13 Feb 2018 Seek First to Understand

20 April 2017 – I don’t know why but I put these things together. The Prayer of St. Francis is one of my very favorites.

Hello just a quick post.  I wanted to share some thoughts that came to me today.  I had been feeling anxious and my brain was running pretty fast and I’m tired from not sleeping so well the past couple of nights.  So I grabbed my chalks, even though it is cold out (if you dress appropriately the cold isn’t so bad), and these thoughts came to me….specifically the words of one of my favorite prayers.  The part about seeking to understand versus always being understood specifically.  Most of my life I’ve tried to do the understanding part but it’s not always easy.  Sometimes you want others to “get you” to understand why you are the way you are and you can’t tell them the whole story of why because they have their own problems too.   It’s hard to focus on other people’s “stuff” when while they are talking, you are thinking about your own self the whole time….”what’s in this for me?  why should I care?”  It’s hard to be selfless and empathetic and or caring and also take care of, even “protect” yourself from others stuff.  This is where compromise, respect, treating others like you would want to be treated and healthy boundaries and all that good stuff comes into play.

Anyhew – hope something here resonates.  One person can’t fix a mess as big as the one we’ve got here on Earth.  I know I didn’t make all this mess but I did have my part in all of it.  We each have a part in the mess and have to find our way of working towards a loving, peaceful, non-violent solution to it.  It didn’t happen overnight!  The phrase that keeps coming to me, “Trust the Process.”  For me that means having faith in myself and the God of my understanding that there is a plan in all of this.

26 Oct 2017 A Simple Prayer St Francis that belong to Kyles Grandma Pat Hultgren

13 Feb 2018 – what a birthday gift to be able to do this every day. What is Time for?  To make money or make a meaningful life?  What is money without a meaningful life?  We’ve created quite the paradox!



12 Feb 2018 Blue TV Screen (dreams) and Time to make amends

Hello to you.  Just a short note to help me process a couple of dreams that woke me from my sleep.  The first one was scary until after I processed it and went back to bed.

What happened is I dreamt I was in bed and Link was next to me and kept growling like he really does.  Then he was on top of my legs like he was protecting me from something in the room.  There was someone there but I couldn’t see them but Link could.  I got up out of bed and was able to see in the dark.  I was slapping my hands together in front of my face like someone was there trying to get inside me.  I was yelling at “them” to “get out!” over and over again. I chased them to the living room and I saw a blue television screen in the darkness and whoever, whatever was in front of it and just disappeared and the tv shut off.  I woke up yelling and screaming which of course upset Kyle.    This dream was like my life but in a different “configuration.”

What came to me, trying to process this dream and calm myself down, was it was not meant to scare me, it was information.  Recordings are like the Horcruxes  in Harry Potter.  We “choose” who had immortality in this process (tv, movies, books and music).  The energy of our attention (adoration) and the emotions attached to what we watch determines what kind of immortal those recorded will be.  Often conflicted.  This brought forth E=Mc2 from my reading about Albert Einstein’s life.  About how yesterday I came to understand Hiroshima was like splitting God into two parts – turning energy against energy….God against themselves!  What came to me this morning also was remembering about God being a jealous God in the Old Testament,  isn’t jealousy a human emotion?  What I have come to wonder is if Time is God’s way of both punishing and loving us for making mistakes like Hiroshima.  Like them saying to us, “I will give you “time” to make amends.”  I visualized us, this whole earth being like one of God’s snowglobes.   Who else but a God could make Time?  Who else but a jealous man could conceive of it?  I know….out there to think such things but that’s how I think – how things are “alike” more than “unalike.”   It is in this way of thinking I have come to this God of my understanding.

12 Bible results for “Jealous God.” Showing results 1-12.

Suggested result

Exodus 20:5 [Full Chapter]

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

Bible search results

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

He stretched out what looked like a hand and took me by the hair of my head. The Spirit lifted me up between earth and heaven and in visions of God he took me to Jerusalem, to the entrance of the north gate of the inner court, where the idol that provokes to jealousy stood.

[ The Lord’s Anger Against Nineveh ] The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The Lord takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies.

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The second dream was very short but woke me up also because it was so vivid.  It was about being in church or somewhere like it and reading a passage and it being the same frequency as someone else reading it.  Then for the second time I go back and there is a young man with dark hair and eyes with those black horned rimmed glasses who is like a “substitute” for someone else when I come again.  He wants to read with me and just before I begin to read I can hear him whisper  “I love you.”  Then I woke up.



Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity

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Einstein's Theory of General Relativity
Einstein’s theory of general relativity predicted that the space-time around Earth would be not only warped but also twisted by the planet’s rotation. Gravity Probe B showed this to be correct.

Credit: NASA

In 1905, Albert Einstein determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and that the speed of light in a vacuum was independent of the motion of all observers. This was the theory of special relativity. It introduced a new framework for all of physics and proposed new concepts of space and time.

Einstein then spent 10 years trying to include acceleration in the theory and published his theory of general relativity in 1915. In it, he determined that massive objects cause a distortion in space-time, which is felt as gravity.

Two objects exert a force of attraction on one another known as “gravity.” Sir Isaac Newton quantified the gravity between two objects when he formulated his three laws of motion. The force tugging between two bodies depends on how massive each one is and how far apart the two lie. Even as the center of the Earth is pulling you toward it (keeping you firmly lodged on the ground), your center of mass is pulling back at the Earth. But the more massive body barely feels the tug from you, while with your much smaller mass you find yourself firmly rooted thanks to that same force. Yet Newton’s laws assume that gravity is an innate force of an object that can act over a distance.

Albert Einstein, in his theory of special relativity, determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and he showed that the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels. As a result, he found that space and time were interwoven into a single continuum known as space-time. Events that occur at the same time for one observer could occur at different times for another.

As he worked out the equations for his general theory of relativity, Einstein realized that massive objects caused a distortion in space-time. Imagine setting a large body in the center of a trampoline. The body would press down into the fabric, causing it to dimple. A marble rolled around the edge would spiral inward toward the body, pulled in much the same way that the gravity of a planet pulls at rocks in space. [Video: How To See Spacetime Stretch]

Although instruments can neither see nor measure space-time, several of the phenomena predicted by its warping have been confirmed.

Einstein's Cross is an example of gravitational lensing.
Einstein’s Cross is an example of gravitational lensing.

Credit: NASA and European Space Agency (ESA)

Gravitational lensing: Light around a massive object, such as a black hole, is bent, causing it to act as a lens for the things that lie behind it. Astronomers routinely use this method to study stars and galaxies behind massive objects.

Einstein’s Cross, a quasar in the Pegasus constellation, is an excellent example of gravitational lensing. The quasar is about 8 billion light-years from Earth, and sits behind a galaxy that is 400 million light-years away. Four images of the quasar appear around the galaxy because the intense gravity of the galaxy bends the light coming from the quasar.

Gravitational lensing can allow scientists to see some pretty cool things, but until recently, what they spotted around the lens has remained fairly static. However, since the light traveling around the lens takes a different path, each traveling over a different amount of time, scientists were able to observe a supernova occur four different times as it was magnified by a massive galaxy.

In another interesting observation, NASA’s Kepler telescope spotted a dead star, known as a white dwarf, orbiting a red dwarf in a binary system. Although the white dwarf is more massive, it has a far smaller radius than its companion.

“The technique is equivalent to spotting a flea on a light bulb 3,000 miles away, roughly the distance from Los Angeles to New York City,” Avi Shporer of the California Institute of Technology said in a statement.

Changes in the orbit of Mercury: The orbit of Mercury is shifting very gradually over time, due to the curvature of space-time around the massive sun. In a few billion years, it could even collide with Earth.

Frame-dragging of space-time around rotating bodies: The spin of a heavy object, such as Earth, should twist and distort the space-time around it. In 2004, NASA launched the Gravity Probe B GP-B). The precisely calibrated satellite caused the axes of gyroscopes inside to drift very slightly over time, a result that coincided with Einstein’s theory.

“Imagine the Earth as if it were immersed in honey,” Gravity Probe-B principal investigator Francis Everitt, of Stanford University, said in a statement.

“As the planet rotates, the honey around it would swirl, and it’s the same with space and time. GP-B confirmed two of the most profound predictions of Einstein’s universe, having far-reaching implications across astrophysics research.”

Gravitational redshift: The electromagnetic radiation of an object is stretched out slightly inside a gravitational field. Think of the sound waves that emanate from a siren on an emergency vehicle; as the vehicle moves toward an observer, sound waves are compressed, but as it moves away, they are stretched out, or redshifted. Known as the Doppler Effect, the same phenomena occurs with waves of light at all frequencies. In 1959, two physicists, Robert Pound and Glen Rebka, shot gamma-rays of radioactive iron up the side of a tower at Harvard University and found them to be minutely less than their natural frequency due to distortions caused by gravity.

Gravitational waves: Violent events, such as the collision of two black holes, are thought to be able to create ripples in space-time known as gravitational waves. In 2016, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO) announced that it found evidence of these tell-tale indicators.

In 2014, scientists announced that they had detected gravitational waves left over from the Big Bang using the Background Imaging of Cosmic Extragalactic Polarization (BICEP2) telescope in Antarctica. It is thought that such waves are embedded in the cosmic microwave background. However, further research revealed that their data was contaminated by dust in the line of sight.

“Searching for this unique record of the very early universe is as difficult as it is exciting,” Jan Tauber, the European Space Agency’s project scientist for the Planck space mission to search for cosmic waves, said in a statement.

LIGO spotted the first confirmed gravitational wave on September 14, 2015. The pair of instruments, based out of Louisiana and Washington, had recently been upgraded, and were in the process of being calibrated before they went online. The first detection was so large that, according to LIGO spokesperson Gabriela Gonzalez, it took the team several months of analyzation to convince themselves that it was a real signal and not a glitch.

“We were very lucky on the first detection that it was so obvious,” she said during at the 228 American Astronomical Society meeting in June 2016.

A second signal was spotted on December 26 of the same year, and a third candidate was mentioned along with it. While the first two signals are almost definitively astrophysical—Gonzalez said there was less than one part in a million of them being something else—the third candidate has only an 85 percent probability of being a gravitational wave.

Together, the two firm detections provide evidence for pairs of black holes spiraling inward and colliding. As time passes, Gonzalez anticipates that more gravitational waves will be detected by LIGO and other upcoming instruments, such as the one planned by India.

“We can test general relativity, and general relativity has passed the test,” Gonzalez said.

[See our full discovery story here; a video on the find here; and our complete coverage of the historic scientific discovery here]

1028 am – I did some more thinking about the meaning of Einstein’s theory; again, everyone thinking differently may help provide new in-sights.

IMG_3410 12 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant morning meditation about Einstein Theory of Relativity Alvarado TX

9 Feb 2018 Love and Abandonment (Morning meditation)

9 Feb 2018 /1019 am

I was outside preparing to do some “chalking” when a revelation about connection between “wisdom,” Why of Life and Death and Tree of Life came. It was instigated by my finding seeds that blew down from cotton tree to my hoodie. My good friend the cotton tree helping me again. What came brought forth a lot of tears. If I (we as a species) had remained ignorant, didn’t need to find out why (curiosity) I (we) wouldn’t know or care about living and dying. Sentience and consciousness, “awareness” would never have happened and may be we would have been happier — “Ignorance is Bliss” philosophy.

17 May 2017 – Cottonwood seed ships

Love changed everything because with love comes “attachment.” Something I learned more about through Buddhism’s the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path. When you lose something or someone you love more than “existence” you will tear heaven and earth apart to find it, reclaim it. What I was willing to do at Mesa Springs when I didn’t know where Kyle was. What happened to me for 3 years after we lost our Sammy.

Source Internet: Seed of Life. I loved that this is made in stained glass with chakra colors.

Abandonment creates some of the largest energy vortexes, human black holes. It can be “perceived” or intentional abandonment but the abandoned feel it all the same. Why?!Where did you go?! When are you coming back?! Will you come back?!

(My mother, my Grandparents….all those I’ve loved and lost for whatever reason. I had to grieve and heal — fill the holes their “abandonment of me” left behind.

All of us have lost people, places and things through our shared journey. Are we so attached to these that we are willing to destroy ourselves and a planet to retrieve them? This is just what I see for myself. I hope there is something in this morning meditation that resonates with you….is helpful. I would ask you, what positive, loving aspect of existence can you put in the “holes” some sort of abandonment has made in your mind, body and most importantly your soul?

What do I do? All through my blogs here is what I’ve learned to do for myself with unseen guidance and loving nudges from the tangible elements that surround me. The arts, meaningful work, chores, spirituality, helping others and educating myself about people, places and things I don’t understand before making judgements about them. It is in the latter I have come to realize I can judge no one nor is there anyone on this earth who can either. We are all imperfect and it is in that imperfection we are amazing creations capable of greatness beyond our wildest dreams. We are here for each other. No one person can fix this shared mess our world has become. We must learn to build bridges instead of more walls.

17-feb-2011-my-puppy-sammy-and-his-tennis-ball (Sammy crossed the rainbow bridge 27 April 2011)

My Mom Jeanne and my Grandpa Harold (Hal) Becker on her wedding day, 21 Nov 1965.

8 Feb 2018 Dr. Wilhelm Reich books The Cancer biopathy and Function of the Orgasm Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant Blue Book for Alcoholics Anonymous Alvarado TX meditation about addiction like sugar etc

8 Feb 2018 Two books from Grandma Becker and Aunt Ruth to help me heal inside when I was younger I read from How to Be your own best friend out loud Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Refilling Energy Voids

This morning I woke up thinking about friends of mine who have had weight loss surgery. I’ve had three friends undergo this sort of procedure and the recovery process has been unique for all three of them. Now the reason I got to thinking about this was because it’s on the a train of thought I’ve been on about energy vampirism and energy consumption.

I have been frustrated with one of my friends in particular because it feels like since she had the surgery, she’s been grasping about for something to refill the energy void left behind by not being a to eat food like she used to. Well, a flag went up in myself the past couple of days. Why am I so frustrated with her? I’m looking in the mirror at a past reflection that’s why! I learned this from Shakti Gawain’s books many years ago. Usually if we don’t like someone for whatever reason, it means there is something about ourselves that we recognize in them that we don’t like. It may be we’ve moved past whatever the person is reflecting to us or we are still working through it and the person is an “ugly” reminder of what we have yet been unable to change about yourself.

What I have found myself saying in regards to the friend I’m thinking of is a quote from a movie put into a song by Velvet Acid Christ: “Did you hear it?” “It shows you things, horrible things.” “The dark inside me, from the other place… I won’t go back there, I won’t.”

The Dark Inside Me

BUT…..if others had not “fed” me when I was growing up, I see everyday in the news and through history just the sort of human being, “monster”, I could have become. As I reflect on my younger years, there were times when I was a real pain in the ass to be around. I was negative, judgmental, draining, ignorant, willful and extremely unhappy. I didn’t know how to “feed myself” (soothe myself.) Religion alone did not help me, it was specific people that were part of of my life that helped me. When I was younger I used to be fascinated with monsters real and imagined and I think part of that was my quest to try and understand what the hell was going on with me! Why was I so different?!

I realized my fascination with Dracula had an origin story in the Catholic Church ritual, Communion, “The Last Supper.” “Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood.” I can remember as a little girl truly thinking about what those words meant and I made myself break out into a sweat and nearly black out right as I knelt in a church service! If you were to take those words literally it was like cannibalism or vampirism…..consuming God! Dracula at the pulpit!  What does one do to fill the “void” the absence of a healthy relationship (to include sexual partner) provides when you are a priest?

I drew this man 11 Oct 2012 – as I drew him he morphed and at one point looked a lot like JRM which was funny as I had just found out JRM was going to portray Dracula

What I have learned from my own experience with this is when you lose something like innocence or someone significant to you like my mother committing suicide when I was barely a year old, a great energy void was created….had to be filled. I spent many years trying to put people, places, pets, “shiny things” things (which became addictions in some cases) ..anything that gave me even a fleeting glimpse of happiness into the void my mother’s death left in me. I learned the hard way that there is nothing on this earth that can fill such a void but God.

The God I understood and was taught about growing up came from churches and books. I grasped about into the New Age scene, Holistic type remedies, art, photography, work, sex, marriage, pet ownership, helping others through community service and still I didn’t truly know who God was for me. Then came that day a couple of years ago since we moved here to Texas , when my Dad and I were sitting on my back porch, and we agreed on something for the first time in a long time…..”God is in everything.”

It was kind of an “A-ha” spiritual moment for me. I have always felt like a huge part of my Dad was unknown to me because of what happened with my Mom. Here was something we both agreed on and a seed was planted in me.

30 Aug 2012 Jackie Drawing – when Dad first met Spot

When our cocker spaniel Sammy died in 2011 was another big whammy for both Kyle and I. For me, losing Sam was like losing a child and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had. I can remember going out to the field down the street, my “blooming field” before it became houses, and screaming in 100 degree heat at God, “BRING HIM BACK!” Just wandering everywhere looking for him, imagining he was walking with me. There was only ever going to be just one Sam and I had to find a way to live without him. I had to save myself.

Back in April 2014 I was walking in the field down the street from our house before it became houses and found half of an Choctaw Indian Christmas ornament and later found the other half at the entrance to our neighborhood! I thought it was a sign my friend Erin who is part Choctaw was having a son but we got three puppies….Link…instead. In a way it was like God answering my pleas to bring my Sammy back!

Everything is energy, everything is a sort of “food.” This is emotions, things, people, animals and nature. All of these elements consciously or subconsciously feed us energy in some way. Human beings can become “black holes” if left unchecked. A human black hole will devour anything and anyone in it’s path….negative energy vampire so to speak. Negative energy is better than not being fed and there are people, very visible people on our world stage, that model this sort of behavior for us and it may not even be a conscious effort on their part….it’s just who they are now.

We have built a society that teaches us to seek people, places and things to fill the void only God energy can fill. Well if everything is God then what to “eat?” Our diet is not just about what tangible foods we put into ourselves. Our diet is not about what celebrity’s image and spirit we can devour until we grow bored and move on. Our diet is not about the latest video game we devour until the next patch of “crack” comes out. Our diet is not supposed to be the latest electronic gadget or phone but it has become that and we are unfufilled…restless…addicted….bored and grasping about for sustainable food that just isn’t there! Do you get the idea? What are you “eating” you stay “full?”

Something else came to me from the Horror genre….the phrase that is always the worst thing to say in a horror movie, “I’ll be right back.” They never come back. After all these thousands of years of waiting for Jesus to come back he hasn’t…..or has “he?” Is God deaf to our cries? No. It’s like with our Sam. I begged God to send me Sammy back and then came Link! Three years we waited…Link was one of three boys. It was like God saying I will even let you choose! God heard me and I believe sent us Link to heal my heart but not to save me…to help me heal myself. Kyle and I had to learn to “feed ourselves” and not rely on Sammy. There is a reason dog spelled backwards is God!

Look in the mirror people. Who is there and do you love that person without condition? What are you “feeding” that person? There is nothing of this world that can fill the energy voids pain, suffering, loss and change create but God. Who is the God of your understanding? Does this God love you and all the world without condition?  Learn to “feed yourself! without “feeding” off of others or using artificial God’s. 

I know this is a lot but it’s what I was lead to write this morning. I’m not trying to change you or tell you what you should do or what you should believe and definitely not judging you. I’m just trying to help you help yourselves by sharing my experience, strength and Hope.

I hope something here resonates with you and if it does, pass it on in your way. We are all two-way or transistor radio’s in a way – sending and receiving signals.

Audioslave – Show Me How to Live

Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live …
And with the early dawn
Moving right along
I couldn’t buy and eyeful of sleep
And in the aching night under satellites
I was not received
Built with stolen parts
A telephone in my heart
Someone get me a priest
To put my mind to bed
This ringing in my head
Is this a cure or is this a disease
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
And in the after birth
On the quiet earth
Let the stains remind you
You thought you made a man
You better think again
Before my role defines you
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
And in your waiting hands
I will land
And roll out of my skin
And in your final hours I will stand
Ready to begin
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Show me how to live
Songwriters: Brad Wilk / Chris Cornell / Timothy Commerford / Tom Morello
Show Me How to Live lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

6 Feb 2018 Messy – final phase of painting #3

Hello to you.  How are you where and when you are?  It’s cold and gray here today….an inside day.  I decided to finish the painting I’ve been working on.  To some, it may look unappealing, “Messy” and “Unpolished”, like the title I gave it….my name…Jackie.  “Beauty” is definitely in the eye of the beholder!  I will be seeing my friend soon who gave me the financial support to be able to afford paints and canvas to do these.  She will be given an opportunity to choose a painting – my gratitude to her for helping me with this endeavor.  I am not sure if after the paints are gone if I will buy more.  There is a guilt I feel about this – not an eco-friendly hobby painting.  If I were to continue, Kyle and I talked about this, I would need a village lol.  Someone(s) to make canvas from scratch and Someone(s) to make paint like they used to.  There is so much that is involved for the things we use each day without even thinking about the origin of them…”where things come from” and “how they are made.”  What is the ultimate “cost” of our works, hobbies and crafts to the environment?   Are our shared activities “sustainable?”   I guess I needed a reminder.  It’s all very complicated and “Messy.” 

6 Feb 2018 – final phase of the painting and it’s messy and unpolished just like me…the title of this painting is “Jackie.”

2 Feb 2018 Treasure

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6&version=NIV – this chapter of the Bible came to my mind thinking about the title of my blog today.   I use the term God because it’s a term most people universally know.  Every walk of life on this planet has their own version of what “God” is.  In my opinion it is the term “religion” versus spirituality that has divided us as a species.  For so long people thinking they are right and others are wrong instead of just accepting that everyone is different.  So much bloodshed over who is right and who is wrong in regards to religion!  It’s important to remember in addition to us not all being born into the same “systems” we are biologically incapable of perceiving existence the same way (thank you Josh White: https://bookme.name/JoshWhite)!

The God of my understanding is the Energy of all existence.  There is no gender or anything specific – just Energy.   There isn’t just one way when it comes to such a God and that is why I chose this understanding for myself.  I want to live in a world where people are allowed to be who they were born to be and lead fulfilling lives – knowing unconditional love as they live, not waiting for death to obtain it in a place they’ve been taught they won’t be worthy to receive it anyways!  Why would a loving God condemn their creation to such a negative spiral of existence?!  Never understood that.

I do not fly under any one “banner” of religion/spirituality but do find a lot of wisdom in the New Testament.  Matthew is one of my favorite books.

Matthew 6 New International Version (NIV)

Giving to the Needy

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.


(I’ve gone even simpler and found much better results.  When you place too many conditions on God and they go unmet, you sow a seed of resentment in your heart against God if your prayer with conditions isn’t answered like you think it should be.  The God of my understanding, the Energy of all life/existence, does not feel or have emotions like we do….that’s what we are for.  That’s why we have hearts and senses….bodies.  God can see all through existence forward and backwards…we cannot.  We do not know “what is best” for any given situation with our limited tangible experience.   Our souls may be ancient but God will always be older!   The prayer I came up with for myself:   “I pray for the greatest and most loving good for (insert person, place, situation).  Not as I would have it, but as you would have it.”)

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

“This, then, is how you should pray:

“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,[a]
    but deliver us from the evil one.[b]

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.


16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Treasures in Heaven* 

(Where is “heaven” to you? Why must we wait for death to experience it when God has made heaven all around us to share with those we love while we still live?)

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[c] your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


  1. Matthew 6:13 The Greek for temptation can also mean testing.
  2. Matthew 6:13 Or from evil; some late manuscripts one, / for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.
  3. Matthew 6:22 The Greek for healthy here implies generous.
  4. Matthew 6:23 The Greek for unhealthy here implies stingy.
  5. Matthew 6:27 Or single cubit to your height

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

I know some people are “put off” by the Bible and “religion-speak” but sometimes, if we have an open-mind, we can see how all things are useful, connected even.  I believe each moment we live is filled with “clues” to the next moment….no snoozing allowed in Life School!

11 Jan 2018 Dream about ice dimension and increase in unexplained phenomenon being recorded

Dream about riding a special automated flying bicycle through woods. Then it was winter. There was thawing, warmth and city life things going on. As I sat by a frozen lakes edge that was melting, I saw thin layer of clear ice suspended in the sky. I poked it with a stick and actually broke through it like a dimensional hole. When I walked through the hole I made, the other side was completely frozen! There was no sun, no thawing, just endless and solid ice! The “thawing” city was an illusion.

*This is probably just my mind trying to understand the weather lately. I was reading from Walden again which for some reason tends to be a trigger or key to nature themed dreams for me.

10 Jan 2018 Jackie Wygant random thoughts drawing Alvarado TX

I did one of my random drawings yesterday afternoon. It appears to be yet another “tv guide” for this video we would watch this morning while eating breakfast!

5 UNEXPLAINED MYSTERIES in the Sky Caught on Camera

Nuke’s Top 5

Published on Jun 9, 2017

Top 5 unexplained mysteries and strange phenomenon in the sky ! Very weird and unexplainable events and sightings witnessed by REAL people and caught on camera.

I have a theory about why so many more unexplained things are being recorded or are happening these days.  It’s obvious part of it is due to better technology that is able to actually record things we were previously incapable of recording.  I suspect something else:  Wifi or ambient energy charged particles.  What are we “feeding” with the plethora of energy waves we are making more and more of each day?  Are we making pathways….food for tears in reality and food for previously unseen travelers or residual and intelligent hauntings?  Who needs to suck on batteries when you have cell phones and so much more to feed on!  Ghost hunters know about drained batteries.  Kyle and I have experienced on more than one occasion having batteries to devices be completely drained.   It takes energy to “manifest” in reality and we are generating oodles of it!  Who are what are we allowing access to our realities?

Bizarre I know, but that’s just what has come to mind about this lately.  There are so many more ambient energy waves than their used to be just floating all around us.  Are they charging the particles they encounter?  I’ve come to believe we are living in an “energy soup” and everyone and everything that has come before us and is with us now leaves parts of themselves in the atmosphere we all eat, drink and breathe – dander, hair, skin cells, pollen….dust.   Literally everything is energy.  Just a thought.

Strange and unexplainable things have been happening for a very long time.  I have a whole disk of orb pictures I took when I lived in Colorado many years ago.  Some were just dust particles illuminated by the flash, some were tiny bugs captured by light in plants and some I can’t explain.  What’s the most energy efficient shape in which to travel…probably a circle like an orb.  Our technological capabilities have vastly improved from those times.  The energetic “noise” we make now with all these gadgets is much more so than in ages past.

This is a picture I took of May back in 2001 when we lived in base housing at Peterson AFB CO. She seems to be looking at an orb of “something” on the ceiling right above her. Was it a bug? Dust? Something else?

The other thought that comes to mind with regards to the possibility of extraterrestrial visitors, is that they have always been here!  We are now just getting more capable technologies that actually allow us to see them.  If I were an alien trying to make contact with what could be perceived as a very hostile species (humans) I wouldn’t land on the White House front lawn!   I would use stealth technologies and diversionary tactics so there would always be a question as to what was actually being seen.  I guess I get my notes from Gene Roddenberry’s Prime Directive in Star Trek:

Prime Directive. In the fictional universe of Star Trek, the Prime Directive is a guiding principle of the United Federation of Planets prohibiting the protagonists from interfering with the internal development of alien civilizations. The Prime Directive has been used in five of the six Star Trek-based series.

4 Jan 2018 Strange things, Blue Moon (drawings), Digital Dark Age and Myths and Monsters (Netflix)

3 Jan 2018 – I know this is a strange drawing. As I’ve mentioned before with how things work for me when I’m drawing – I just draw. The numbers were just what I heard in my head.  A year or so ago now I had a very vivid dream that involved gray aliens.  More than one of them was standing around me.  I can remember asking them “What are you doing to my face?!”  When I saw my face in the dream, it was half human and half alien.  Every time they were around in the dream after that I couldn’t see them but Spot would start barking at seemingly nothing.  I don’t have a bad feeling about them at all.

3 Jan 2018 – I’m trying to get in the habit of making a “hard copy” of my chalk drawings.  We are systematically, as I’m finding from experience, being erased through digital censorship*see article I shared. Anyhew… as you can see, the translation changes from chalk to paper and pen.

3 Jan 2018 – What came to mind on this one was “station.” I’ve been interested in recent videos I saw of interesting craft appearing around the space station.

3 Jan 2018 – The translation came out to be quite different that what I drew in chalk!

3 Jan 2018 – “Blue moon” – this was the last drawing of yesterday.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/newsscienceandtechnology/scientists-warn-we-may-be-creating-a-digital-dark-age/ar-BBHKb6t?ocid=sfyou may want to consider going a little “old school” on things about your life that you want preserved for posterity or risk being “erased.”  I’ve already started running into format issues when trying to open documents I saved on CD’s several years ago.  If it’s important to you, you might want to make a real hard copy of it.  I still keep hard copy journals etc. 

Adam Wernick, Science Friday

Scientists warn we may be creating a ‘digital dark age’

You may think that those photos on Facebook or all your tweets may last forever, or might even come back to haunt you, depending on what you have out there. But, in reality, much of our digital information is at risk of disappearing in the future.

Unlike in previous decades, no physical record exists these days for much of the digital material we own. Your old CDs, for example, will not last more than a couple of decades. This worries archivists and archaeologists and presents a knotty technological challenge.

“We may [one day] know less about the early 21st century than we do about the early 20th century,” says Rick West, who manages data at Google. “The early 20th century is still largely based on things like paper and film formats that are still accessible to a large extent; whereas, much of what we’re doing now — the things we’re putting into the cloud, our digital content — is born digital. It’s not something that we translated from an analog container into a digital container, but, in fact, it is born, and now increasingly dies, as digital content, without any kind of analog counterpart.”

Computer and data specialists refer to this era of lost data as the “digital dark ages.” Other experts call the 21st century an “informational black hole,” because the digital information we are creating right now may not be readable by machines and software programs of the future. All that data, they worry — our century’s digital history — is at risk of never being recoverable.

Surprisingly, many of the world’s largest companies and data-based enterprises still rely on an old storage medium: magnetic tape. In 1952, IBM introduced the first magnetic tape data storage system, ushering in the modern era of electronic computing. An early tape unit could hold about 2.3 megabytes per reel on two tapes.

The medium has come a long way, says Lauren Young, Science Friday’s web producer and the lead reporter on a three-part series called “File Not Found,” which explores issues of data storage (and loss) of all kinds. A single cartridge of today’s magnetic tape can hold hundreds of terabytes of data, the equivalent to hundreds of millions of books, Young says. “This past summer, IBM increased the amount a cartridge can hold to 330 terabytes, which is 330,000 gigabytes per cartridge. Big companies like Google and particle physics labs like Fermilab all have massive libraries of tape with thousands and thousands of cartridges.”

While most companies use digital technologies for first-line storage, in many cases, magnetic tape is the backup to the backup. This, too, can present problems, in the form of evolving magnetic formats and a phenomenon known as “bit rot.” Over time, the digital information on tape, and in other digital formats, can decay or degrade if it is not stored properly or is subjected to other adverse conditions.

Kari Kraus, an associate professor in the College of Information Studies at the University of Maryland in College Park and who helps run a project that rescues and resurrects digital relics, including video games and virtual worlds, knows about bit rot, and its close relative “software rot,” in which old files, games and other data becomes unusable because no format exists to read and reproduce the information.

“Different storage media have different lifespans,” Kraus says. “In our project, we worked a lot with magnetic media like floppy disks and those only have a lifespan of, say, 10 to 14 years. Optical media like DVDs and CD-ROM, I believe have even less. It is going to be a problem across different storage media.”

IBM 729: The IBM 729 Magnetic Tape Unit was IBM's iconic tape mass storage system from the late 1950s through the mid-1960s.© Credit: Wikimedia Commons The IBM 729 Magnetic Tape Unit was IBM’s iconic tape mass storage system from the late 1950s through the mid-1960s.

Lauren Young says some researchers see hope in one of the newest technologies: DNA storage. “Basically, researchers have found a way to store data onto DNA, which is a billion-year-old molecule that can store the essence of life,” Young explains. “It’s pretty incredible that they can do that. It’s all synthetically made; it’s not genomic DNA.”

In this case, storage capacity is measured in petabytes; that is, millions of gigabytes. Science Magazine writes: “A single gram of DNA could, in principle, store every bit of datum ever recorded by humans in a container about the size and weight of a couple of pickup trucks.”

Kari Kraus understands the urgency but says she cannot make up her mind whether the phrase, digital dark ages, is overblown or not. “We have architectural ruins; we have paintings in tatters. The past always survives in fragments already,” she says. “I guess I tend to see preservation as not a binary — either it’s preserved or it’s not. There are gradations of preservation. We can often preserve parts of a larger whole.”

Related video: Twitter is too big for the Library of Congress to archive (provided by Newsy)

We started watching this on Netflix – very interesting.  The art/graphics with it are amazing:

Myths & Monsters – Trailer – Netflix [HD]

Published on Dec 2, 2017

Myths and Monsters takes its audience on a journey through the mythic landscape of Europe, revealing the origins of the most famous legends this continent has produced and exploring why they have endured so long.

A 3DD Production for Netflix.
Presented by Nicholas Day

Directed by Daniel Kontur
Written by William Simpson

Produced by Daniel Kontur, William Simpson

Executive Producers – Dominic Saville, Patricia Hickey, Cal Seville

Cinematography by Pablo Rojo
Edited by Ashley Hall
Music by Murat Evgin

Animations by ODD Budapest.


1 Jan 2018 A glimpse of light and classic reads (The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins 1859)

Hello to you.  It’s 7:06 am on this first day of 2018.  It was quiet last night for a change.  People actually obeyed the city ordinance  of no fireworks in city limits for a change, which we as dog owners and early to bed types appreciated!

This morning when I went to shake out a rug I looked up and there were white twinkling lights I hadn’t seen in a long time!  Stars!  ZOMG!  I went to the back and caught a glimpse of something else lovely I haven’t seen in a long time, a sunrise!  I just went out back to take a peek and there were mauve clouds!  So beautiful!  We’ve had a gray lid on top of us for about two weeks now.  To see the stars, a sunrise….natures lights….what a blessing!

Light in the Gray poem by Jackie Wygant 1 Jan 2018

It has been gray and dreary

The air cold and biting

Far from holiday cheery

But this morning,  in the distance I saw a twinkling white light

A shimmering star against a velvet blue

Twinkling bright

A gift for year that begins anew

Perhaps a glistening sign

Of peace for me….peace for you.


I downloaded several classic stories to my Kindle yesterday to include this one and I’m really enjoying it:

The Woman in White https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Woman_in_White_(novel)

The Woman in White (novel)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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The Woman in White
The Woman In White - Cover.jpg

Cover of first US edition
Author Wilkie Collins
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Genre Mystery novel, Sensation novel
Publisher All the Year Round


Publication date
26 November 1859 – 25 August 1860
OCLC 41545143
Preceded by The Dead Secret
Followed by No Name

The Woman in White is Wilkie Collins‘ fifth published novel, written in 1859. It is considered to be among the first mystery novels and is widely regarded as one of the first (and finest) in the genre of “sensation novels“.

The story is sometimes considered an early example of detective fiction with protagonist Walter Hartright employing many of the sleuthing techniques of later private detectives. The use of multiple narrators (including nearly all the principal characters) draws on Collins’s legal training,[1][2] and as he points out in his Preamble: “the story here presented will be told by more than one pen, as the story of an offence against the laws is told in Court by more than one witness”. In 2003, Robert McCrum writing for The Observer listed The Woman in White number 23 in “the top 100 greatest novels of all time”,[3] and the novel was listed at number 77 on the BBC‘s survey The Big Read.[4]


  • Walter Hartright – A young teacher of drawing, something of an everyman character, and distinguished by a strong sense of justice.
  • Frederick Fairlie – A wealthy hypochondriac land-owner: the uncle of Laura Fairlie, distinguished principally by his mock-politeness toward all other characters.
  • Laura Fairlie – Mr. Fairlie’s gentle, guileless, pretty niece: an heiress and orphan.
  • Marian Halcombe – Laura’s elder half-sister and companion; not attractive but intelligent and resourceful. She is described as one “of the finest creations in all Victorian fiction” by John Sutherland.[5]
  • Anne Catherick (“The Woman in White”) – An eccentric young woman distinguished by her insistence on white clothes; an illegitimate daughter of Laura’s father.
  • Jane Catherick – Anne’s unsympathetic mother; in league with Sir Percival Glyde in committing her daughter to the asylum. Depicted as an unpleasant character.
  • Vincent Gilmore – Lawyer to the Fairlies and close friend.
  • Sir Percival Glyde, Baronet – Laura’s fiancé and then husband; able to appear charming and gracious when he wishes but often abrasive.
  • Count Fosco – Sir Percival’s closest friend; his full name is Isidor Ottavio Baldassare Fosco. A grossly obese Italian with a mysterious past: eccentric, bombastic, urbane but intelligent and menacing. He keeps canaries and mice as pets. The Count greatly admires Marian for her intellect, so much so that he is willing to compromise several weak points in his plan (such as allowing Marian to retrieve Laura from the asylum) for her sake.
  • Countess Fosco – Laura’s aunt: once a giddy girl but now humourless and in near-unbroken obedience to her husband.
  • Professor Pesca – A teacher of Italian and good friend of Walter. The professor finds Walter the Limmeridge job, introducing him to Laura and Marian and proves to be Fosco’s unexpected nemesis.


Walter Hartright, a young art teacher, encounters and gives directions to a mysterious and distressed woman dressed entirely in white, lost in London; he is later informed by policemen that she has escaped from an asylum. Soon afterward, he travels to Limmeridge House in Cumberland, having been hired as a drawing master on the recommendation of his friend, Pesca, an Italian language master. The Limmeridge household comprises the invalid Frederick Fairlie, and Walter’s students: Laura Fairlie, Mr. Fairlie’s niece, and Marian Halcombe, her devoted half-sister. Walter realizes that Laura bears an astonishing resemblance to the woman in white, who is known to the household by the name of Anne Catherick: a mentally disabled child who formerly lived near Limmeridge, and was devoted to Laura’s mother, who first dressed her in white.

Over the next few months, Walter and Laura fall in love, despite Laura’s betrothal to Sir Percival Glyde, Baronet. Upon realizing this, Marian advises Walter to leave Limmeridge. Laura receives an anonymous letter warning her against marrying Glyde. Walter deduces that Anne has sent the letter and encounters her again in Cumberland; he becomes convinced that Glyde originally placed Anne in the asylum. Despite the misgivings of the family lawyer over the financial terms of the marriage settlement, which will give the entirety of Laura’s fortune to Glyde if she dies without leaving an heir, and Laura’s confession that she loves another man, Laura and Glyde marry in December 1849 and travel to Italy for six months. Concurrently, Walter joins an expedition to Honduras.

After six months, Sir Percival and Lady Glyde return to his house, Blackwater Park in Hampshire; accompanied by Glyde’s friend, Count Fosco (married to Laura’s aunt). Marian, at Laura’s request, resides at Blackwater and learns that Glyde is in financial difficulties. Glyde attempts to bully Laura into signing a document that would allow him to use her marriage settlement of £20,000, which Laura refuses. Anne, who is now terminally ill, travels to Blackwater Park and contacts Laura, saying that she holds a secret that will ruin Glyde’s life. Before she can disclose the secret, Glyde discovers their communication and becomes extremely paranoid, believing Laura knows his secret and attempts to keep her held at Blackwater. With the problem of Laura’s refusal to give away her fortune and Anne’s knowledge of his secret, Fosco conspires to use the resemblance between Laura and Anne to exchange their two identities. The two will trick both individuals into traveling with them to London; Laura will be placed in an asylum under the identity of Anne, and Anne will be buried under the identity of Laura upon her imminent death. Marian overhears part of this plan but becomes soaked by rain, and contracts typhus.

While Marian is ill, Laura is tricked into traveling to London, and the plan is accomplished. Anne Catherick succumbs to her illness and is buried as Laura, while Laura is drugged and conveyed to the asylum as Anne. When Marian visits the asylum, hoping to learn something from Anne, she finds Laura, who is dismissed as a deluded Anne when she claims to be Laura. Marian bribes the nurse, and Laura escapes. Walter has meanwhile returned from Honduras, and the three live incognito in London, formulating plans to restore Laura’s identity. During his research, Walter discovers Glyde’s secret; he was illegitimate, and therefore not entitled to inherit his title or property. In the belief that Walter has discovered or will discover his secret, Glyde attempts to incinerate the incriminating documents; but perishes in the flames. From Anne’s mother (Jane Catherick), Walter discovers that Anne never knew what Glyde’s secret was. She had only known that there was a secret around Glyde and had repeated words her mother had said in anger to threaten Glyde and then later got the idea into her head that she knew the secret. The reason that Glyde’s parents never got married was that his mother was already married to an Irish man, who left her. While he had no problem claiming the estate, he needed a marriage certificate between his parents to borrow money. So he went to a church in a village, where his parents had lived together and where the pastor, that had service there had died a long ago, and added a fake marriage into their church register. Mrs. Catherick had helped him getting access to the register and was awarded a golden watch with chain and an annual payment.

With the death of Glyde, the trio is safe from persecution, but still, have no way of proving Laura’s true identity. Walter suspects that Anne died before Laura’s trip to London, and proof of this would prove their story, but only Fosco holds knowledge of the dates. Walter figures out from a letter he got from Mrs. Catherick’s former employer, that Anne was the illegitimate child of Laura’s father. On a visit to the Opera with Pesca, he learns that Fosco has betrayed an Italian nationalist society, of which Pesca is a high-ranking member. When Fosco prepares to flee the country, Walter forces a written confession from him, by which Laura’s identity is legally restored, in exchange for a safe-conduct from England. Laura’s identity is restored and the inscription on her gravestone replaced by that of Anne Catherick. Fosco escapes, only to be killed by another agent of the society. To ensure the legitimacy of his efforts on her part, Walter and Laura have married earlier; and on the death of Frederick Fairlie, their son inherits Limmeridge.

Themes and influences[edit]

The theme of the story is the unequal position of married women in law at the time. Laura Glyde’s interests have been neglected by her uncle and her fortune of £20,000 (then an enormous sum of money) by default falls to her husband on her death. This provides the motive for the conspiracy of her unscrupulous husband and his co-conspirator Fosco. In his later Man and Wife, Collins portrays another victim of the law’s partiality, who takes a terrible revenge on her husband.


The novel was first published in serial form in 1859–60, appearing in Charles Dickens‘ magazine All the Year Round (UK) and Harper’s Weekly (USA). It was published in book form in 1860.[6]

Critical reception[edit]

The novel was extremely successful commercially, but contemporary critics were generally hostile.[6] Modern critics and readers regard it as Collins’ best novel:[6] a view with which Collins concurred, as it is the only one of his novels named in his chosen epitaph: “Author of The Woman in White and other works of fiction”.[7]



Film and television[edit]


Computer games[edit]

  • “Victorian Mysteries: Woman in White” created by FreezeTag Games (2010)


  1. Jump up ^ Wilkie Collins (26 November 1887). “How I Write my Books”. The Globe. 
  2. Jump up ^ “Mr Wilkie Collins in Gloucester Place”. Number 81 in ‘Celebrities at Home’, The World. 26 December 1877. 
  3. Jump up ^ McCrum, Robert (12 October 2003). “100 greatest novels of all time”. London: Guardian. Retrieved 27 October 2012. 
  4. Jump up ^ “BBC – The Big Read”. BBC. April 2003, Retrieved 18 October 2012
  5. Jump up ^ The Woman in White, notes by John Sutherland, ISBN 0-19-283429-0
  6. ^ Jump up to: a b c Symons, Julian (1974). Introduction to “The Woman in White”,. Penguin. 
  7. Jump up ^ Peters, Catherine (1993). The King of Inventors. Princeton University Press. 
  8. Jump up ^ “The Woman in White”. Samuel French Ltd. Retrieved 2 October 2012.

The Woman in White – Original Theatrical Trailer


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Write not to impress others,but to express yourself and inspire others!!!™


This blog is to encourage others that is being victimize, been a victm, or were a victim that they no longer have to live in hidden. I want to share words of encouragement to them and let them know they can come out of their situtaion alive no matter what there abuser is telling or has told them over the years. Some individuals have left their abuser but they are still living in afraid or living in in jail mental; the victim have to get his or her life back. Living behind the wall in public isn't well for them. They have to make a stand for themselves and regain what they lost in that relationship. It will not happen within a week or probably a month. First of all its a learning process, admit to what they lost, and let go of the shame, pride, and bitter. Its up to the victim to want to be a Survior not the abuser.


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