I woke up thinking of this song and crying about a young man we love and care about who has chosen to join the Navy and leave home. A journey many of us have made. A journey I chose to make to join the Air Force on 13 Aug 1986. It’s a choice made about getting away, leaving home, trying to find and make a better life for ourselves. It’s important to know why your leaving before you go. You can’t run from yourself. Where you go, there you are no matter how fast the car.
fast car in Simple Gematria equals: 68 (I was born in 1968)
As I look at my life in this moment, there is a comfort in this. Regardless of “how” or “why” we seem to get “there.” Wherever “there” is meant to be for us. There is so much wrapped up in all that. So many variables that are beyond our control. The variable at the center of whatever happens is us and our behavior in the midst of it. For me, the other variables have been God and love. The God part has changed a lot as I have gone through life. I had to abandon many parts of what I learned and was taught early in my life to find God for myself.
It’s been hard, especially these past years to trust this world and the people in it. I have had to remind myself that each and every life on this planet, in whatever it’s shape and form is part of the God of my understanding. The earth and the energy forces that keep it together. Whether or not I love each shape and form is my choice. I have found that because I know I have made many mistakes and am not perfect that everyone is worthy of love. Worthy of a chance (or may be more than one). Worthy of forgiveness; I don’t forget easily. It doesn’t mean they have to part of my day to day life or in my life at all, but I still love and care about them.
I left home thinking I was going to get away from a small town. I left home thinking I was going to get away from the influence of my parents. I left home not really completely knowing why I was doing it. I do know I was running. Not like I did in cross country and track….the other kind of running. Doesn’t that seem a bit like what birds in nature do? They either leave the nest on their own or Mom and Dad push them out? Neither of them really knows what’s going to happen, it’s just what their programmed to do. The programming of nature as a whole seems a bit off these days doesn’t it?
bluebird in Simple Gematria equals: 73 (my parents Larry and Dianne were married in 1973)
Tracy Chapman – “Fast Car” (Official Music Video)
programmed in Simple Gematria equals: 110
you cant run away from yourself in Simple Gematria equals: 375
68 + 73 + 110 + 375 = 626/68 or 86