18 Feb 2018 Who are we now?

Hello to you.  It’s 11:45 am on this cool, gray Sunday.  I just wanted to share a positive word.  I feel like I am discovering a way to be useful in this world, and it’s not an easy process but a process just the same – seeking and finding the positive things in people, places and things.   I used to be really good at this – when I was a child of course.  Well thankfully, inside, I still feel my inner child very much alive!  The part of me that our Sam taught me to hold on to – there are no strangers in this world, just family you haven’t met yet.  Not just friends, FAMILY.  Why do I say that?  With my understanding of God as energy.   If everything is energy and everything is God then that makes us all – every single form of life know and unknown – family!

Anyhew.   In my meditation this morning, the message that came forth was about how the past can hang and or trip us up to getting to where we want to go.  I have shared this before here but I will share it again:  “It’s not who we were in the past, it’s who we are now.”  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about the past because Time is our device.  The God of my understanding doesn’t care about what mistakes we’ve made in the past only if we don’t learn from them and intentionally keep repeating them.  If we don’t even try to make amends to those we’ve wronged to include ourselves.

As I sat outside doing this drawing and meditation a thought occurred to me for places we could start making amends – prisons of all kinds, nursing homes, mental health facilities, rehabilitation centers and our churches.  All the places for humans, animals and plants that could be considered cages.  Unconditional love and forgiveness has not been taught or learned by many.  What if we were to work together starting in a place we all share….the heart?  Just a thought…an idea with a positive intention and or motive.


DSC_0549 18 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant morning meditation Alvarado TX


13 Feb 2018 Seek First to Understand

20 April 2017 – I don’t know why but I put these things together. The Prayer of St. Francis is one of my very favorites.

Hello just a quick post.  I wanted to share some thoughts that came to me today.  I had been feeling anxious and my brain was running pretty fast and I’m tired from not sleeping so well the past couple of nights.  So I grabbed my chalks, even though it is cold out (if you dress appropriately the cold isn’t so bad), and these thoughts came to me….specifically the words of one of my favorite prayers.  The part about seeking to understand versus always being understood specifically.  Most of my life I’ve tried to do the understanding part but it’s not always easy.  Sometimes you want others to “get you” to understand why you are the way you are and you can’t tell them the whole story of why because they have their own problems too.   It’s hard to focus on other people’s “stuff” when while they are talking, you are thinking about your own self the whole time….”what’s in this for me?  why should I care?”  It’s hard to be selfless and empathetic and or caring and also take care of, even “protect” yourself from others stuff.  This is where compromise, respect, treating others like you would want to be treated and healthy boundaries and all that good stuff comes into play.

Anyhew – hope something here resonates.  One person can’t fix a mess as big as the one we’ve got here on Earth.  I know I didn’t make all this mess but I did have my part in all of it.  We each have a part in the mess and have to find our way of working towards a loving, peaceful, non-violent solution to it.  It didn’t happen overnight!  The phrase that keeps coming to me, “Trust the Process.”  For me that means having faith in myself and the God of my understanding that there is a plan in all of this.

26 Oct 2017 A Simple Prayer St Francis that belong to Kyles Grandma Pat Hultgren

13 Feb 2018 – what a birthday gift to be able to do this every day. What is Time for?  To make money or make a meaningful life?  What is money without a meaningful life?  We’ve created quite the paradox!


12 Feb 2018 Blue TV Screen (dreams) and Time to make amends

Hello to you.  Just a short note to help me process a couple of dreams that woke me from my sleep.  The first one was scary until after I processed it and went back to bed.

What happened is I dreamt I was in bed and Link was next to me and kept growling like he really does.  Then he was on top of my legs like he was protecting me from something in the room.  There was someone there but I couldn’t see them but Link could.  I got up out of bed and was able to see in the dark.  I was slapping my hands together in front of my face like someone was there trying to get inside me.  I was yelling at “them” to “get out!” over and over again. I chased them to the living room and I saw a blue television screen in the darkness and whoever, whatever was in front of it and just disappeared and the tv shut off.  I woke up yelling and screaming which of course upset Kyle.    This dream was like my life but in a different “configuration.”

What came to me, trying to process this dream and calm myself down, was it was not meant to scare me, it was information.  Recordings are like the Horcruxes  in Harry Potter.  We “choose” who had immortality in this process (tv, movies, books and music).  The energy of our attention (adoration) and the emotions attached to what we watch determines what kind of immortal those recorded will be.  Often conflicted.  This brought forth E=Mc2 from my reading about Albert Einstein’s life.  About how yesterday I came to understand Hiroshima was like splitting God into two parts – turning energy against energy….God against themselves!  What came to me this morning also was remembering about God being a jealous God in the Old Testament,  isn’t jealousy a human emotion?  What I have come to wonder is if Time is God’s way of both punishing and loving us for making mistakes like Hiroshima.  Like them saying to us, “I will give you “time” to make amends.”  I visualized us, this whole earth being like one of God’s snowglobes.   Who else but a God could make Time?  Who else but a jealous man could conceive of it?  I know….out there to think such things but that’s how I think – how things are “alike” more than “unalike.”   It is in this way of thinking I have come to this God of my understanding.

12 Bible results for “Jealous God.” Showing results 1-12.

Suggested result

Exodus 20:5 [Full Chapter]

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

Bible search results

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

He stretched out what looked like a hand and took me by the hair of my head. The Spirit lifted me up between earth and heaven and in visions of God he took me to Jerusalem, to the entrance of the north gate of the inner court, where the idol that provokes to jealousy stood.

[ The Lord’s Anger Against Nineveh ] The Lord is a jealous and avenging God; the Lord takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The Lord takes vengeance on his foes and vents his wrath against his enemies.

New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The second dream was very short but woke me up also because it was so vivid.  It was about being in church or somewhere like it and reading a passage and it being the same frequency as someone else reading it.  Then for the second time I go back and there is a young man with dark hair and eyes with those black horned rimmed glasses who is like a “substitute” for someone else when I come again.  He wants to read with me and just before I begin to read I can hear him whisper  “I love you.”  Then I woke up.



Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity

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Einstein's Theory of General Relativity
Einstein’s theory of general relativity predicted that the space-time around Earth would be not only warped but also twisted by the planet’s rotation. Gravity Probe B showed this to be correct.

Credit: NASA

In 1905, Albert Einstein determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and that the speed of light in a vacuum was independent of the motion of all observers. This was the theory of special relativity. It introduced a new framework for all of physics and proposed new concepts of space and time.

Einstein then spent 10 years trying to include acceleration in the theory and published his theory of general relativity in 1915. In it, he determined that massive objects cause a distortion in space-time, which is felt as gravity.

Two objects exert a force of attraction on one another known as “gravity.” Sir Isaac Newton quantified the gravity between two objects when he formulated his three laws of motion. The force tugging between two bodies depends on how massive each one is and how far apart the two lie. Even as the center of the Earth is pulling you toward it (keeping you firmly lodged on the ground), your center of mass is pulling back at the Earth. But the more massive body barely feels the tug from you, while with your much smaller mass you find yourself firmly rooted thanks to that same force. Yet Newton’s laws assume that gravity is an innate force of an object that can act over a distance.

Albert Einstein, in his theory of special relativity, determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and he showed that the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels. As a result, he found that space and time were interwoven into a single continuum known as space-time. Events that occur at the same time for one observer could occur at different times for another.

As he worked out the equations for his general theory of relativity, Einstein realized that massive objects caused a distortion in space-time. Imagine setting a large body in the center of a trampoline. The body would press down into the fabric, causing it to dimple. A marble rolled around the edge would spiral inward toward the body, pulled in much the same way that the gravity of a planet pulls at rocks in space. [Video: How To See Spacetime Stretch]

Although instruments can neither see nor measure space-time, several of the phenomena predicted by its warping have been confirmed.

Einstein's Cross is an example of gravitational lensing.
Einstein’s Cross is an example of gravitational lensing.

Credit: NASA and European Space Agency (ESA)

Gravitational lensing: Light around a massive object, such as a black hole, is bent, causing it to act as a lens for the things that lie behind it. Astronomers routinely use this method to study stars and galaxies behind massive objects.

Einstein’s Cross, a quasar in the Pegasus constellation, is an excellent example of gravitational lensing. The quasar is about 8 billion light-years from Earth, and sits behind a galaxy that is 400 million light-years away. Four images of the quasar appear around the galaxy because the intense gravity of the galaxy bends the light coming from the quasar.

Gravitational lensing can allow scientists to see some pretty cool things, but until recently, what they spotted around the lens has remained fairly static. However, since the light traveling around the lens takes a different path, each traveling over a different amount of time, scientists were able to observe a supernova occur four different times as it was magnified by a massive galaxy.

In another interesting observation, NASA’s Kepler telescope spotted a dead star, known as a white dwarf, orbiting a red dwarf in a binary system. Although the white dwarf is more massive, it has a far smaller radius than its companion.

“The technique is equivalent to spotting a flea on a light bulb 3,000 miles away, roughly the distance from Los Angeles to New York City,” Avi Shporer of the California Institute of Technology said in a statement.

Changes in the orbit of Mercury: The orbit of Mercury is shifting very gradually over time, due to the curvature of space-time around the massive sun. In a few billion years, it could even collide with Earth.

Frame-dragging of space-time around rotating bodies: The spin of a heavy object, such as Earth, should twist and distort the space-time around it. In 2004, NASA launched the Gravity Probe B GP-B). The precisely calibrated satellite caused the axes of gyroscopes inside to drift very slightly over time, a result that coincided with Einstein’s theory.

“Imagine the Earth as if it were immersed in honey,” Gravity Probe-B principal investigator Francis Everitt, of Stanford University, said in a statement.

“As the planet rotates, the honey around it would swirl, and it’s the same with space and time. GP-B confirmed two of the most profound predictions of Einstein’s universe, having far-reaching implications across astrophysics research.”

Gravitational redshift: The electromagnetic radiation of an object is stretched out slightly inside a gravitational field. Think of the sound waves that emanate from a siren on an emergency vehicle; as the vehicle moves toward an observer, sound waves are compressed, but as it moves away, they are stretched out, or redshifted. Known as the Doppler Effect, the same phenomena occurs with waves of light at all frequencies. In 1959, two physicists, Robert Pound and Glen Rebka, shot gamma-rays of radioactive iron up the side of a tower at Harvard University and found them to be minutely less than their natural frequency due to distortions caused by gravity.

Gravitational waves: Violent events, such as the collision of two black holes, are thought to be able to create ripples in space-time known as gravitational waves. In 2016, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational Wave Observatory (LIGO) announced that it found evidence of these tell-tale indicators.

In 2014, scientists announced that they had detected gravitational waves left over from the Big Bang using the Background Imaging of Cosmic Extragalactic Polarization (BICEP2) telescope in Antarctica. It is thought that such waves are embedded in the cosmic microwave background. However, further research revealed that their data was contaminated by dust in the line of sight.

“Searching for this unique record of the very early universe is as difficult as it is exciting,” Jan Tauber, the European Space Agency’s project scientist for the Planck space mission to search for cosmic waves, said in a statement.

LIGO spotted the first confirmed gravitational wave on September 14, 2015. The pair of instruments, based out of Louisiana and Washington, had recently been upgraded, and were in the process of being calibrated before they went online. The first detection was so large that, according to LIGO spokesperson Gabriela Gonzalez, it took the team several months of analyzation to convince themselves that it was a real signal and not a glitch.

“We were very lucky on the first detection that it was so obvious,” she said during at the 228 American Astronomical Society meeting in June 2016.

A second signal was spotted on December 26 of the same year, and a third candidate was mentioned along with it. While the first two signals are almost definitively astrophysical—Gonzalez said there was less than one part in a million of them being something else—the third candidate has only an 85 percent probability of being a gravitational wave.

Together, the two firm detections provide evidence for pairs of black holes spiraling inward and colliding. As time passes, Gonzalez anticipates that more gravitational waves will be detected by LIGO and other upcoming instruments, such as the one planned by India.

“We can test general relativity, and general relativity has passed the test,” Gonzalez said.

[See our full discovery story here; a video on the find here; and our complete coverage of the historic scientific discovery here]

1028 am – I did some more thinking about the meaning of Einstein’s theory; again, everyone thinking differently may help provide new in-sights.

IMG_3410 12 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant morning meditation about Einstein Theory of Relativity Alvarado TX

10 Feb 2018 We Lead By Our Example

Hello to you.  Last night Kyle and I watched the Olympics Opening Ceremonies and I was brought to tears by the beauty of what I saw and also very disappointed in my country.  My favorite moments included watching The Map to The Stars – it brought tears to my eyes.  It has been so refreshing for Kyle and I to see new faces, hear new stories and learn about a culture that is so intricately woven into our own.  Kyle even recognized the Cardinal Directions.    He used to buy and read Manga and he introduced me to anime which we both now really enjoy.

http://ecumenicalbuddhism.blogspot.com/2010/02/four-symbols-five-cardinal-directions.html – excerpt, recommend if this peaks your curiosity you read this.

The Four Symbols (Chinese: 四象; pinyin: Sì Xiàng) are four mythological creatures in the Chinese constellations. They are:

  • Azure Dragon of the East (青龍)
  • Vermillion Bird of the South (朱雀)
  • White Tiger of the West (白虎)
  • Black Tortoise of the North (玄武)

Each one of them represents a direction and a season of the year, and each has its own individual characteristics and origins. They have been portrayed in many historical Chinese and Korean myths and fiction, and also appear in many modern Japanese comic books and animation.


9 Feb 2018 – My thoughts lead me to the Akashic records. One of my favorite vampire flicks, Queen of the Damned starred Aaliyah who played Akasha…the Mother of all vamps.

The Box, Map to the Stars reference makes sense to me now as it was part of the Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Games to include a man who sat in a box and I was disappointed in his behavior, #2 Mike Pence.  Here was an opportunity for launching a path to peace and our country made choices to the contrary.  This is what conditional love looks like to me.   Progress not perfection though, at least all the “players” were there and willing to be in the same physical vicinity as one another.   It’s not the “body” that matters, it’s the behavior of the energy wearing the body that does.  Actions speak louder than words.    If you want peace in this world, you are going to have to work a lot harder on your behavior to get it.  It’s about behavior when it comes to the quality of our character not our physical appearance or presence.

13 Oct 2016 – It looks like for this particular game, the white piece defeated another white piece….

 Kim Jong-un’s sister Kim Yo-jong showed great courage to me, a woman, trying to lead by her example and at least try to change the course of history.  When I watched her, I had to smile.  She strikes me as someone with a wicked sense of humor.  I know there are “violations” and “wrongs” that have happened but America has lead by it’s example with blood on the streets every day.  How many mass shootings in just these few days of the year in this country.  We are in no position to judge anyone.

Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.


Winter Olympics 2018: Pence skips dinner with N Koreans

US Vice-President Pence (R) was seated near Kim Jong-un's sister Kim Yo-jong (L) at the opening ceremonyImage copyright AFP/Getty Images
Image caption Kim Jong-un’s sister Kim Yo-jong was seated in the row behind US Vice-President Mike Pence at the opening ceremony

US Vice-President Mike Pence has skipped a dinner at which he was due to share a table with North Korea’s ceremonial head of state Kim Yong-nam.

Mr Pence briefly encountered Mr Kim but they tried to avoid directly facing each other, Yonhap news agency reports.

Later South Korean President Moon Jae-in shook hands with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un’s sister, Kim Yo-jong, at the Winter Olympics opening ceremony.

The Games are taking place amid tension over North Korea’s nuclear programme.

Mr Yong-nam did briefly meet with United Nations Secretary-General Antonio Guterres at the dinner. According to a UN spokesperson, Mr Guterres reiterated a hope for “peaceful denuclearisation” on the peninsula.

What happened at the dinner?

Mr Pence and Kim Yong-nam were being hosted by President Moon before the opening ceremony in Pyeongchang.

But the US vice-president left the reception venue after five minutes, South Korea’s Yonhap said.

While Mr Moon and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe both shook hands with Mr Kim, Mr Pence did not, South Korean officials said.

Media playback is unsupported on your device

What we’ve seen of Kim Yo-jong from North Korean media

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Media captionWhat we’ve seen of Kim Yo-jong from North Korean media

At the event Mr Moon said he hoped the Winter Olympics would be remembered as the “day peace began”. He is due to meet the North Korean delegation for talks on Saturday according to Yonhap.

At the opening ceremony, Mr Pence, Kim Yo-jong and Kim Yong-nam were seated in close proximity to each other.

Mr Pence has brought to South Korea as a guest Fred Warmbier, the father of a young American who died after being released from prison in North Korea.

Who is Kim Yo-jong?

The highest profile member of the North Korean delegation to the Games, she is the first immediate member of the North’s ruling family to visit the South since the 1950-1953 Korean war.

Ms Kim, who is said to be very close to her brother, was promoted to the North’s powerful politburo last year.

She is on a US sanctions list over alleged links to human rights abuses in North Korea.

Ms Kim is thought to be about 30 years old, around four years younger than her brother.

Ms Kim (C) shook hands with Mr Moon at the opening ceremonyImage copyright Reuters
Image caption North Korea’s Ms Kim shook hands with South Korea’s Mr Moon at the opening ceremony

Her visit is being seen as a sign that Kim Jong-un is serious about improving ties with the South, the BBC’s South Korea correspondent Laura Bicker reports.

She adds that some are also speculating that Ms Kim might be bringing a message from her brother.

How will the Koreas compete at the Games?

Athletes from both North and South Korea marched under one flag at the opening ceremony, bringing spectators to their feet.

They are also fielding a joint women’s ice hockey team.

Alongside 22 athletes, Pyongyang has sent more than 400 delegates to the Games, including a team of cheerleaders and an orchestra.

North and South Korean athletes marched under one flag at the opening ceremonyImage copyright AFP/Getty
Image caption North and South Korean athletes marched under one flag at the opening ceremony

However the opening ceremony was not shown on North Korean state TV, which was broadcasting patriotic songs and slogans celebrating industry and the armed forces.

Have relations warmed?

Experts have cautioned that the current burst of sports diplomacy does not put an end to underlying regional tensions.

On Thursday North Korea had held a military parade that was originally scheduled for April but was brought forward.

Nevertheless, 2018 has got the countries off on an improved footing.

Kim Jong-un surprised many in his televised new-year speech, when – amid threats against the US – he expressed support for the Winter Olympics and a wish to “melt the frozen North-South relations”.

The South had already said the North would be welcome to send a delegation, but few believed it would happen.

Later in January, a communications hotline was reinstated between the two countries, whose authorities then met for the first high-level talks in two years.

The Korean peninsula has been divided since the 1950-53 war and the two sides have never signed a peace treaty.

9 Feb 2018 Love and Abandonment (Morning meditation)

9 Feb 2018 /1019 am

I was outside preparing to do some “chalking” when a revelation about connection between “wisdom,” Why of Life and Death and Tree of Life came. It was instigated by my finding seeds that blew down from cotton tree to my hoodie. My good friend the cotton tree helping me again. What came brought forth a lot of tears. If I (we as a species) had remained ignorant, didn’t need to find out why (curiosity) I (we) wouldn’t know or care about living and dying. Sentience and consciousness, “awareness” would never have happened and may be we would have been happier — “Ignorance is Bliss” philosophy.

17 May 2017 – Cottonwood seed ships

Love changed everything because with love comes “attachment.” Something I learned more about through Buddhism’s the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path. When you lose something or someone you love more than “existence” you will tear heaven and earth apart to find it, reclaim it. What I was willing to do at Mesa Springs when I didn’t know where Kyle was. What happened to me for 3 years after we lost our Sammy.

Source Internet: Seed of Life. I loved that this is made in stained glass with chakra colors.

Abandonment creates some of the largest energy vortexes, human black holes. It can be “perceived” or intentional abandonment but the abandoned feel it all the same. Why?!Where did you go?! When are you coming back?! Will you come back?!

(My mother, my Grandparents….all those I’ve loved and lost for whatever reason. I had to grieve and heal — fill the holes their “abandonment of me” left behind.

All of us have lost people, places and things through our shared journey. Are we so attached to these that we are willing to destroy ourselves and a planet to retrieve them? This is just what I see for myself. I hope there is something in this morning meditation that resonates with you….is helpful. I would ask you, what positive, loving aspect of existence can you put in the “holes” some sort of abandonment has made in your mind, body and most importantly your soul?

What do I do? All through my blogs here is what I’ve learned to do for myself with unseen guidance and loving nudges from the tangible elements that surround me. The arts, meaningful work, chores, spirituality, helping others and educating myself about people, places and things I don’t understand before making judgements about them. It is in the latter I have come to realize I can judge no one nor is there anyone on this earth who can either. We are all imperfect and it is in that imperfection we are amazing creations capable of greatness beyond our wildest dreams. We are here for each other. No one person can fix this shared mess our world has become. We must learn to build bridges instead of more walls.

17-feb-2011-my-puppy-sammy-and-his-tennis-ball (Sammy crossed the rainbow bridge 27 April 2011)

My Mom Jeanne and my Grandpa Harold (Hal) Becker on her wedding day, 21 Nov 1965.

8 Feb 2018 Dr. Wilhelm Reich books The Cancer biopathy and Function of the Orgasm Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Jackie Wygant Blue Book for Alcoholics Anonymous Alvarado TX meditation about addiction like sugar etc

8 Feb 2018 Two books from Grandma Becker and Aunt Ruth to help me heal inside when I was younger I read from How to Be your own best friend out loud Alvarado TX

8 Feb 2018 Morphing through Time (Enigma)

8 Feb 2018 – sketch I did this morning. He looks like a composite of all the men I have loved and or admired through my life all in one. I did a numbers thing with my name Jacqueline and Kyles today. My name’s letters added up was 106 and Kyle’s 53. I thought that was so beautiful that he would be the other part of me like that!

Morphing Thru Time


Earth. A biosphere.
A complex,
Subtly balanced life support system.

Et turtur nidum,
Ubi reponat pullos suos
Altaria tua Domine virtutum,
Rex meus, et Deus meus
(and the turtledove a nest
Where it might place its young
Your altar of strengths, Lord,
My king and my God,)

We are floating over the line
Let us follow our mind
All of our life we’ll wait for the answer
And the question is why

If we’re following our mind
We can glide into light
No one knows if there’ll be an answer
While we’re morphing through time

We are floating over the line
Let us follow our mind
All of our life we’ll wait for the answer
And the question is why

Enigma – Morphing thru time (with lyrics)

Someone I didn’t know before that I heard for the first time today:

Geraldine Farrar – Kreisler: Star of Love


Alice Geraldine Farrar[1] (February 28, 1882 – March 11, 1967) was an American soprano opera singer and film actress, noted for her beauty, acting ability, and “the intimate timbre of her voice.”[2] She had a large following among young women, who were nicknamed “Gerry-flappers”.[3][4]

8 Feb 2018 – books Kyle and I picked up at Half Price Books today.

8 Feb 2018 Refilling Energy Voids

This morning I woke up thinking about friends of mine who have had weight loss surgery. I’ve had three friends undergo this sort of procedure and the recovery process has been unique for all three of them. Now the reason I got to thinking about this was because it’s on the a train of thought I’ve been on about energy vampirism and energy consumption.

I have been frustrated with one of my friends in particular because it feels like since she had the surgery, she’s been grasping about for something to refill the energy void left behind by not being a to eat food like she used to. Well, a flag went up in myself the past couple of days. Why am I so frustrated with her? I’m looking in the mirror at a past reflection that’s why! I learned this from Shakti Gawain’s books many years ago. Usually if we don’t like someone for whatever reason, it means there is something about ourselves that we recognize in them that we don’t like. It may be we’ve moved past whatever the person is reflecting to us or we are still working through it and the person is an “ugly” reminder of what we have yet been unable to change about yourself.

What I have found myself saying in regards to the friend I’m thinking of is a quote from a movie put into a song by Velvet Acid Christ: “Did you hear it?” “It shows you things, horrible things.” “The dark inside me, from the other place… I won’t go back there, I won’t.”

The Dark Inside Me

BUT…..if others had not “fed” me when I was growing up, I see everyday in the news and through history just the sort of human being, “monster”, I could have become. As I reflect on my younger years, there were times when I was a real pain in the ass to be around. I was negative, judgmental, draining, ignorant, willful and extremely unhappy. I didn’t know how to “feed myself” (soothe myself.) Religion alone did not help me, it was specific people that were part of of my life that helped me. When I was younger I used to be fascinated with monsters real and imagined and I think part of that was my quest to try and understand what the hell was going on with me! Why was I so different?!

I realized my fascination with Dracula had an origin story in the Catholic Church ritual, Communion, “The Last Supper.” “Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood.” I can remember as a little girl truly thinking about what those words meant and I made myself break out into a sweat and nearly black out right as I knelt in a church service! If you were to take those words literally it was like cannibalism or vampirism…..consuming God! Dracula at the pulpit!  What does one do to fill the “void” the absence of a healthy relationship (to include sexual partner) provides when you are a priest?

I drew this man 11 Oct 2012 – as I drew him he morphed and at one point looked a lot like JRM which was funny as I had just found out JRM was going to portray Dracula

What I have learned from my own experience with this is when you lose something like innocence or someone significant to you like my mother committing suicide when I was barely a year old, a great energy void was created….had to be filled. I spent many years trying to put people, places, pets, “shiny things” things (which became addictions in some cases) ..anything that gave me even a fleeting glimpse of happiness into the void my mother’s death left in me. I learned the hard way that there is nothing on this earth that can fill such a void but God.

The God I understood and was taught about growing up came from churches and books. I grasped about into the New Age scene, Holistic type remedies, art, photography, work, sex, marriage, pet ownership, helping others through community service and still I didn’t truly know who God was for me. Then came that day a couple of years ago since we moved here to Texas , when my Dad and I were sitting on my back porch, and we agreed on something for the first time in a long time…..”God is in everything.”

It was kind of an “A-ha” spiritual moment for me. I have always felt like a huge part of my Dad was unknown to me because of what happened with my Mom. Here was something we both agreed on and a seed was planted in me.

30 Aug 2012 Jackie Drawing – when Dad first met Spot

When our cocker spaniel Sammy died in 2011 was another big whammy for both Kyle and I. For me, losing Sam was like losing a child and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had. I can remember going out to the field down the street, my “blooming field” before it became houses, and screaming in 100 degree heat at God, “BRING HIM BACK!” Just wandering everywhere looking for him, imagining he was walking with me. There was only ever going to be just one Sam and I had to find a way to live without him. I had to save myself.

Back in April 2014 I was walking in the field down the street from our house before it became houses and found half of an Choctaw Indian Christmas ornament and later found the other half at the entrance to our neighborhood! I thought it was a sign my friend Erin who is part Choctaw was having a son but we got three puppies….Link…instead. In a way it was like God answering my pleas to bring my Sammy back!

Everything is energy, everything is a sort of “food.” This is emotions, things, people, animals and nature. All of these elements consciously or subconsciously feed us energy in some way. Human beings can become “black holes” if left unchecked. A human black hole will devour anything and anyone in it’s path….negative energy vampire so to speak. Negative energy is better than not being fed and there are people, very visible people on our world stage, that model this sort of behavior for us and it may not even be a conscious effort on their part….it’s just who they are now.

We have built a society that teaches us to seek people, places and things to fill the void only God energy can fill. Well if everything is God then what to “eat?” Our diet is not just about what tangible foods we put into ourselves. Our diet is not about what celebrity’s image and spirit we can devour until we grow bored and move on. Our diet is not about the latest video game we devour until the next patch of “crack” comes out. Our diet is not supposed to be the latest electronic gadget or phone but it has become that and we are unfufilled…restless…addicted….bored and grasping about for sustainable food that just isn’t there! Do you get the idea? What are you “eating” you stay “full?”

Something else came to me from the Horror genre….the phrase that is always the worst thing to say in a horror movie, “I’ll be right back.” They never come back. After all these thousands of years of waiting for Jesus to come back he hasn’t…..or has “he?” Is God deaf to our cries? No. It’s like with our Sam. I begged God to send me Sammy back and then came Link! Three years we waited…Link was one of three boys. It was like God saying I will even let you choose! God heard me and I believe sent us Link to heal my heart but not to save me…to help me heal myself. Kyle and I had to learn to “feed ourselves” and not rely on Sammy. There is a reason dog spelled backwards is God!

Look in the mirror people. Who is there and do you love that person without condition? What are you “feeding” that person? There is nothing of this world that can fill the energy voids pain, suffering, loss and change create but God. Who is the God of your understanding? Does this God love you and all the world without condition?  Learn to “feed yourself! without “feeding” off of others or using artificial God’s. 

I know this is a lot but it’s what I was lead to write this morning. I’m not trying to change you or tell you what you should do or what you should believe and definitely not judging you. I’m just trying to help you help yourselves by sharing my experience, strength and Hope.

I hope something here resonates with you and if it does, pass it on in your way. We are all two-way or transistor radio’s in a way – sending and receiving signals.

Audioslave – Show Me How to Live

Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live …
And with the early dawn
Moving right along
I couldn’t buy and eyeful of sleep
And in the aching night under satellites
I was not received
Built with stolen parts
A telephone in my heart
Someone get me a priest
To put my mind to bed
This ringing in my head
Is this a cure or is this a disease
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
And in the after birth
On the quiet earth
Let the stains remind you
You thought you made a man
You better think again
Before my role defines you
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
And in your waiting hands
I will land
And roll out of my skin
And in your final hours I will stand
Ready to begin
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Nail in my hand
From my creator
You gave me life
Now show me how to live
Show me how to live
Songwriters: Brad Wilk / Chris Cornell / Timothy Commerford / Tom Morello
Show Me How to Live lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

6 Feb 2018 13 Steps (Drawing) and Natures Voracious Appetite

6 Feb 2018 – Drawing this evening I titled, “13 Steps.”

A couple of interesting stories that came up that might be interesting to you also.  The tick story brought to mind the energy vampire stuff I shared yesterday and a memory from my childhood today.  My stepmother’s sister used to babysit me in the summer when I was real young.   I remember being sick while staying with her.  I was laying on the couch and remember finding a large bump on the top of my head.  Well I kept picking at it and it actually came off, was squishy….was alive!  I am pretty sure it was a tick and I don’t know how long it had been on my head!  Wild right?!  Then, the spider story made me think of a weird bite that showed on my foot last year and it didn’t heal for a long time – two holes like a spider bite.  I have a scar like all the times after fire ants have bitten me.  I’ve always been a buffet for insects….mostly mosquitos.  I can remember a picture of me as a little girl wearing a fur coat costume and my legs were just covered in welts from mosquito bites.  Nature has a voracious appetite from insects we cannot see to those beings we can.  Just like us, they will do anything necessary to survive. 


Science & Environment

Dracula ticks in amber tell ancient blood-sucking tale

Amber fossilsImage copyright NAture Communications/E Penalver
Image caption The tick is stuck on to a dinosaur feather

Feathered dinosaurs were covered in ticks just like modern animals, fossil evidence shows.

Parasites similar to modern ticks have been found inside pieces of amber from Myanmar dating back 99 million years.

One is entangled with a dinosaur feather, another is swollen with blood, and two were in a dinosaur nest.

Scientists say the discovery, which has echoes of Jurassic Park, is the first direct fossil evidence that ticks fed on the blood of dinosaurs.

The research is published in the journal, Nature Communications.

”Ticks parasitised feathered dinosaurs; now we have direct evidence of it,” co-researcher Dr Ricardo Pérez-de la Fuente of the Oxford University Museum of Natural History told BBC News.

”This paper represents a very good example of the kind of detailed information that can be extracted from amber fossils.”

Dracula’s tick

Amber is fossilised tree resin. The sticky substance can trap skin, scales, fur, feathers or even whole creatures, such as ticks.

In this case, the researchers found a type of tick, now extinct, that is new to science. They named it, Deinocroton draculi or “Dracula’s terrible tick”.

A modern-day tick from SpainImage copyright E Penalver
Image caption A modern-day tick from Spain

“Ticks are infamous blood-sucking, parasitic organisms, having a tremendous impact on the health of humans, livestock, pets, and even wildlife, but until now clear evidence of their role in deep time has been lacking,” said Enrique Peñalver from the Spanish Geological Survey (IGME), the lead researcher on the study.

The fossils in amber may echo the fictional world of Jurassic Park, but they will not give up the secrets of dinosaur DNA.

All attempts to extract DNA from amber specimens have failed since the complex molecule is too fragile to be preserved.

However, the fossils do give a snapshot of the lives of the feathered dinosaurs, some of which evolved into modern-day birds.

Amber fossilsImage copyright E Penalver et al
Image caption The fossils hail from Myanmar

“The fossil record tells us that feathers like the one we have studied were already present on a wide range of theropod dinosaurs, a group which included ground-running forms without flying ability, as well as bird-like dinosaurs capable of powered flight,” said Dr Pérez-de la Fuente.

“So although we can’t be sure what kind of dinosaur the tick was feeding on, the mid-Cretaceous age of the Burmese amber confirms that the feather certainly did not belong to a modern bird, as these appeared much later in theropod evolution according to current fossil and molecular evidence.”

Extraordinary find

The researchers found further evidence of ticks riling dinosaurs. Hair-like structures from skin beetles found attached to two of the ticks suggest they lived in the nests of feathered dinosaurs, along with the beetles.

“The simultaneous entrapment of two external parasites – the ticks – is extraordinary, and can be best explained if they had a nest-inhabiting ecology as some modern ticks do, living in the host’s nest or in their own nest nearby,” said Dr David Grimaldi of the American Museum of Natural History, who worked on the study.

Together, these findings suggest that ticks have been sucking the blood of dinosaurs for almost 100 million years.

After dinosaurs died out in the mass extinction 66 million years ago, ticks clung on and continued to thrive.

Ticks are closely related to spiders, scorpions and mites. They feed on animals and can pass diseases on to people, pets, wildlife and livestock.

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‘Extraordinary’ fossil sheds light on origins of spiders

ArachnidImage copyright Bo Wang
Image caption The arachnid – resembling a spider with a tail – lived about 100 million years ago

An “extraordinary” spider “cousin” trapped in amber for 100 million years is shaking up ideas about the origins of spiders.

The ancient creature had a tail, unlike its modern relatives.

It belongs to a group of arachnids (spiders, scorpions and the like) that were related to true spiders.

Researchers say it’s possible – but unlikely – that the animal might still be alive today in the rainforests of southeast Asia.

The creature’s remote habitat and small size makes it possible that tailed descendants could still be living in Myanmar, where the fossils were found, said Dr Paul Selden of the University of Kansas.

 “We haven’t found them, but some of these forests aren’t that well-studied, and it’s only a tiny creature,” he said.

Fossil treasure trove

Myanmar has yielded a treasure trove of discoveries of skin, scales, fur, feathers and even ticks preserved in fossilised tree resin.

Dracula ticks tell blood-sucking tale

This find dates back to the Cretaceous period, when dinosaurs like T. rex walked the Earth. The arachnid has an unusual mixture of ancient and modern features.

Scientists have named it Chimerarachne yingi, after the Greek mythological Chimera, a hybrid creature composed of the parts of more than one animal.

“We have known for a decade or so that spiders evolved from arachnids that had tails, more than 315 million years ago,” said Dr Russell Garwood of The University of Manchester, a co-researcher on the study.

“We’ve not found fossils before that showed this, and so finding this now was a huge (but really fantastic) surprise.”

ArachnidImage copyright Bo Wang
Image caption The tiny arachnid resembles a spider in having fangs and silk-producing spinnerets at its rear

Four specimens of the tiny spider have been found. The scientists think it lived on or around tree trunks, perhaps under bark or in the moss at the foot of a tree.

It was capable of producing silk using its spinnerets, but was unlikely to have woven webs. And it’s not known what the tail would have been used for or if the spider was venomous.

Commenting on the research, Dr Ricardo Perez-De-La Fuente, of the Oxford Museum of Natural History, said the “amazing fossils” will be important in deciphering the puzzle of the evolution of spiders and allied groups.

Chimerarachne fills the gap between Palaeozoic arachnids with tails known from rocks (uraraneids) and true spiders, and the fact the new fossils have been wonderfully preserved in Burmese amber has allowed an unmatched detail of study,” he said.

“There are many surprises still waiting to be unearthed in the fossil record. Like most unexpected findings in palaeontology it probably brings more questions than answers, but questions are what keep things exciting and push the boundaries of science.”

ArachnidImage copyright Bo Wang
Image caption The arachnid has a long tail-like appendage that we see today in scorpions

Spiders as a group date back to more than 300 million years ago. Chimerarachne shared a common ancestor with the true spiders and resembles a member of the most primitive group of modern living spiders, the mesotheles, which are found today only in China, Japan, and Southeast Asia.

“It must have lived for about 200 million years side-by-side with spiders, but we’ve never found a fossil of one of these [before] that’s younger than 295 million years,” said Dr Garwood, from Manchester’s School of Earth and Environmental Sciences.

Spiders are one of the success stories of the natural world, with more than 47,000 living species.

Over hundreds of millions of years they have evolved several unique features, including spinnerets and venom for immobilising prey.

The research is published in Nature Ecology & Evolution as two separate papers. One paper, led by Bo Wang from the Chinese Academy of Sciences, described two specimens. The other, led by Gonzalo Giribet of Harvard University, presents two more fossil arachnids.

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A Perfect Circle – Weak and Powerless

6 Feb 2018 Messy – final phase of painting #3

Hello to you.  How are you where and when you are?  It’s cold and gray here today….an inside day.  I decided to finish the painting I’ve been working on.  To some, it may look unappealing, “Messy” and “Unpolished”, like the title I gave it….my name…Jackie.  “Beauty” is definitely in the eye of the beholder!  I will be seeing my friend soon who gave me the financial support to be able to afford paints and canvas to do these.  She will be given an opportunity to choose a painting – my gratitude to her for helping me with this endeavor.  I am not sure if after the paints are gone if I will buy more.  There is a guilt I feel about this – not an eco-friendly hobby painting.  If I were to continue, Kyle and I talked about this, I would need a village lol.  Someone(s) to make canvas from scratch and Someone(s) to make paint like they used to.  There is so much that is involved for the things we use each day without even thinking about the origin of them…”where things come from” and “how they are made.”  What is the ultimate “cost” of our works, hobbies and crafts to the environment?   Are our shared activities “sustainable?”   I guess I needed a reminder.  It’s all very complicated and “Messy.” 

6 Feb 2018 – final phase of the painting and it’s messy and unpolished just like me…the title of this painting is “Jackie.”

And so the Diary ends ……. — Suffragette Diary – Reblog

……… with this poem Life and Death Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. * In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced or cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, […]

via And so the Diary ends ……. — Suffragette Diary

My friend Sally, from the WordPress blog My Beautiful Things, found a Suffragette’s Diary in her father’s papers and has transcribed it.  I had never read this poem before.  I have found it more powerful than the coffee I’m drinking to wake up this morning! Hope you find this the same and will check out the rest of the diary – important piece of history.

https://suffragettediary.wordpress.com/ – main page

Suffragette Diary

On July 11th 2009, while sorting some of my late Father’s papers, I came across an envelope marked Suffragette’s Diary and I began to read. Serendipity indeed – the entries began on July 12th 1909, almost exactly one hundred years ago to the day I discovered it.

What follows is a transcript of the Diary, written by an unknown Suffragette, who was imprisoned in Holloway , along with a number of other window breakers  I have tried to track her down as the last post will explain. What follows is the diary, day by day as written by our Suffragette.

As my Great Grandmother, Mrs Wiseman, was a Suffragette and also imprisoned in Holloway, I have a particular interest. My Great Granny’s name can be found here in the Roll of Honour of Suffragette Prisoners 1905 – 1014

What was a Suffragette?


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Annie Kenney and Christabel Pankhurst used violent tactics in Britain as members of the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU)

Suffragettes were members of women’s organizations in the late-19th and early-20th centuries which advocated the extension of the “franchise“, or the right to vote in public elections, to women. It particularly refers to militants in the United Kingdom such as members of the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU). Suffragist is a more general term for members of the suffrage movement, particularly those advocating Women’s suffrage.

The term suffragette is particularly associated with activists in the British WSPU, led by Emmeline Pankhurst, who were influenced by Russian methods of protest such as hunger strikes. Although the Isle of Man had enfranchised women who owned property to vote in parliamentary (Tynwald) elections in 1881, New Zealand was the first self-governing country to grant all women the right to vote in 1893 when women over the age of 21 were permitted to vote in parliamentary elections.[1] Women in South Australia achieved the same right and became the first to obtain the right to stand for parliament in 1895.[2] In the United States, white women over the age of 21 were allowed to vote in the western territories of Wyoming from 1869 and in Utah from 1870. But by 1903 women in Britain had still not been enfranchised, and Pankhurst had decided the movement would have to become radical and militant if it was going to be effective. The campaign became increasingly bitter, with property damage and hunger strikes being countered by the authorities with jailing and force-feeding, until it was suspended due to the outbreak of war in 1914.

Women in Britain over the age of 30, meeting certain property qualifications, were given the right to vote in 1918, and in 1928 suffrage was extended to all women over the age of 21.[3] Opinion amongst historians today is divided as to whether the militant tactics of the suffragettes helped or hindered their cause.


British suffragettes were mostly women from upper- and middle-class backgrounds, frustrated by their social and economic situation. Their struggles for change within society, along with the work of such advocates for women’s rights as John Stuart Mill, were enough to spearhead a movement that would encompass mass groups of women fighting for suffrage. Mill introduced the idea of women’s suffrage on the platform he presented to the British electorate in 1865.[4] He was subsequently joined by numerous men and women fighting for the same cause.

The term “suffragette” was first used as a term of derision by the journalist Charles E. Hands in the London Daily Mail to describe activists in the movement for women’s suffrage, in particular members of the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU).[5] But the women he intended to ridicule embraced the term, saying “suffraGETtes” (hardening the g) implied not only that they wanted the vote, but that they intended to get it.[6]

The National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies, founded in 1897, was formed from local suffrage societies. The union was led by Millicent Fawcett, who believed in constitutional campaigning, issuing leaflets, organising meetings and presenting petitions but the campaign had little effect. In 1903 Emmeline Pankhurst founded a new organisation, the Women’s Social and Political Union. She thought the movement would have to become radical and militant if it was going to be effective. The Daily Mail gave them the name “Suffragettes”.[7]

Some radical techniques used by the suffragettes, especially hunger strikes, were learned from Russian exiles from tsarism who had escaped to England.[8] Many suffragists at the time, and some historians since, have argued that the actions of the militant suffragettes damaged their cause.[9] Opponents at the time saw evidence that women were too emotional and could not think as logically as men.[10][11][12][13][14]

Early 20th century in the UK[edit]

Memorial edition of The Suffragette newspaper dedicated to Emily Davison

From 1909, the “Pank-A-Squith” board game was sold by the WSPU to raise awareness of their campaign and raise money. The name is derived from “Pankhurst”, the surname of the leaders of the WSPU, and Asquith, the surname of the Prime Minister at the time and a largely hated figure by the movement. The board game is set out in a spiral, and players must lead their suffragette figure from their home to parliament, past the obstacles faced from Prime Minister H. H. Asquith and the Liberal government. The People’s History Museum in Manchester has a “Pank-A-Squith” board game on display in the main galleries and replica version for visitors to play.[15]

7 October 1913 edition of The Suffragette

Also in 1909, suffragettes Solomon and McLellan tried an innovative method of potentially obtaining a meeting with Asquith -by sending themselves by Royal Mail courier post. However Downing street was unwilling to accept the parcel.[16]

1912 was a turning point for the British suffragettes as they turned to using more militant tactics, chaining themselves to railings, setting fire to post box contents, smashing windows and occasionally detonating bombs.[17] In 1914, at least seven churches were bombed or set on fire across the United Kingdom, including an explosion in Westminster Abbey aimed at destroying the 700-year-old Coronation Chair, which despite its proximity to the bomb, survived with only minor damage.[18]

One suffragette, Emily Davison, died under the King‘s horse Anmer at The Derby on 4 June 1913. It is debated whether she was trying to pin a “Votes for Women” banner on the King’s horse or not.[19] Many of her fellow suffragettes were imprisoned and refused food as a scare tactic against the government. The Liberal government of the day led by Asquith responded with the Cat and Mouse Act. Another prominent British suffragette, Sophia Duleep Singh, was almost forgotten for 70 years.[20]


Emmeline Pankhurst was the most prominent of Britain’s suffragettes.

In the early-20th century until the First World War, approximately one thousand suffragettes were imprisoned in Britain.[21] Most early incarcerations were for public order offences and failure to pay outstanding fines. The first suffragettes to be imprisoned were Christabel Pankhurst (daughter of Emmeline Pankhurst) and Annie Kenney in October 1905.[22] While incarcerated, suffragettes lobbied to be considered political prisoners; with such a designation, suffragettes would be placed in the First Division as opposed to the Second or Third Division of the prison system, and as political prisoners would be granted certain freedoms and liberties not allotted to other prison divisions, such as being allowed frequent visits and being allowed to write books or articles.[23] Because of a lack of consistency between the different courts, suffragettes would not necessarily be placed in the First Division and could be placed in Second or Third Division, which enjoyed fewer liberties.

This cause was taken up by the Women’s Social and Political Union (WSPU), a large organisation in Britain, that lobbied for women’s suffrage led by militant suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst.[24] The WSPU campaigned to get imprisoned suffragettes recognised as political prisoners. However, this campaign was largely unsuccessful. Citing a fear that the suffragettes becoming political prisoners would make for easy martyrdom,[25] and with thoughts from the courts and the Home Office that they were abusing the freedoms of First Division to further the agenda of the WSPU,[22] suffragettes were placed in Second Division, and in some cases the Third Division, in prisons with no special privileges granted to them as a result.[26]

Arson, property damage and domestic terrorism[edit]

Throughout the woman’s suffrage movement, many tactics were employed in order to achieve the goals of the movement. Throughout Britain, the contents of hundreds of letter boxes were set alight or corrosive acids or liquids poured over the letters and postcards inside, and thousands of shop and office windows were smashed with hammers. Telephone wires were cut, and graffiti slogans began appearing on the streets. Places that wealthy people, typically men, frequented were also burnt and destroyed, including cricket pitches, golf courses and horse racing tracks. Pinfold Manor in Surrey, which was being built for Lloyd-George, was targeted with two bombs on 19/2/13, only one of which exploded, causing significant damage. (In her memoirs, Sylvia Pankhurst claimed that Emily Davison carried out the attack.) There were 250 arson or destruction attacks in a six month period in 1913. Reports exist in the Parliamentary Papers, which includes lists of the ‘incendiary devices’, explosions, artwork destruction (including an axe attack upon a painting of The Duke of Wellington in the National Gallery), arson attacks, window-breaking, post box burning and telegraph cable breaking that occurred during the most militant years from 1910-1914.

Hunger strikes[edit]

Suffragettes were not recognised as political prisoners and many of them staged hunger strikes while they were imprisoned. The first woman to refuse food was Marion Wallace Dunlop, a militant suffragette who was sentenced to a month in Holloway for vandalism in July 1909.[27] Without consulting suffragette leaders such as Pankhurst,[28] Dunlop refused food in protest at being denied political prisoner status. After a 91-hour hunger strike, and for fear of her becoming a martyr,[28] the Home Secretary Herbert Gladstone decided to release her early on medical grounds.[22] Dunlop’s strategy was adopted by other suffragettes who were incarcerated.[29] It became common practice for suffragettes to refuse food in protest for not being designated as political prisoners, and as a result they would be released after a few days and could return to the “fighting line”.[30]

After a public backlash regarding the prison status of suffragettes, the rules of the divisions were amended. In March 1910, Rule 243A was introduced by the Home Secretary Winston Churchill, allowing prisoners in Second and Third Divisions to be allowed certain privileges of the First Division, provided they were not convicted of a serious offence, effectively ending hunger strikes for two years.[31] Hunger strikes began again when Pankhurst was transferred from the Second Division to the First Division, inciting the other suffragettes to demonstrate regarding their prison status.[32]

Militant suffragette demonstrations subsequently became more aggressive,[22] and the British Government took action. Unwilling to release all the suffragettes refusing food in prison,[29] in the autumn of 1909, the authorities began to adopt more drastic measures to manage the hunger-strikers.


Poster by “A Patriot”, showing a suffragette prisoner being force-fed, 1910.

In September 1909, the Home Office became unwilling to release hunger-striking suffragettes before their sentence was served.[30] Suffragettes became a liability because if they were to die in custody, the prison would be responsible for their death. Prisons began the practice of force-feeding the hunger strikers through a tube, most commonly via a nostril or stomach tube or a stomach pump.[29] Force-feeding had previously been practised in Britain but its use had been exclusively for patients in hospitals who were too unwell to eat or swallow food. Despite the practice being deemed safe by medical practitioners for sick patients, it posed health issues for the healthy suffragettes.[28]

Memories of Winson Green September 18, 1909; Illustration from Mabel Cappers WSPU prisoners scrapbook

The process of tube-feeding was strenuous without the consent of the hunger strikers, who were typically strapped down and force-fed via stomach or nostril tube, often with a considerable amount of force.[33] The process was painful and after the practice was observed and studied by several physicians, it was deemed to cause both short-term damage to the circulatory system, digestive system and nervous system and long-term damage to the physical and mental health of the suffragettes.[34] Some suffragettes who were force-fed developed pleurisy or pneumonia as a result of a misplaced tube.[35]


In April 1913, Reginald McKenna of the Home Office passed the Prisoners (Temporary Discharge for Ill Health) Act 1913, or the Cat and Mouse Act as it was commonly known. The act made the hunger strikes legal, in that a suffragette would be temporarily released from prison when their health began to diminish, only to be readmitted when she regained her health to finish her sentence.[33] The act enabled the British Government to be absolved of any blame resulting from death or harm due to the self-starvation of the striker and ensured that the suffragettes would be too ill and too weak to participate in demonstrative activities while not in custody.[29] Most women continued hunger striking when they were readmitted to prison following their leave.[36] After the Act was introduced, force-feeding on a large scale was stopped and only women convicted of more serious crimes and considered likely to repeat their offences if released were force-fed.[37]

The Bodyguard[edit]

In early 1913 and in response to the “Cat and Mouse Act”, the WSPU instituted a society of women known as the “Bodyguard” whose role was to physically protect Emmeline Pankhurst and other prominent suffragettes from arrest and assault. Known members included Katherine Willoughby Marshall and Gertrude Harding; Edith Margaret Garrud was their jujutsu trainer. Members of the “Bodyguard” participated in several violent actions against the police in defence of their leaders.[38]

The origin of the “Bodyguard” can be traced to a WSPU meeting at which Garrud spoke. As suffragettes speaking in public increasingly found themselves the target of violence and attempted assaults, teaching jujitsu was a way for women to defend themselves against angry hecklers.[39] Incidents including Black Friday, at which 200 suffragettes were assaulted by police, served to illustrate the need for militant women to be able to defend themselves against male violence.

World War[edit]

At the commencement of the First World War, the suffragette movement in Britain moved away from suffrage activities and focused their efforts on the war effort, and as a result, hunger strikes largely stopped.[40] In August 1914, the British Government released all prisoners who had been incarcerated for suffrage activities on an amnesty,[41] with Pankhurst ending all militant suffrage activities soon after.[42] The suffragettes’ focus on war work turned public opinion in favour of their eventual partial enfranchisement in 1918.[43]

Women eagerly volunteered to take on many traditional male roles – leading to a new view of what women were capable of. The war also caused a split in the British suffragette movement; the mainstream, represented by Emmeline and Christabel Pankhurst’s WSPU calling a ceasefire in their campaign for the duration of the war, while more radical suffragettes, represented by Sylvia Pankhurst‘s Women’s Suffrage Federation continued the struggle.

The National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies, which had always employed “constitutional” methods, continued to lobby during the war years and compromises were worked out between the NUWSS and the coalition government.[44] On 6 February, the Representation of the People Act 1918 was passed, enfranchising women over the age of 30 who met minimum property qualifications as well as men over 21 – before this not all British men were enfranchised.[45] About 8.4 million women gained the vote.[45] In November 1918, the Parliament (Qualification of Women) Act 1918 was passed, allowing women to be elected into parliament.[45] The Representation of the People Act 1928 extended the voting franchise to all women over the age of 21, granting women the vote on the same terms that men had gained ten years earlier.[46]


Nineteen-year-old Fay Hubbard selling suffragette papers in New York, 1910

Historians generally argue that the first stage of the militant suffragette movement under the Pankhursts in 1906 had a dramatic mobilizing effect on the suffrage movement. Women were thrilled and supportive of an actual revolt in the streets; the membership of the militant WSPU and the older NUWSS overlapped and were mutually supportive. However a system of publicity, Ensor argues, had to continue to escalate to maintain its high visibility in the media. The hunger strikes and force-feeding did that. However, the Pankhursts refused any advice and escalated their tactics. They turned to systematic disruption of Liberal Party meetings as well as physical violence in terms of damaging public buildings and arson. Searle says the methods of the suffragettes did succeed in damaging the Liberal party but failed to advance the cause of women’s suffrage. When the Pankhursts decided to stop the militancy at the start of the war, and enthusiastically support the war effort, the movement split and their leadership’s role ended. Suffrage did come four years later, but the feminist movement in Britain permanently abandoned the militant tactics that had made the suffragettes famous.[47][48]

Whitfield concludes that the militant campaign had some positive effects in terms of attracting enormous publicity, and forcing the moderates to better organize themselves, while also stimulating the organization of the antis. He concludes:

The overall effect of the suffragette militancy, however, was to set back the cause of women’s suffrage. For women to gain the right to vote it was necessary to demonstrate that they had public opinion on their side, to build and consolidate a parliamentary majority in favor of women’s suffrage and to persuade or pressure the government to introduce its own franchise reform. None of these objectives was achieved.[49]


Gold ear rings in suffragette colours

Pendant presented to Louise Eates in 1909

From 1908, the WSPU adopted the colour scheme of violet, white and green: violet symbolised dignity, white purity, and green hope. These three colours were used for banners, flags, rosettes and badges, They also would carry heart shaped vesta cases, and appeared in newspaper cartoons and postcards.[50]

Mappin & Webb, the London jewellers, issued a catalogue of suffragette jewellery for Christmas 1908.

In 1909 the WSPU presented specially commissioned pieces of jewellery to leading suffragettes Emmeline Pankhurst and Louise Eates. Some Arts and Crafts jewellery of the period incorporated the colours violet, white and green using enamel and semi-precious stones such as amethysts, pearls, and peridots. However jewellery that incorporated these stones was already quite common in women’s jewellery during the late 19th century, before 1903 and could not be connected with the suffragettes, before the WSPU adopted the colours. Also, the notion that the colours were green, white, and violet, to spell GWV as an acronym for “Give Women Votes” is a modern fallacy.[51]

The colours of green and heliotrope (purple) were commissioned into a new coat of arms for Edge Hill University in 2006, symbolising the University’s early commitment to the equality of women through its beginnings as a women-only college.[52]

Popular culture[edit]

Notable people[edit]

Great Britain[edit]



See also[edit]


  1. Jump up ^ Ida Husted Harper. History of Woman Suffrage, volume 6 (National American Woman Suffrage Association, 1922) p. 752.
  2. Jump up ^ “Foundingdocs.gov.au”. Foundingdocs.gov.au. Archived from the original on 3 December 2010. Retrieved 8 January 2011. 
  3. Jump up ^ Crawford 1999.
  4. Jump up ^ van Wingerden 1999, p. 9.
  5. Jump up ^ Crawford 1999, p. 452.
  6. Jump up ^ Colmore, Gertrude. Suffragette Sally. Broadview Press, 2007, p. 14
  7. Jump up ^ Ben Walsh. GCSE Modern World History second edition (Hodder Murray, 2008) p. 60.
  8. Jump up ^ Grant 2011.
  9. Jump up ^ Howell, Georgina (2010). Gertrude Bell: Queen of the Desert, Shaper of Nations. p. 71. 
  10. Jump up ^ Harrison 2013, p. 176.
  11. Jump up ^ Pedersen 2004, p. 124.
  12. Jump up ^ Bolt 1993, p. 191.
  13. Jump up ^ “Did the Suffragettes Help?”. Claire. John D. (2002/2010), Greenfield History Site. Retrieved 5 January 2012. 
  14. Jump up ^ “The Suffragettes: Deeds not words” (PDF). National Archives. Retrieved 5 January 2012. 
  15. Jump up ^ Collection Highlights, Pank-A-Squith Board Game, People’s History Museum 
  16. Jump up ^ Time Stokes (21 December 2017). “The strangest things sent in the post”. BBC news. Retrieved 21 December 2017. 
  17. Jump up ^ “SUFFRAGETTES”. The Register. Adelaide: National Library of Australia. 16 April 1913. p. 7. Retrieved 26 October 2011. 
  18. Jump up ^ “Bomb explosion in Westminster Abbey; Coronation Chair damaged; Suffragette outrage”. The Daily Telegraph. 12 June 1914. p. 11. 
  19. Jump up ^ Thorpe, Vanessa (26 May 2013). “Truth behind the death of suffragette Emily Davison is finally revealed”. The Guardian. Guardian News and Media Limited. 
  20. Jump up ^ “With ‘Sophia,’ A Forgotten Suffragette Is Back In The Headlines”. NPR.org. Retrieved 2 January 2016. 
  21. Jump up ^ Purvis 1995, p. 103.
  22. ^ Jump up to: a b c d Geddes 2008, p. 81.
  23. Jump up ^ Purvis, June (March–April 1995). “Deeds, not words: The daily lives of militant suffragettes in Edwardian Britain”. Women’s Studies International Forum. ScienceDirect. 18 (2): 97. doi:10.1016/0277-5395(95)80046-R. 
  24. Jump up ^ Purvis 1995, p. 104.
  25. Jump up ^ Williams 2001, p. 285.
  26. Jump up ^ Williams, Elizabeth (December 2008). “Gags, funnels and tubes: forced feeding of the insane and of suffragettes”. Endeavour. PubMed. 32 (4): 134. doi:10.1016/j.endeavour.2008.09.001. PMID 19019439. 
  27. Jump up ^ Purvis, “”Deeds, Not Words””, 97
  28. ^ Jump up to: a b c Miller 2009, p. 360.
  29. ^ Jump up to: a b c d Miller 2009, p. 361.
  30. ^ Jump up to: a b Geddes 2008, p. 82.
  31. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, pp. 84–5.
  32. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, p. 85.
  33. ^ Jump up to: a b Purvis, “Deeds, Not Words”, 97.
  34. Jump up ^ Williams, “Gags, funnels and tubes”, 138.
  35. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, p. 83.
  36. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, p. 88.
  37. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, p. 89.
  38. Jump up ^ Wilson, Gretchen With All Her Might: The Life of Gertrude Harding, Militant Suffragette (Holmes & Meier Publishing, April 1998)
  39. Jump up ^ Ruz, Camila; Magazine, Justin Parkinson BBC News. “‘Suffrajitsu’: How the suffragettes fought back using martial arts”. BBC News. Retrieved 2015-12-09. 
  40. Jump up ^ Williams, “Gags, funnels and tubes”, 139.
  41. Jump up ^ Geddes 2008, p. 92.
  42. Jump up ^ Purvis 1995, p. 123.
  43. Jump up ^ J. Graham Jones, “Lloyd George and the Suffragettes”, National Library of Wales Journal (2003) 33#1 pp. 1–34
  44. Jump up ^ Ian Cawood, David McKinnon-Bell (2001). “The First World War”. p.71. Routledge 2001
  45. ^ Jump up to: a b c Fawcett, Millicent Garrett. The Women’s Victory – and After. p.170. Cambridge University Press
  46. Jump up ^ Peter N. Stearns (2008).In 1979 the first British women prime minister Margaret came> The Oxford encyclopedia of the modern world, Volume 7. p.160. Oxford University Press, 2008
  47. Jump up ^ , Robert Ensor, England: 1870–1914 (1936) pp 398–99
  48. Jump up ^ G.R. Searley, A New England? Peace and War 1886–1918 (2004) pp 456–70. quote p 468
  49. Jump up ^ Bob Whitfield, The Extension of the Franchise, 1832–1931 (2001) p 160
  50. Jump up ^ Crawford 1999, pp. 136–7.
  51. Jump up ^ Hughes, Ivor (March 2009). “Suffragette Jewelry, Or Is It?”. Antiques Journal. Archived from the original on 11 January 2012. Retrieved 5 January 2012. 
  52. Jump up ^ “Colours, Crest & Mace”. Retrieved 5 October 2014. 
  53. Jump up ^ McPherson, Angela; McPherson, Susan (2011). Mosley’s Old Suffragette – A Biography of Norah Elam. ISBN 978-1-4466-9967-6. Archived from the original on 13 January 2012. 
Bolt, Christine (1993). The Women’s Movements in the United States and Britain from the 1790s to the 1920s. Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts Press. ISBN 978-0-870-23866-6. 
Crawford, Elizabeth (1999). The Women’s Suffrage Movement: A Reference Guide, 1866–1928. London: UCL Press. ISBN 978-1-841-42031-8. 
Geddes, J. F. (2008). “Culpable Complicity: the medical profession and the forcible feeding of suffragettes, 1909–1914”. Women’s History Review. 17 (1): 79–94. doi:10.1080/09612020701627977.  closed access publication – behind paywall
Grant, Kevin (2011). “British suffragettes and the Russian method of hunger strike”. Comparative Studies in Society and History. 53 (1): 113–143. doi:10.1017/S0010417510000642.  closed access publication – behind paywall
Harrison, Brian (2013) [1978]. Separate Spheres: The Opposition to Women’s Suffrage in Britain. Abingdon: Routledge. ISBN 978-0-415-62336-0. 
Miller, Ian (2009). “Necessary Torture? Vivisection, Suffragette Force-Feeding, and Responses to Scientific Medicine in Britain c. 1870–1920”. Journal of the History of Medicine and Allied Sciences. 64 (3): 333–372. doi:10.1093/jhmas/jrp008.  closed access publication – behind paywall
Pedersen, Susan (2004). Eleanor Rathbone and the Politics of Conscience. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press. ISBN 978-0-300-10245-1. 
Purvis, June (1995). “The Prison Experiences of the Suffragettes in Edwardian Britain”. Women’s History Review. 4 (1): 103–133. doi:10.1080/09612029500200073.  open access publication – free to read
Williams, John (2001). “Hunger Strikes: A Prisoner’s Right or a ‘Wicked Folly’?”. Howard Journal. 40 (3): 285–296. doi:10.1111/1468-2311.00208.  closed access publication – behind paywall

Further reading[edit]

Atkinson, Diane (1992). The Purple, White and Green: Suffragettes in London, 1906–14. London: Museum of London. ISBN 978-0-904-81853-6. 
Hannam, June (2005). “International Dimensions of Women’s Suffrage: ‘at the crossroads of several interlocking identities'”. Women’s History Review. 14 (3–4): 543–560. doi:10.1080/09612020500200438.  closed access publication – behind paywall
Leneman, Leah (1995). A Guid Cause: The Women’s Suffrage Movement in Scotland (2nd ed.). Edinburgh: Mercat Press. ISBN 978-1-873-64448-5. 
Liddington, Jill; Norris, Jill (2000). One Hand Tied Behind Us: The Rise of the Women’s Suffrage Movement (2nd ed.). London: Rivers Oram Press. ISBN 978-1-854-89110-5. 
Mayhall, Laura E. Nym (2000). “Reclaiming the Political: Women and the Social History of Suffrage in Great Britain, France, and the United States”. Journal of Women’s History. 12 (1): 172–181. doi:10.1353/jowh.2000.0023.  closed access publication – behind paywall
——— (2003). The Militant Suffrage Movement: Citizenship and Resistance in Britain, 1860–1930. New York, NY: Oxford University Press. ISBN 978-0-195-15993-6. 
Purvis, June (2002). Emmeline Pankhurst: A Biography. London: Routledge. ISBN 978-0-415-23978-3. 
Purvis, June; Sandra, Stanley Holton, eds. (2000). Votes For Women. London: Routledge. ISBN 978-0-415-21458-2. 
Rosen, Andrew (2013) [1974]. Rise Up Women!: The Militant Campaign of the Women’s Social and Political Union, 1903–1914 (Reprint ed.). Abingdon: Routledge. ISBN 978-0-415-62384-1. 
Smith, Harold L. (2010). The British Women’s Suffrage Campaign, 1866–1928 (Revised 2nd ed.). Abingdon: Routledge. ISBN 978-1-408-22823-4. 
Wingerden, Sophia A. van (1999). The Women’s Suffrage Movement in Britain, 1866–1928. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. ISBN 978-0-333-66911-2. 

Primary sources[edit]

  • Estelle Sylvia Pankhurst. The suffragette; the history of the women’s militant suffrage movement, 1905–1910 (New York Sturgis & Walton Company, 1911).

External links[edit]

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