31 Oct 2017 What does “Made in American” mean today and Halloween meditations in chalk

Hello to you, how are you doing in your here and now?  I’m kind of bummed lol.  We bought a bunch of Halloween candy and it looks like the powers that be have decided to possibly rain us out.  We do need water more than candy so I won’t get too upset lol…just kind of shitty.  It’s ok no matter what as it’s not as much fun celebrating Halloween without Kyle around anyways…he still has to work.  The other reason I’m bummed out is our dishwasher, a Whirlpool, that is only about 2 years old is already acting up on us.  We aren’t sure what’s wrong with it but no matter what we did, it wouldn’t go through it’s cycles and clean the dishes.  Since we’ve lived here, anything that has to do with water – toilets, sinks, shower,  appliances has had something go wrong with it.  I really hope our dishwasher wasn’t made with the intention of it only lasting 2 years!  I expect better from a brand like Whirlpool *American made….that use to mean something!  Now when I see something is made in America I question if I should buy it!  What is the companies bottom line?  Profit or a quality product…caring about customer satisfaction?  Grrrr.

Went out and had some time with the chalks this morning.  The themes that came up aren’t new and have come up before; it’s just a different way.  Some of the things help me further understand things I’ve been thinking and writing about lately.  The meditations in chalk and notes I made are part of my quest to understand myself, God as I perceive them and the “shine” attraction I mentioned yesterday.

Anyhew to close-

Last night I saw an article about spooky space sounds NASA was sharing and really got a kick out of hearing them!  Some sounded like old video game music, some sounded like sacred sounds “OM” and some sounded like some sort of language.  If you go to this link, they have a way for you to listen too if your interested!  Thank you NASA!


These eerie space ‘sounds’ recorded by NASA are creepy enough to make your skin crawl

Dave Mosher

“Just in time for Halloween, NASA on Thursday released a compilation of 22 outer-space sounds “that is sure to make your skin crawl,” the space agency said in a release.”

*2:13 pm – it’s raining….sigh.





30 Oct 2017 Meditations in chalk today

Hello to you – it’s almost Halloween!  So hard to believe we are already to the end of the month.  Looking forward to sharing the seasonal spirit with neighbors and friends tomorrow night.  Lots and lots of drawing today.  I know this is going to sound really strange, but doing this is like externalizing a conversation you might have with yourself or a friend into images.  Hopefully something here will be for you.

The #3 has been something that has come up for me several times in the past few years.  Why is it when we make the sign of the cross (Catholics) is it only, “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit?”  Where is woman in divinity?  The conclusion I came to, in red, Temptation is a big one.  We’ve seen that just here in the past few weeks with all the Hollywood scandals haven’t we?  I think of what happens with anything beautiful, pure and or new….we want to touch it, get a part of whatever the “shine” is in the beauty for ourselves…usually tangibly.  Think of how most people react when they see a newborn child, baby animal, a pretty man or woman or a something exciting and new like a car, jewelry, clothes etc…they gravitate to it just like a magnet!

Obtaining a piece of “shine” can become an addiction just like anything in this world.

I know in my past, the reason I went looking to obtain a “piece of shine” (person, place or thing) outside of myself was because the light within myself was diminished.  It has taken me a long time to learn (each day is a new learning btw) what my ex tried to teach me, “you have to find a way to make yourself happy!”

You have to find the light within yourself.  Any light you steal from outside yourself will always burn out…..it is but a fleeting ember of the true flame that only exists within your own heart.   

Don’t know if any of this will resonate….I hope it will.




Dozens of Octopuses Crawl From The Sea In Wales In ‘End of Days’ Beach Scene

By Josh Lowe   On 10/30/17 at 10:39 AM

“There’s a mysterious octopus invasion taking place on the beaches of Western Britain—and it could be an unexpected consequence of the hurricane season.

Brett Stones, who runs the SeaMôr dolphin-watching company in the Ceredigion area of Wales, saw around 25 octopuses climbing along the beach on Friday.”

30 Oct 2017 Marisa W. Harris’s tragic and ironic interface with earth school’s reality

Hello to you.  I got a bit of a shock this morning when I perused the headlines this morning, Google this time.  One of the most tragic and ironic stories was there.  A young woman named Marisa W Harris, who looks a lot like the woman I drew yesterday, was killed by a little boy (dream) who they think tried to kill himself by jumping off of an overpass and ended up landing on Marisa’s car and killing her.  She literally saved a severely troubled child?! There is something to learn here in this story.  Children don’t just starve for lack of food.  One of the main reasons I chose not to have children wasn’t just because of fibroid cysts in my ovaries, it was for fear of passing on what my mother and I share to a child in a world like this.  My prayers go out to all involved in this tragedy and all those like it all over this world.    I am truly hoping for something good to come of this.  I don’t want Marisa to have died for nothing.  Learning in Earth School is 24/7….24 hours…365 days a year.

29 Oct 2017 – After I drew the woman came the pyramid with the cavity underneath image again. The phrase is something I’ve heard in my head when I’m outside with the trees. May seem odd, just writing down what comes through.



Home / Top News / U.S. News

Woman killed when suicidal 12-year-old jumps from overpass, lands on her: police

By Ray Downs  |  Oct. 30, 2017 at 2:09 AM
Marisa Harris, 23, was studying to be a counselor to help troubled children, her family said. Photo via Facebook
 Oct. 30 (UPI) — A 12-year-old boy attempted to commit suicide by jumping off an overpass Saturday, but landed on a car and instead killed the 23-year-old driver, Virginia State Police said.

The boy, who has not been named because he is a minor, was severely injured in the incident and remains in critical condition.

The passenger was not injured.

Harris was a graduate student pursuing a degree in clinical counseling at Marymount University. Family said she was studying counseling to help troubled kids.

“That’s the irony that we’re at looking at right now,” her father, Patrick Harris, told the Washington Post.

“She was caring — I mean she had an absolute love for children,” Harris’ mother, Leigh Miller said.





http://abc.go.com/shows/the-toy-box – fun new show, I would like to see shows like this for subjects such as science and inventions also.

29 Oct 2017 Dreaming while your awake – imagining

Hello to you.  It’s Sunday afternoon now and it’s been a lovely day here.  Lots of drawing today.  I don’t know how to describe what it is that is going on with me and this chalk drawing now.  The phrase, “dreaming while your awake” comes to mind or just good old fashioned day dreaming.  Just putting down on the pavement whatever comes to my mind.  Sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it’s just thoughts and images passing through.  I like to share them because may be something within them will spark your imagination too?!  I hope so.  It’s so important to make time and space for imagination….imagining.  When I go out with my chalks, that is what I’m doing.  What do you do as an outlet for all those miscellaneous thoughts?

29 Oct 2017 The Hotel of hunger, Wizard and the Dragon (Dreams) and Mother Earth (Poem by Henry Van Dyke)

Hello to you in your here and now. It’s a very chilly Sunday morning as I write to you. I hope this finds you well.

I don’t know if it’s because we finally got enough animal protein yesterday, it’s cooler at night for sleeping or just that Kyle was home and I felt safer but the dream factory was quite active.

The first dream I remember was something about a hotel and a hungry child, a little boy. This little boy had been relying on the now closed hotel for food, as had many others. It was being repurposed to another sort of living space. There was someone showing me the property and there was a screened in porch that magically expanded before my eyes. When we got to the kitchen the little boy was there. I told him I hoped some day he would have a good job and make lots of money so he wouldn’t be hungry anymore. The food left behind by the previous owners of the property was rotting. That was all there was to give the child was rotting food to eat.

(After reflecting on this dream, it seemed to almost be a story that is playing out before all of us. Our earth that we have relied on for all of our lives is being repurposed. The screened in porch makes me think of geoengineering, weather modification or spraying the sky to block the sun. The rotting food – well recently there has been a lot of vegetable recalls because of Listeria for example (http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/23/health/listeria-recall-vegetables/index.html). We are destroying the earth for which our survival depends and if we aren’t careful, all that is going to be left for our children is rotted food.)

The second dream.

The dream was about a flood and people in the rising waters saw sparkling baby slippers and weren’t sure if they should take them from the unattended shop they were in front of. They took them. There was another shop with parts of a collection of heart jewelry and fairy figurines out front. The shop was attended and the woman collecting together the heart jewelry and fairy figurines was dissuaded from taking these items like the others in the flood. She was invited into the shop because somehow she had summoned a dragon in all this and the wizard in the shop took her to a private room and said, “You have managed to summon a dragon and you are going to show me precisely how you did it.”

(After reflecting on this dream, I know the woman in the dream is me as I have and like heart themed jewelry and have collected fairy and dragon figurines. I perceive the flood as being an analogy for what we are experiencing in our world and the choices different people make when faced with overwhelming odds. Some people choose to have children. Some people choose to loot and plunder….remember the pictures after Katrina? The dragon part has a lot to do with my long interest in Vlad Tepes, dragons and just last night moving further along in the FFXIV Heavensward expansion where the Archbishop Thordan VII reminds me of Anthony Hopkins who was a Dragon of sorts as Hannibal.

If you curious to learn about the FFXIV storyline, here are some links. I think you will find the story of the relationship between the dragons and humans to be all too familiar – the quest for power by whatever means, murder, betrayal and lies to quell the masses and keep them placated…from revolting:


If a man cannot atone for his sins in the course of his all-too-fleeting life, must his progeny then be held to account? Must every subsequent generation be judged as well?

—Archbishop Thordan VII


Do you know what sort of man becomes Lord Commander of the Temple Knights? One who comes from good stock. I did not, yet here I am. Now why do you suppose that is? Because I swiftly learned to tell the difference between words, deeds, and beliefs.



I am vengeance incarnate! I am Nidhogg! Thou shall die by my hand!

—Estinien, Nidhogg’s Shade

Henry Van Dyke

Henry Van Dyke (10 November 1852 – 10 April 1933 / Germantown, Pennsylvania)
poet Henry Van Dyke

Mother Earth – Poem by Henry Van Dyke

Mother of all the high-strung poets and singers departed,
Mother of all the grass that weaves over their graves the glory of the field,
Mother of all the manifold forms of life, deep-bosomed, patient, impassive,
Silent brooder and nurse of lyrical joys and sorrows!
Out of thee, yea, surely out of the fertile depth below thy breast,
Issued in some strange way, thou lying motionless, voiceless,
All these songs of nature, rhythmical, passionate, yearning,
Coming in music from earth, but not unto earth returning.

Dust are the blood-red hearts that beat in time to these measures,
Thou hast taken them back to thyself, secretly, irresistibly
Drawing the crimson currents of life down, down, down
Deep into thy bosom again, as a river is lost in the sand.
But the souls of the singers have entered into the songs that revealed them, –
Passionate songs, immortal songs of joy and grief and love and longing:
Floating from heart to heart of thy children, they echo above thee:
Do they not utter thy heart, the voices of those that love thee?

Long hadst thou lain like a queen transformed by some old enchantment
Into an alien shape, mysterious, beautiful, speechless,
Knowing not who thou wert, till the touch of thy Lord and Lover
Working within thee awakened the man-child to breathe thy secret.
All of thy flowers and birds and forests and flowing waters
Are but enchanted forms to embody the life of the spirit;
Thou thyself, earth-mother, in mountain and meadow and ocean,
Holdest the poem of God, eternal thought and emotion.

28 Oct 2017 Enjoying fall – drawings and pictures

Hello to you.  Hope this finds you doing well in your here and now.  It’s been a lovely day so lots of drawing and pictures outside…some better than others.  I hope there is one or more that speaks to you.

27 Oct 2017 Walden

Hello to you.  Just a short note to you on this very windy, chilly Friday.  I really enjoyed the dog walk this morning because I got to put on my cold weather clothes to include a knitted cap lol.  I’ve missed the kiss of the cold wind against my warm face.

Started reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau last night.  It was free to download on my Kindle and I can tell it’s going to be my kind of book!

“Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.”
Henry David Thoreau, Walden


This headline caught my eye this morning btw:


Saudi Arabia’s Newest Citizen Is a Robot

Sophia, an intelligent humanoid robot, has been granted citizenship in Saudi Arabia. It’s the first country in the world to give a bot the same status reserved for humans.

Sophia was awarded the citizenship while on stage at the Future Investment Initiative in Riyadh.

“I am very honored and proud for this unique distinction,” Sophia told the audience during her presentation, which was moderated by CNBC Squawk Box co-anchor and New York Times columnist Andrew Ross Sorkin. “This is historical to be the first robot in the world to be recognized with a citizenship.”

The robot was created by David Hanson, the founder of Hong Kong-based Hanson Robotics, who is known for creating robots that look and act like humans. Sophia was created to look like Audrey Hepburn.

While on stage, Sophia made light of the concerns among some that AI robots could be an existential threat to humans. At one point, she made fun of tech billionaire Elon Musk, who has repeatedly warned that AI could be a threat to humans.

5 Aug 2017 – this one is me thinking about what it’s like talking to God for me and what it might be like for an AI to do it.

7 April 2017 – We are more than just automatons and baby making factories.

Hope you have a great weekend!

26 Oct 2017 Dream Walking and being different

Hello to you. It’s Thursday afternoon and I’m finally feeling good enough to write. My sinus’ have been acting up and it got real bad last night. With the cooler, drier and windier fall weather my sinus’ tend to get dried out and my allergies act up as there is a lot of stuff in the air getting shifted about. The most difficult part is the headaches.

I had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep last night because of the pain but when I did, I had a pretty detailed dream. I’m not sure if it was triggered by my looking at a travel guide for Pittsburgh or what but it didn’t feel like it belonged to me….like I was dream walking again.

5:10 am

Dreamt I was with a young black woman who was working towards a dream of owning a business. She was showing me some pottery piece she was working on and shaping with a hand-held tool that used heat to shape the clay. It looked like brazing? Just remember her holding the piece she was making and running the tool over it and shaping it.  She was still learning. She said she preferred wire work. Her store had crafts and jewelry in it. She had a prize that I was going to win helping her. She had made a ring and I had to go choose the stone from a shop she was working with. Her shop was in like a place like a mall. Before I woke up from this vivid dream, we were outside going into her shop, the sun was shining. A young black man gave me a long quizzical look as he went by us, she teased me about that.

Sometimes I don’t feel like what I dream belongs to me. Kind of like I’m dream walking.  Do you remember the show Quantum Leap starring Scott Bakula?  He would travel through time and when he looked in the mirror he saw himself but the people he was interacting with saw a completely different person.  It’s like this for me sometimes in the dream world.

Quantum Leap – Show Trailer | NBC Classics

2:16 pm – the dream this afternoon definitely belonged to me!

I dreamt about my Mom Dianne trying to understand me and who I am. She was realizing, with my help by my walking her back through my childhood, that I’ve always been this way. For as long as she’s known me, I’ve been different.

I don’t remember many specifics beyond this but that is the gist of what the dream was about. I think this dream was triggered by the drawing I did outside last night of me with flaming red hair and almost a ghostly appearance. Me as the red-headed stepchild nobody wants kind of theme with a tiny little flying insect next to me lol!

25 Oct 2017 – Drawing I did last night. Me as the infamous redheaded step-kid in this world.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I love who I am, but that’s what it feels like to be me in this world sometimes. When your different you are like a piece of a collection in a curiosity cabinet in a museum with a warning label, “Do not touch! Fragile! Damaged goods!” This blog is a way for people approach the “cabinet” I am in, read about me and be curious but at a safe distance.

It’s being this sort of person that makes me able to empathize and begin to understand a pretty wide spectrum of people. This is the gift of suffering can bring to our lives.  When you know what it’s like to go through something, you are more likely to have a heart for someone else going through similar circumstances.

As is said in this beautiful prayer by St Francis, it’s more important to understand than it is to be understood.

26 Oct 2017 A Simple Prayer St Francis that belong to Kyles Grandma Pat Hultgren

25 Oct 2017 Identity Crisis

Hello to you in your where and when from mine. How are you today? Today was quieter “upstairs” but around lunch time I found some thoughts that came to me. I grabbed a notepad, ironically the one I got from the Veteran’s Land Board folks at the State Fair, and just started writing. I recognize my own experience from what I wrote down. I hope there might be something from my notes today for you too.

25 Oct 2017/1200 pm

We don’t know who we are anymore — roles. Goes back to “label” problem. With labels there are associations made…definitions…color, function and purpose…place in the world. When we don’t match or live up to expectations of our label, we have an identity crisis. With the crisis can come unexpected, previously unaddressed emotions and grief.

Each time we change it’s a sort of “death” to a self we used to be. If we were really attached to our former self and that self “dies” it can be very disorienting, confusing — anger, resentment, betrayal and deep sorrow…lash out, lash in…act out or retract within. This is when addictive and destructive behaviors set in. The seeking of the external to soothe the internal like people, places and things in a feeble attempt to exert influence, power and ultimately control. When control of self is lost, most turn outward. We were and continue to be taught to do that.

AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) helped me with doing that. Sometimes the most dangerous and toxic place to dwell is with ones own company….within ones own mind, body and soul. Especially if there has been “bad programming.”

How then to stay tethered?

Faith and looking to nature is what I’ve come to for myself.

Find the God of your understanding and raise the white flag not out of defeat but surrender. Realize you don’t have all the answers and it’s o.k! Let God be God and show you the way.

Like when I’m drawing a picture or thinking of what to draw and get “stumped.” I’ll hear my inner voice say, “Just draw!” I would say, “Have Faith!” Just be you. We are co-creators in this endeavor of life and as I’ve experienced many times now…I’m not in charge and when I think I “know” I find out I don’t know shit!

There is always more to learn in Earth school!

Dilemma – In spirit


25 Oct 2017 Sunlamp drawing at night and David (dream)

Hello to you.  It’s Wednesday morning and nice and cool outside.  Think I heard there might even be a possible freeze?!  There are any number of things going on in my head thinking about that, chuckling a bit, considering Trump Jr. was here yesterday (https://www.texasobserver.org/donald-trump-jr-university-of-north-texas/) yesterday.  I’ll keep the quips to myself.

So I decided to go out back with my sunlamp last night and draw a bit.  I was rewarded.  A couple of inquisitive winged visitors came and posed for me.  I imagine it’s quite curious to them that a fragment of sunlight should be shining in the darkness!  They didn’t act like they do when the regular outdoor lights are on….they were calm.  It was fun for me to get some practice sketching of live subjects.  One moth came to see what I was doing and did a little posing.  Landed on my leg for a bit then flew away for awhile.  They came back a bit later to inspect my rather shoddy rendering of them lol.  They walked around on the drawing like Link and Spot do or when Amber used to inspect my work and they seemed to say to me, “You need ALOT more practice” before disappearing back into the night.  If you pay attention and mind your energy, you can have such interactions with insects.

Communication is more than just what you can see, it’s your internal energy fluctuations as well.  This is something I’ve learned from trying to understand insects and other life forms I share the planet with.   The first person who really helped me understand this concept with regards to communicating with dogs was Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer.

I had a really fun dream last night.  I dreamt I got to be with and talk to David Bowie again.  It was like I was a time traveler.  When I was first with him he was looking like Ziggy Stardust.  I was telling him there was something that could be done for a skin condition he had.  He was really pale.  I told him there were things I couldn’t tell him (I guess this was almost having a lucid moment in the dream realizing the responsibility of time travelers not to mess with the time line) but I told him he would be handsome.  As I said that, he morphed from looking like Ziggy to how he looked in the 1990’s but more of a beefcake version of himself then.  He put on a silly face and said, “I’ll look like this?”

Dreams like this help me.  Sometimes I’ll be outside and look up at the sky and ask where David and everyone I’ve ever loved and lost go.  Kind of like in the movie about Temple Grandin and she has witnesses the euthanasia of a horse and asks, “Where did it go?!”  Everywhere…..they go anywhere and everywhere.  I believe when the spark of God, the energy within us can no longer survive in our body, this energy we were rejoins the God of my understanding, energy, until taking on a new form.


Temple Grandin

Where Did It Go?

Right before my sister’s body convulsed in the terrible grip of death, I received a gift from her learning-challenged son. He had been with me at her hospice bedside saying goodbye. After asking his mother to say hello to Elvis for him in heaven (which even garnered a wisp of a smile from her solemn, sedated face), he gave me his mother’s hand and said, “She’s gone. God took her with Him. Couldn’t you feel God here in the room?”

His confidence that she was no longer in that body has saved me from reliving the strange savagery of her end…over and over again.

I was reminded of this mystery of our souls’ departure by Temple Grandin’s story of Autism and her sensitivity to the death of animals. When the body of a euthanized horse collapsed, limp and empty, she asked about the spirit, “Where did it go?” 

Also in Elizabeth J. Church’s words about the heroin’s father’s death in The Atomic Weight of Love: “Where did all of that energy go? What happened to the bounty of his being, his love for us, for me?”

It’s an important observance and question. Those who see a bit differently often see more than the rest of us.