28 May 2018 To Be Able To Find You Again

21 Aug 2015 – drawing I gave to my friend Rebecca before she went to Pikes Peak in Colorado Springs CO.

Hello to you.  It’s hard to believe but it’s Memorial Day Monday already.  Kyle was in shock yesterday when I told him it was Sunday not Saturday lol!  Lost a whole day!

This morning we went up to Glenwood cemetery to pay our respects.  It’s so hot and humid it was hard to breathe but we have made it a tradition so we stuck it out.  We go up there for Memorial and Veteran’s Day to pay our respects not just to the veterans buried there, but to all the dead.

As we walked this morning, I got tearful talking to Kyle about what will happen to places like this when there is no earth.  What will become of Earth’s consciousness?  The energy that was us?  Kyle reeled me back in to the moment and we decided we wouldn’t worry about that right now.  Right now there is an earth to walk on and we are together.  I told him the reason I was so upset was just thinking about he and I being parted.  I want to make sure he can find me and I can find him again when we don’t have a body.  It was so hard to find each other in this life! 

To Be Able To Find You Again -(Jackie poem)

When the stars wink out and I can’t see the sky

I hope you will be

Somewhere close by.

Even though our bodies will have long since become dust

All the mementos of our shared past

Only rust

I hope to be able to find you again

In the place where there are only beginnings

Never an end.

When we die right now, our bodies become part of the earth and cycle back into new forms of existence.  To me, this is proof of immortality and that we never truly die.  We just become something or someone else.  It’s disconcerting to imagine not having that earth system to go to when our time in these forms is complete.   It tugs at my heart to think of all our existence just evaporating into time at some point.  They say it’s a long time away but sometimes I wonder.

What “reeled me back” to the now was seeing the large and healthy trees dispersed through the cemetery shining in the morning sunlight.  The centurions…the gatekeepers to heaven.  It was also comforting to find out that the grave I always visit, Donnie, recently got a neighbor so he’s not alone anymore.  The final thing that was so beautiful was finding painted rocks with loving messages near the wall that has veterans names on it!  My prayer each time we visit is that there will be no new wars.

Sorry to be morbid,  but this kind of holiday brings about such thoughts in me.  “What has it all been for and will it last?!”

P.S. note –

Last night I went out to catch a glimpse of the lovely full moon before bed and was looking up in the sky and saw a light brown star.  While I was looking at it, it just disappeared!  I checked to see if it was just my glasses (they are very scratched) something.  Probably a satellite, plane or something.





2 comments on “28 May 2018 To Be Able To Find You Again

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