

 

My Pink Spirit book

4 May 2017

“Aaaah” is the sound the mouth makes to speak, to sing, to our heart.  when you make that sound it is a direct line to the heart like “Aada” or Father.

19 May 2017/1:13 pm

They are not conscious of the unseen like action figures moved and motivated by an unseen force. Book $30 The Ethereal Aether Loyd S. Swenson, JR.

20 May 2017/8:18 am

The Flash, 2nd Episode like Matrix Smiths — one controlling the rest.  (television series CW/DVD we own) Grant Gustin version.

Streams in the Desert Cowman Publications, Inc  (Mrs. Chas E. Cowman)

May 19

“And it came to pass, before he done speaking and he said, Blessed by Jehovah….who hath not forsaken his lovingkindness and his truth.” (Gen. 24:15, 27.)

Every right prayer is answered before the prayer itself is finished-before we have “done speaking.” This is because God has pledged His Word to us that whatsoever we ask in Christ’s name (that is, in oneness with Christ and His will) and in faith, shall be done.

As God’s Word cannot fail, whenever we meet those simple conditions in prayer, the answer to our prayer has been granted and completed in Heaven as we pray, even though its showing forth on earth may not occur until long afterward.

So it is well to close every prayer with praise to God for the answer that He has already granted; He who never forsakes His loving-kindness and His truth. (See Daniel 9:20-27 and 10:12.) – Messages from the Morning Watch.

When we believe for a blessing, we must take the attitude of faith; and begin to act and pray as if we had the blessing.

We must treat God as if He had given us our request. We must lean our weight over upon Him for the thing that we have claimed, and just take it for granted that He gives it, and is going to continue to give it. This is the attitude of trust.

When the wife is married, she at once falls into a new attitude, and acts in accordance with the fact; and so when we take Christ as our Savior, as our Sanctifier, as our Healer, or recognizing Him in the capacity that we have claimed, and expect Him to be to us all that we have trusted Him for. – Selected.

“The thing I ask when God doth bid me pray,

Begins in that same act to come my way.”

 

May 20

“Shall I refuse to drink the cup of sorrow which the Father has given me to drink?” (John 18:11.) (Weymouth)

God takes a thousand times more pains with us than the artist with his picture, by many touches of sorrow, and by many colors of circumstances, to bring us into the form which is the highest and noblest in His sight, if only we receive His gifts of myrrh in the right spirit.

But when the cup is put away, and these feelings are stifled or unheeded, a greater injury is done to the soul that can ever be amended. For no heart can conceive in what surpassing love God giveth us this myrrh, yet this which we ought to receive to our souls; good we suffer to pass by us in our sleepy indifference, and nothing comes of it.

Then we come and complain; “Alas, Lord! I am so dry, and it is so dark within me!” I tell thee, dear child, open thy heart to the pain, and it will do thee more good than if thou wert full of feeling and devoutness. – Tauler

“The cry of man’s anguish went up to God,

‘Lord take away pain:

The shadow that darkens the world Thou hast made,

The close-coiling chain

That strangles the heart, the burden that weighs

On the wings that would soar,

Lord take away pain from the world Thou hast made,

That if love Thee the more.’

“Then answered the Lord to the cry of His world:

‘Shall I take away pain,

And with it the power of the soul to endure,

Made strong by the strain?

Shall I take away pity, that knits heart to heart

And sacrifice high?

Will ye lose all your heroes that lift from the fire

White brows to the sky?

Shall I take away love that redeems with a price

And smiles at its loss?

Can ye spare from your lives that would climb unto Me

The Christ on His cross?”

 

http://www.dailygood.org/2017/05/20/why-stories-matter/

The things that matter most in our lives are not fantastic or grand. They are moments when we touch one another.
Jack Kornfield

Why Stories Matter

Why Stories MatterMay 20, 2017— “Storytelling, recognised in every society as a way of making sense of cultural roots or social reality, is an elaborate form of metaphor, and memoir is its masterpiece: life stories enable us to share insights and enhance mutual understanding in a social, political, psychological and spiritual sense. Memoir is revolutionary precisely because, when shared, it’s a way towards the truth.” In this essay, Paul Tritschler skillfully demonstrates how sharing our human stories can connect us, change us, even save us. As common travelers on this earth, we are more similar than different, kept apart by our own mental barriers. Here, Tritschler shares two experiences from his journey where he learned about empathy, altruism, joy, and sacrifice from strangers who broke down barriers with little more than their human spirit. (699 reads)