Sigh….heavy hearts in our time and space as I write to you. This morning at about 9:30 am May had her second birthday and has returned to the God of my understanding. Where once there was a little skinny gray cat there is now only memories and ether…..our love and gratitude is with her essence.
Last night I noticed she had blood on her left ear, had been unusually quiet all day and hadn’t eaten anything all day either. Very concerning. We decided that we would take her to the Alvarado Veterinary Hospital in the morning and ask for an honest assessment of her condition. It was a very difficult night for me. I had a nightmare like I haven’t had in a long time. I remember my friend Rhonda was in it and something about being dragged away in the dark. I started screaming in my dream for help which then made it to the real world and woke up Kyle. I realize it may have been about Amber. She lost all movement just before she died and I had to carry her to bed in the dark that night. All she could do was purr. It was a scary dream.
Morning came early. I spent some quality time with May. I talked and sang to her and brushed her very dry, matted hair. She just loved on me like she always did and purred with gratitude.
The clinic opened around 8:00 am and was hopping when we got there. The Vet who examined May was Dr. Jeremy R. Mitchell. Kyle and I really appreciated his being straight-forward and honest about May’s condition…..it was time. He could tell from his examination that she was suffering renal/kidney failure and was severely dehydrated. He said he could run some blood tests for her but it wouldn’t really change the outcome. I had to shake his hand because we both appreciated, more than words can express, his honesty and strength in helping us with this most difficult of all decisions a pet owner has to make. We are grateful to the entire staff at Alvarado Veterinary that helped us today! We were so impressed today, we may consider returning to them once the health plans for Banfield expire.
I won’t go into much else right now…still processing and I need to stay focused on the good of all this….the good that was our May. I will write more as it comes.
Sweet May….who could purr her way out of just about anything. The cat who loved to play ball….I would day “ready?” and toss a little ball at her and she’d swat it like a champ. She was always a very heavy cat until this past year…from nearly 20 lbs to just 7. We have a funny memory of Kyle trying to get her to lose weight in Delaware by chasing her around the apartment. Oh she hated that! She even stopped and hissed at him for that lol! So many memories stretching all the way back to 1999! We were together all that time and went through so much!
Even with how poorly she was feeling in that office, she loved on both Kyle and I before it was time to go. She, like every animal I have had the honor to share a life with, teaching me…modeling for me….grace all the way to the end of her story.
I feel like the days leading up to this were God’s way of preparing me….May’s favorite color was Blue. “Mr. Blue” aka God was very much in my recent drawings and thoughts.
Kidney Failure in Cats – some information about what May was experiencing. Every cat I’ve had has gone through problems with their kidneys. My first cat, Kiki, actually died from kidney failure.
This is the song I sang to May as she transitioned on. I think of it as her , Amber, Blondie and Sam’s message of comfort to Kyle and I about the most difficult part of our shared journey here on earth….being tangibly parted by death. It’s comforting to think that it’s only temporary….”til we see each other again. A little different but much the same.”
Marilla Ness – Be not afraid.
A song my friend Cindy shared with me after we lost Amber last year.
Old Black Cat – Ian Anderson