Good morning to you. It’s 1:15 am as I write to you….couldn’t sleep. The “Hum” came back and even though I tried, I couldn’t sleep through it. Today marks what would have been my birth mother Jeanne’s 75th birthday (my Dad’s is the 31st of May). In the meditations, spirit walks and many chalk drawings that I’ve been doing lately, I think it’s all been leading up to this day. It feels like a “graduation” of sorts, probably because the kids in the schools around us are almost wrapping up their school year. It’s an exciting time!
For those who know me, who know my story from what I’ve shared here in this blog and just being family and or a friend, if you read these three days of messages from the Streams in the Desert Devotional (1925), you will see why they would resonate with me so much. Once again, it feels like being talked to directly by a source…the God of my understanding. This time a book. The God of my understanding is in all things so why not in a book, in a song, in a picture album etc.? Last night before bed, I looked at the photo album I had put together of childhood pictures my Grandma Carol had given to me of Mom. The album also has baby pictures etc of me. There are many mysteries for which I will probably never have answers in these pictures and there was a lot of snow the Christmas Even she took her life. Her suicide, with a firearm, is an act that even after 49 years still affects me and all those who remain that knew and loved her.
I do not think of attaining Peace for myself anymore about this rough start to my life, I think Acceptance is more to my personal truth. I accept her death and how she chose to die – it was between her and the God of her understanding. This is the nature of life and death. We only have dominion over ourselves and our choices – it is there we must examine first before judging and condemning the lives of others. We must ACCEPT ourselves first and foremost for in self reflection we will see we are imperfect but yet worthy of unconditional love and acceptance from others whether these choose to accept us or not.
Anyhew….I hope something in my message here or these words to follow will be for you:
“Sarah bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time which God had spoken to him.” (Gen. 21.2.)
The counsel of the Lord standeth forever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations” (Psalm 33:11). But we must be prepared to wait God’s time. God has His set times. It is not for us to know them; indeed, we cannot know them; we must wait for them.
If God had told Abraham in Haran that he must wait for thirty years until he pressed the promised child to his bosom, his heart would have failed him. So, in gracious love, the length of the weary years was hidden, and only as they were nearly spent, and there were only a few more months to wait, God told him that “according to the time of life, Sarah shall have a son.” (Gen. 18:14.)
The set time came at last; and then the laughter that filled the patriarch’s home made the aged pair forget the long and weary vigil.
Take heart; waiting one, thou waitest for One who cannot dissapoint thee; and who will not be five minutes behind the appointed time; ere long “your sorrow will be turned into joy.”
Ah, happy soul, when God makes thee laugh! Then sorrow and crying shall flee away forever, as darkness before the dawn. – Selected.
It is not for us who are passengers, to meddle with the chart and with the compass. Let that all-skilled Pilot alone with His own work. — Hall.
“Some things cannot be done in a day. God does not make a sunset glory in a moment, but for days may be massing the mist out of which He builds His palaces beautiful in the west.”
“Some glorious morn – but when? Ah, who shall say?
The steepest mountain will become a plain
And the parched land be satisfied with rain.
The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,
Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.
Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,
For him who with a patient heart can wait.
These things shall be on God’s appointed day:
It may not be tomorrow – yet it may.”
“I endure all things for the sake of God’s own people; so that they also may obtain salvation…and with it eternal glory.” (2 Tim. 2:10.) (Weymouth.)
If Job could have know as he sat there in the ashes, bruising his heart on this problem of Providence- that in the trouble that had come upon him he was doing what one man may do to work out the problem for the world, he might again have taken courage. No man lives to himself. Job’s life is but your life and mine written in larger text….So, then, though we may not know what trials wait on any of us, we can believe that, as the days in which Job wrestled with his dark maladies are the only days that make him worth remembrance, and but for which his name had never written in the book of life, so the days through which we struggle, finding no way, but never losing the light, will be the most significant we are called to live. –Robert Collyer.
Who does not know that our most sorrowful days have been amongst our best? When the face is wreathed in smiles and we trip lightly over meadows bespangled with spring flowers, the heart is often running to waste.
The soul which is always blithe and gay misses the deepest life. It has its reward, and it is satisfied to its measure, though that measure is a very scanty one. But the heart is dwarfed; and the nature, which is capable of the highest burns down to its socket without having known the resonance of the deepest chords of joy.
“Blessed are they that mourn.” Stars shine brightest in the long dark night of winter. The gentians show their fairest bloom amid almost inaccessible heights of snow and ice.
God’s promises seem to wait for the pressure of pain to trample out their richest juice as in a wine-press. Only those who have sorrowed know how tender is the “Man of Sorrows.” – Selected.
Thou has but little sunshine, but they long glooms are wisely appointed thee; for perhaps a stretch of summer weather would have made thee as a parched land and barren wilderness. They Lord knows best, and He has the clouds and the sun at His disposal. — Selected
“It is a gray day.” “Yes, but dinna ye see the patch of blue?” Scotch Shoemaker
*2015 Mom Jeanne Faith Becker would have been 73!
“Spring up, O well; sing ye unto it.” (Num. 21:17.)
This was a strange song and a strange well. They had been traveling over the desert’s barren sands, no water was in sigh and they were famishing with thirst Then God spake to Moses and said:
“Gather the people together, and I will give them water,” and this is how it came.
They gathered in circles on the sands. They took their staves and dug deep down into the burning earth and as they dug, they sang,
“Spring up, O well, sing ye unto it,” and o, there came a gurgling sound, a rush of water and a flowing stream which filled the well and ran along the ground.
When they dug this well in the desert, they touched the stream that was running beneath, and reached the flowing tides that had long been out of sight.
How beautiful the picture given, telling us of the river of blessing that flows all through our lives , and we have only to reach by faith and praise to find our wants supplied in the most barren desert.
How did they reach the waters of this well? It was by praise. They sang upon the sand their song of faith, while with their staff of promise they dug the well.
Our praise will still open fountains in the desert, when murmuring will only bring us judgement, and even prayer may fail to reach the fountains of blessing.
There is nothing that pleases the Lord so much as praise. There is no test of faith so true as the grace of thanksgiving. Are you praising God enough? Are you thanking Him for your actual blessings that are more than can be numbered, and are you daring to praise Him even for those trials which are but blessings in disguise? Have you learned to praise Him in advance for the things that have not yet come? — Selected
“Thou waitest for deliverance!
Oh soul, thou waitest long!
Believe that no deliverance
Doth wait for thee in song!
“Sigh not until deliverance
Thy fettered feet doth free:
With songs of glad deliverance
God now doth compass thee.”