26 May 2017 Last Flight of the One-Winged Brown Moth and Cycles and Connections of Life (Drawings)

Good morning.  It’s 8:21 am as I write to you about the last flight of a large brown moth I met this morning that came to me with a broken wing and was prepared to go through the garden gate….to die….to rest.  They, I say they because I can’t tell the difference between male and female moths.  They came to me after I had been listening to some music, one of the songs, Midnight by Coldplay and the other by Enigma, The Silence Must Be Heard.  It was during the Enigma song that the Moth appeared.  I shut off the music and let them come to me.  They seemed to want to climb up my pants leg because they could no longer fly.  So I got a dry leaf and assisted the poor thing up.  Once in my lap, I sang On Eagles Wings and The Wind Beneath My Wings to it and it calmed down enough for me to transport it to the small side garden that is safe from most predators that would disturb it’s rest.  I laid it in the leaves and let the poor thing be.  It’s exhausting existing and flying with one wing!  When I checked later, I couldn’t find them….were they truly dead or just resting?  How little we know and understand about so many life forms we share this planet….this Universe with.   Perhaps if we just calm down and put our ego’s away we can do better.

It’s truly o.k to not know everything, to not be the smartest, the fittest, the brightest, the prettiest the “est” of anything.  Just Be You!  We all have a part, a place, a reason and purpose it just takes varying lengths of time to find a good fit!

Without You (Glee Cast Version)

I can’t win, I can’t reign I will never win this game
Without you, without you I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same without you, without you

I won’t run, I won’t fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can’t rest, I can’t fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh! You! You! You!
Without, you! You! You! Without you

I can’t erase, so I’ll take blame
But I can’t accept that we’re estranged
Without you, without you
I can’t quit now, this can’t be right
I can’t take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you

I won’t soar, I won’t climb
If you’re not here, I’m paralyzed
Without you, without you
I can’t look, I’m so blind
I lost my heart, I lost my mind
Without you, without you

Oh oh oh! You! You! You!
Without, you! You! You! Without you

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you, without you

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, SHAPIRO BERNSTEIN & CO. INC.




25 May 2017 A New Design

Hello to you – it’s 1:41 pm as I write.  The pictures that I have to share with you will hopefully make sense in the sequence of the previous posts.  What has come to me is the only way through this design is through energy of creation…..creativity….originality….free-form thinking and subsequent design and manifestation.  What I made this afternoon I did with materials I already had – the only thing new was how I perceived what was before me, input from Kyle for how to start it and then just going with the flow.  We can’t change the past.  We can only live in the moment we are in and imagine the future while we are in the present.

25 May 2017 Streams in the Desert messages – Mother Jeanne 75th birthday


Good morning to you. It’s 1:15 am as I write to you….couldn’t sleep. The “Hum” came back and even though I tried, I couldn’t sleep through it. Today marks what would have been my birth mother Jeanne’s 75th birthday (my Dad’s is the 31st of May). In the meditations, spirit walks and many chalk drawings that I’ve been doing lately, I think it’s all been leading up to this day. It feels like a “graduation” of sorts, probably because the kids in the schools around us are almost wrapping up their school year. It’s an exciting time!

For those who know me, who know my story from what I’ve shared here in this blog and just being family and or a friend, if you read these three days of messages from the Streams in the Desert Devotional (1925), you will see why they would resonate with me so much. Once again, it feels like being talked to directly by a source…the God of my understanding. This time a book. The God of my understanding is in all things so why not in a book, in a song, in a picture album etc.? Last night before bed, I looked at the photo album I had put together of childhood pictures my Grandma Carol had given to me of Mom. The album also has baby pictures etc of me. There are many mysteries for which I will probably never have answers in these pictures and there was a lot of snow the Christmas Even she took her life. Her suicide, with a firearm, is an act that even after 49 years still affects me and all those who remain that knew and loved her.

I do not think of attaining Peace for myself anymore about this rough start to my life, I think Acceptance is more to my personal truth. I accept her death and how she chose to die – it was between her and the God of her understanding. This is the nature of life and death. We only have dominion over ourselves and our choices – it is there we must examine first before judging and condemning the lives of others. We must ACCEPT ourselves first and foremost for in self reflection we will see we are imperfect but yet worthy of unconditional love and acceptance from others whether these choose to accept us or not.

Anyhew….I hope something in my message here or these words to follow will be for you:

May 24

“Sarah bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time which God had spoken to him.” (Gen. 21.2.)

The counsel of the Lord standeth forever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations” (Psalm 33:11). But we must be prepared to wait God’s time. God has His set times. It is not for us to know them; indeed, we cannot know them; we must wait for them.

If God had told Abraham in Haran that he must wait for thirty years until he pressed the promised child to his bosom, his heart would have failed him. So, in gracious love, the length of the weary years was hidden, and only as they were nearly spent, and there were only a few more months to wait, God told him that “according to the time of life, Sarah shall have a son.” (Gen. 18:14.)

The set time came at last; and then the laughter that filled the patriarch’s home made the aged pair forget the long and weary vigil.

Take heart; waiting one, thou waitest for One who cannot dissapoint thee; and who will not be five minutes behind the appointed time; ere long “your sorrow will be turned into joy.”

Ah, happy soul, when God makes thee laugh! Then sorrow and crying shall flee away forever, as darkness before the dawn. – Selected.

It is not for us who are passengers, to meddle with the chart and with the compass. Let that all-skilled Pilot alone with His own work. — Hall.

“Some things cannot be done in a day. God does not make a sunset glory in a moment, but for days may be massing the mist out of which He builds His palaces beautiful in the west.”

“Some glorious morn – but when? Ah, who shall say?

The steepest mountain will become a plain

And the parched land be satisfied with rain.

The gates of brass all broken; iron bars,

Transfigured, form a ladder to the stars.

Rough places plain, and crooked ways all straight,

For him who with a patient heart can wait.

These things shall be on God’s appointed day:

It may not be tomorrow – yet it may.”

May 25

“I endure all things for the sake of God’s own people; so that they also may obtain salvation…and with it eternal glory.” (2 Tim. 2:10.) (Weymouth.)

If Job could have know as he sat there in the ashes, bruising his heart on this problem of Providence- that in the trouble that had come upon him he was doing what one man may do to work out the problem for the world, he might again have taken courage. No man lives to himself. Job’s life is but your life and mine written in larger text….So, then, though we may not know what trials wait on any of us, we can believe that, as the days in which Job wrestled with his dark maladies are the only days that make him worth remembrance, and but for which his name had never written in the book of life, so the days through which we struggle, finding no way, but never losing the light, will be the most significant we are called to live. –Robert Collyer.

Who does not know that our most sorrowful days have been amongst our best? When the face is wreathed in smiles and we trip lightly over meadows bespangled with spring flowers, the heart is often running to waste.

The soul which is always blithe and gay misses the deepest life. It has its reward, and it is satisfied to its measure, though that measure is a very scanty one. But the heart is dwarfed; and the nature, which is capable of the highest burns down to its socket without having known the resonance of the deepest chords of joy.

“Blessed are they that mourn.” Stars shine brightest in the long dark night of winter. The gentians show their fairest bloom amid almost inaccessible heights of snow and ice.

God’s promises seem to wait for the pressure of pain to trample out their richest juice as in a wine-press. Only those who have sorrowed know how tender is the “Man of Sorrows.” – Selected.

Thou has but little sunshine, but they long glooms are wisely appointed thee; for perhaps a stretch of summer weather would have made thee as a parched land and barren wilderness. They Lord knows best, and He has the clouds and the sun at His disposal. — Selected

“It is a gray day.” “Yes, but dinna ye see the patch of blue?” Scotch Shoemaker 

*2015 Mom Jeanne Faith Becker would have been 73!

26 May

“Spring up, O well; sing ye unto it.” (Num. 21:17.)

This was a strange song and a strange well. They had been traveling over the desert’s barren sands, no water was in sigh and they were famishing with thirst Then God spake to Moses and said:

“Gather the people together, and I will give them water,” and this is how it came.

They gathered in circles on the sands. They took their staves and dug deep down into the burning earth and as they dug, they sang,

“Spring up, O well, sing ye unto it,” and o, there came a gurgling sound, a rush of water and a flowing stream which filled the well and ran along the ground.

When they dug this well in the desert, they touched the stream that was running beneath, and reached the flowing tides that had long been out of sight.

How beautiful the picture given, telling us of the river of blessing that flows all through our lives , and we have only to reach by faith and praise to find our wants supplied in the most barren desert.

How did they reach the waters of this well? It was by praise. They sang upon the sand their song of faith, while with their staff of promise they dug the well.

Our praise will still open fountains in the desert, when murmuring will only bring us judgement, and even prayer may fail to reach the fountains of blessing.

There is nothing that pleases the Lord so much as praise. There is no test of faith so true as the grace of thanksgiving. Are you praising God enough? Are you thanking Him for your actual blessings that are more than can be numbered, and are you daring to praise Him even for those trials which are but blessings in disguise? Have you learned to praise Him in advance for the things that have not yet come? — Selected

“Thou waitest for deliverance!

Oh soul, thou waitest long!

Believe that no deliverance

Doth wait for thee in song!

“Sigh not until deliverance

Thy fettered feet doth free:

With songs of glad deliverance

God now doth compass thee.”









24 May 2017 Meeting famous musicians and the half-breed (Dreams)

Good morning to you.  How are you today, now?  It’s 6:41 am as I begin to write to you and I hope this finds you well in your place in time. Last night I did a lot of dreaming and actually got some deep sleep for a change.  Link’s bites are healing – amazing stuff organic apple vinegar!  Nothing really worked but that to help stop him from itching so much.

I had more than the two dreams I am going to share but these are the important ones I think.

I dreamt about talking to my brother-in-law Drew about meeting famous musicians and how nice it would be.  I always wanted to meet David Bowie but it just wasn’t meant to be.  There was something about his fiancé Ale’s hoodie being cut into three parts and sewn back together.  The next one was about stopping a stray dog from running into the street.  Kyle was greeting dogs in a yard and I saw men/boys coming that didn’t like it (they were carrying what looked like gun cases) and one of the dogs in the yard tried to run but I stopped him before getting in the street – the dog looked like a mix of a King Cavalier spaniel and a Chihuahua.

The second dream was unlocked by a couple of things.  All the thoughts I’ve been about what has been going on in Europe, specifically Great Britain, thinking about Diana last night, having Queen Elizabeth on my mind and having seen some historical footage of her recently on PBS and the news I had heard about the Queen getting on Harry and William about airing their laundry too much in public.  The dog in the dream makes me think of Prince Harry.  I couldn’t access this article but it is the one that came to mind.

What the dog in my dream looked like – King Cavalier and Chihuahua Mix

  1. News about Queen Elizabeth Getting On Harry And

    Queen Elizabeth Thinks Prince William & Prince Harry Need to Put a Lid on It
    The Stir · 2 days ago

    According to a new report, Queen Elizabeth has had it up to her scepter with Prince William and Prince Harry baring their souls … feels “lonely” sometimes. While the public, understandably, can’t …

23 May 2017 Night Rose (drawing)

Good evening to you, it’s 9:26 pm and before I head to the bath for a soak, wanted to share this one last drawing for today.  There were many others I did but this one is special.  It is an amalgam of my first best friend Laura and a woman I thought she looked a lot like and that I greatly admired Princess Lady Diana.   Diana comes to my when I think of  all the turmoil going on in Britain right now.  I am certain if she was still here, she would be out trying to bring comfort to those hurting!  Much love to everyone.

23 May 2017 Home Repairs (is it only about profit?), evening drawings and Against the Clock: How Tech Has Changed Our Perception of Time (Daily Good Feature article)

Good morning to you. It’s 11:28 am as I begin to write to you on this very wet Tuesday morning. More rain came through but didn’t preclude the folks working on replacing siding on our house from completing the job today. Just as they finished it started pouring down rain lol.

In talking with the subcontractor Home Depot used to do the work on our house, I found out about a couple of things worthy of discussion. One was the burden of disposal of supplies after a job (cardboard etc) being put on the contractor and two, how jobs are coordinated.

Apparently after a job is complete Home Depot doesn’t seem to have a system in place for the subcontractors they hire to dispose of materials and packaging for material after a job is complete. It is put on the subcontractor to do this and for the one that was hired to do our house, it can be an expensive problem. With the volume of cardboard and material he has to dispose of, he can’t just put it curbside for trash pick-up and it is expensive to take it to the landfill. Cardboard shouldn’t be going to a landfill anyways! I found myself rather surprised that a major company like this wouldn’t have a system in place for this. If they did, and they might but just not here, which means lack of standardization and cohesion in business practice in my opinion, they would be doing their part to help the environment. I don’t understand why every Home Depot and Lowe’s wouldn’t have a contract set up with recycling companies to take care of all reusable/recyclable waste from the jobs they do and the business they conduct each day. I feel everything we use should be reusable and or recyclable.

Job coordination. The steps that occurred for us to get new siding on our house involved a sales man to come out and make the pitch, a person who came out and did measurements for the job and then the subcontractor who actually did the work – oh and don’t forget the engineers and job coordinators and schedulers! Each of the parts leading up to the actual installation were loosely, if not connected at all. This doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense to me is the subcontractor and each of these people should be involved with the process from start to finish. Working together as a team for cohesiveness and continuity all the way through the process to ensure the best quality of jobs are done. This way everyone is in the loop!

Engineers design things through drawings, models and simulations but seldom are directly involved or see the outcome of their designs and this is unfair to all those in the steps that follow. The vision of the engineer does not involve being on the ground where there is weather conditions to contend with as was with our job – rain. They do not see how much work sometimes has to be done to make their designs “work” properly because it’s one thing to imagine something and quite another to make it reality.

We are very pleased with the work but disappointed in the process!

What I see from the perspective of a homeowner from our latest home repair experience, is in businesses like Home Depot and Lowe’s, they seem to be focused on the end rather than the means to get there. Meaning, they seem to be placing more emphasis on what they will get for the job, than what it takes to do the actual job like the people who work for them directly and indirectly, supplies and the environmental impact of the resources they buy, sell and use for their businesses. I would venture to bet this is an issue for most major corporations in our world these days. It used to be about taking care of those who worked for you so they would want to do their best for you in turn. It used to be about caring about the quality of your goods and services and customer satisfaction….not just profit.

Profit from misery of any kind be it emotional, physical, mental and or spiritual is a flawed modality in which to conduct business. You get as good as you give.

There are some who are in the business of profit that I suspect will never be content, never satisfied, never “full”…..there will never be enough. I would say to them that you can’t put tangible into the space reserved for the intangible. It’s like trying sustain light in a black hole.

3 Aug 2016 – sometimes we see things from a single point of light (our front door peephole)


Forever is composed of nows.
Emily Dickinson

Against the Clock: How Tech Has Changed Our Perception of Time

Against the Clock: How Tech Has Changed Our Perception of TimeMay 23, 2017— Alan Burdick’s most recent book, “Why Time Flies: A Mostly Scientific Investigation,” chronicles his quest to understand the nature of lived time. He recently joined Douglas Rushkoff, media theorist and author of “Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now,” for a conversation on what we miss about the nature of time when we only think about it as a number. The conversation touches on the tension between experienced time and number time, how to align more closely to the body’s natural chrono-biology, and how, because of technology, we are losing the experience of the expansiveness of time. (1605 reads)

Forever is composed of nows. –Emily Dickinson


Against the Clock: How Technology Has Changed Our Experience of Time

–by Heleo Editors, syndicated from heleo.com, May 23, 2017

Alan Burdick is a staff writer and former senior editor at The New Yorker whose first book, Out of Eden: An Odyssey of Ecological Invasion, was a National Book Award finalist and won the Overseas Press Club award for environmental reporting. His most recent book, Why Time Flies: A Mostly Scientific Investigation, chronicles his quest to understand the nature of lived time. He recently joined Douglas Rushkoff, media theorist and author of Present Shock: When Everything Happens Now, for a conversation on what we miss about the nature of time when we only think about it as a number.

This conversation has been edited and condensed. To view the full conversation, click the video below. 


Douglas: [Both our books are] about time, or about the now. For me, the Present Shock was that there are two kinds of time. The Greeks have two words for time: “chronos”, which is like time on the clock, and “chiros”, which is more like readiness, human time. You crash the car at 4:27, but when do you tell dad that you crashed the car? I always say, “After he’s had his drink, before he’s opened the bills.” That’s chiros, human time, the way we experience time, versus real time or number time.

For me, it became important in the digital age, as our style of clock time changed, what does that do to our understanding of real time? You looked at the same relationship in a different way.

Alan: I started out feeling like I understood what space-time is, but that doesn’t really have a lot to do with the time that we actually live in from moment to moment. Then there’s clock time. I came to understand what that is, and it turns out to be really strange. But I didn’t really understand what is this stuff in us that we call time? It turns out that we have all kinds of clocks in us—in our cells, in our mind—and I had begun with a notion that there is this tension between clock time and technological time. I didn’t even want to wear a watch for a long time.

Then I came to embrace it, as I began to understand that time isn’t just a thing that I put on my wrist, but it’s a thing that we create organically between us, almost like a language.

Douglas: Right, if you burrow deep into it, it becomes real again. [When] the clock went up in the clock tower in the medieval village, people stopped trading value and started working for time. It was the invention of the employee and hourly wages, which led to five centuries of “time is money,” which is why in some ways the watch or the Google Calendar feels oppressive. Then you pushed through that and found something reassuring.

Alan: I think so. Even cavemen had to deal with time, to a certain degree. Even if their clock is just the sun, daylight and nighttime, you need time in order to coordinate your activities, even if it’s hunting wooly mammoths. “Let’s all meet at the cave entrance at sunrise.” Then we get it in our clock towers, and now we have it on our wrists, and it is this organizing force, for better or worse. But it does start to get oppressive when you’ve got it on your phone and you pull your phone out of your pocket, and there’s the time, and you’re always thinking about the time. It gets a little overwhelming.

“Indigenous cultures tended to use the moon as a way of organizing their sense of time, and when they used the moon, they were getting in sync with some stuff that we’re only learning about now, the different neurotransmitters that tend to dominate during different weeks of a lunar cycle.”

Douglas: And that stream of time feels like it doesn’t really take into account the way my organs and the body and the culture moves through temporal landscapes. There’s the circadian rhythms or chrono-biology through which we experience the world. Indigenous cultures tended to use the moon as a way of organizing their sense of time, and when they used the moon, they were getting in sync with some stuff that we’re only learning about now, the different neurotransmitters that tend to dominate during different weeks of a lunar cycle. It’s like our obsession with that number makes us lose track of all these other cycles that are moving along with it.

Alan: All times become basically equivalent, even though they actually aren’t.

Douglas: Right, generic, it’s just a number. It’s not just a number.

Alan: That was really interesting to me, this notion that there are different better times of the month to be doing things. Your own schedule takes that into account. Can you say more about that?

Douglas: I did take it into account until I surrendered back to the demands of the world. I got disciplined when I found out that the four weeks of the lunar cycle and the first week of a new moon tends to be dominated by acetylcholine, the next week is dominated by serotonin, then dopamine, then norepinephrine. I started looking up what happens to a body and a brain when it’s bathing in acetylcholine versus dopamine. I realized, in the first week of a new moon, acetylcholine, I’m going to do lots of gathering of new ideas. The second week, the serotonin week, it’s as if you’ve got a bunch of Prozac in you: I’m going to work, to barrel through and get my writing done.

Dopamine week is a party week, a week that I stop writing, force myself to not write, to engage with people. Then the norepinephrine week is the fight or flight week, which is when you pull back and get very analytic. That’s where I would put all my notecards on the wall, make my crazy wall of ideas, and reorganize things, what goes in what chapter. When I worked that way, I actually wrote fewer days per month, but I got more done.

My productivity went up, and my sense of well-being went up too. It felt like a discipline at first, and then it almost felt like there was an internal compass I was getting in touch with. It made sense—there’s four seasons, there’s four parts of the breath, there’s four directions. Not being religious about it, but being aware of it.

Alan: But you let all that go?

Douglas: Well, it let me go. The problem is the demands of the modern life. You’ve got the inbox, and there’s all these people and everybody wants something, or you’re in book promotion mode. When a book comes out, your schedule is no longer your own, the publisher calls, there’s NPR that wants to talk to you at four in the morning, you’re up. You serve that, but you can’t live like that all the time.

Alan: When I was working on this, I had a full time job, and so I always had to decide, “Am I going to get up super early, at four o’clock in the morning?” which is a time of the day not particularly conducive to doing anything except lying in bed. “Or am I going to stay up until two o’clock in the morning?” What I ended up doing was neither. I would go to bed early, and then wake up at midnight or one o’clock in the morning and work for two or three hours. It was like there was this whole other day packed away in the middle of the night. I actually learned there’s a great book about the history of the night.

It turns out that before the advent of modern lighting, people did not sleep eight hours straight. They would go to bed, have what they called the “first sleep”, and then they would wake up at midnight or one. Sometimes they’d stay in bed, but a lot of people got out and dealt with their cows or their fields, or they would even go into the village and do a little work in their shop.

Douglas: At night? With little candles?

Alan: Yeah, and then they would go back to bed at two or three in the morning.

Douglas: The opposite of siesta. That’s so weird, but in a way that’s perfect.

Alan: But it all went away with electric lights, because now—

Douglas: You stay up later.

Alan: Now we think you can colonize any part of the day.

Douglas: Right, the colonization of human time. I’m sure there’s people from the captology labs of Stanford thinking, “How can we use what we’ve learned from [Why Time Flies] to make people spend more time on our website, but think that it’s only been a minute?”

Alan: Science has half-figured out how. Mars has a 25-hour day, and our circadian cycles are 24 hours long, so if we do make it there and live there, it’s like crossing three time zones every two days. They figured out a way to zap you with certain wavelengths of light at certain times of day that will actually give you a 25th hour of the day.

“Time can go faster, or slower, depending on what drug [a person takes] or what they’re doing—meditation, ecstatic experience, entertainment experiences—there’s a joy in it. The disconnection from the clock itself is exhilarating, whichever way it happened.”

Of course you’re spending that hour of the day being exposed to peculiar wavelengths of light, so I’m not sure you’re really gaining.

Douglas: The joy of your book is this sense of connection and disconnection from the clock, this sense of what does it take for a person to move into almost a god-like place. Time can go faster, or slower, depending on what drug [a person takes] or what they’re doing—meditation, ecstatic experience, entertainment experiences—there’s a joy in it. The disconnection from the clock itself is exhilarating, whichever way it happened.

Alan: I was in Alaska for a couple of weeks in the summer, where the sun never sets. It’s freaky and disorienting. It’s absolutely beautiful. But people divided themselves up into two groups. There were the people who just went with it and slept whenever they wanted and ate whenever they wanted. They were in their own temporal world. Then other people, including myself, felt like, in order to remain sane, “I am going to wear my watch and go to bed at 9:30, even if it’s broad daylight, and I’m going to wake up at six a.m., even if it’s broad daylight, and I’m going to live according to my watch.”

Douglas: That’s a little bit like Lord of the Flies—there’s the ones who stay with civilization, maintain the codes to stay sane, and the others who are like, “We’re free, let’s go nuts.” But you want both in your life. You want to have those moments where you’re disengaged. Because our brain is working all the time to make sense of this stuff. You’ve got this great section where you say that one of the main things the mind does is it takes all these data points from reality, and desperately tries to string them together into something that makes sense.

You said it almost as if it’s quite possible it makes no sense. We’re just doing this in order to have a coherent experience of this chaos.

Alan: Part of time is understanding and grasping the order in which things happen in time—sequence. That actually turns out to be a lot more plastic than we give it credit for. You can fool the brain into thinking that B comes before A, in some cases.

I took part in an experiment in which you press a keypad and move your mouse on the screen, but effectively, it had the appearance of the cursor moving before I pressed the button, so effect came before cause. It was super freaky. Every time, I would see my cursor move and think, “I’m going to fool it now and not press the button,” and then I couldn’t stop myself from pressing the button.

How would you describe your relationship to time?

Douglas: It’s gotten screwed up. I don’t blame tech, but I blame the way we’re applying tech, at least. It has to do with my ability—and I feel like this is a national problem—to have perspective on the past. I feel like the past used to be smaller, because it happened a long time ago, and now… The simplest way to say it is if a person I utterly forgot about from second grade now tries to friend me on Facebook, they come into my present without the scale of a person from far away.

They’re at the same scale as any other friend on Facebook, and I feel like this whole nationalism thing, whether it’s Britain doing Brexit, or Trump saying, “Make America Great Again,” it abuses a false connection to the past. It’s exploiting this inability to have proper proportion and perspective on the past. That feels so digital to me.

Alan: When Edison invented the phonograph, there was this scathing review in the Spectator, of this critic saying, “We’re completely disregarding the virtues of oblivion, the benefit of being able to forget.” Now that every voice can be stored forever, we’re going to be haunted by these voices that won’t ever go away.

Douglas: That’s true. Somewhere in Talmud there’s this rule that Jews are not supposed to remind someone of something embarrassing from their past. You can’t say, “I remember when you were 12, and you used to…” Because it doesn’t give the person the liberty to move past that. You keep bringing them back to it.

This whole effort, whether it started with My Life Bits and Facebook timelines, that everyone’s supposed to record their history as if Yale University Library Archives is waiting to store our entire history for future researches—most of us are not that interesting. But everyone is doing that. That’s a strange thing, it pulls you out of the chiros, the present, it doesn’t give you those when time flies moments. It keeps tying you back.

Alan: I have this vision of Facebook in 100 years in which even people who have died, their Facebook presence continues—not only remains, but expands. We’ll not only be able to see pictures of them, but we’ll hear their voices. Your great-grandmother will be calling you with advice about who you should or shouldn’t date. It will all not only be available, but will start speaking.

Douglas: With AI, Ray Kurzweil-ian now-ness to it.

Alan: We’re going to be nostalgic for futurism, because it’s going to be all past-ism.

Douglas: The other thing that got me weirded out from your book was I thought that atomic clocks didn’t really work right, which is why they moved them every once and awhile. But it’s not.

Alan: No, Earth is the problem.

We’re drifting away from the sun, but the sun is getting bigger. That could be a problem in five billion years. In the 1960’s, seconds were defined from the top down: there’s the day, rotation of the Earth, 24 hours, 60 minutes in an hour, 86,450 seconds in a day. It’s just division, a theoretical thing.

Then physicists were like, “Well, if you get a cesium atom and it goes through nine billion plus phase transitions in the span of a second, as defined by this 86,000 metric, then we can do the same thing,” and that’s what we’ve been doing, except that we get farther and farther away from that 1960 definition of the top-down second, because that keeps slowing down.

Douglas: But as far as human bodies are concerned, that’s the only one that matters. When we change time from the segments of the day from the portions of the cycles of life to these independent durations, a second is no longer a part of a minute. That’s screwed up, too. Doesn’t that turn time from this way of understanding our experience to this tyranny of numbers?

Alan: The way that national clocks create time is they have atomic clocks that tick seconds, and then you can add seconds up to figure out the time of day. But the phrasing they use is they “realize” seconds, and they “disseminate” the time. It’s like propaganda.

Douglas: I love that, though. Time is the ultimate propaganda because death is the ultimate fear. Time is the best medium through which to trigger and exploit that Becker denial of death stuff.

Alan: Do you have tricks for turning off the time?

“When we talk about this experience of time flying as we get older, the years seem to go by faster, what’s actually happening, studies show, is that we’re under more time pressure as we get older.”

Douglas: It’s hard when there’s a child going to school in the morning. This is a big project, but I’m wondering if there’s a way to be free of the Google Calendar, if I could do it for a month or two. I don’t like that I spend a large portion of my day answering emails which means putting more things into that calendar, most of which I don’t even really want to do. Then, if the Google Calendar is dictating my next month, and there’s only three hours in it left for me, that’s not good. I don’t want to keep doing things now that screw up the passage of time in the future. I’m bankrupting my own temporal landscape.

Alan: When we talk about this experience of time flying as we get older, the years seem to go by faster, what’s actually happening, studies show, is that we’re under more time pressure as we get older. It’s not that the years are actually going by faster, it’s that we are spending more of our later years scheduling. We’ve got more to do, you’re looking at your calendar more, you’re trying to get more done in the same amount of time than you were when you were five or 10 years old. Of course time went a lot slower when you were five or 10, because you didn’t have a schedule, you weren’t thinking about time.

Douglas: We didn’t have play dates. That infinite, open sky quality of childhood, which is [now] less and less wandering around the neighborhood and finding worms, good stuff. There was an expansiveness. After reading your book, I would say the expansiveness was expansiveness of time. I thought of it as space; it wasn’t, it was time.

Alan: It was the expansiveness of not thinking about time.

Douglas: That’s a liberty I think we deserve, and I’m going to make it come back, I am.

Syndicated from Heleo.com. Heleo seeks to elevate ideas and deepen the cultural conversation. From science to business, healthy living to the arts, Heleo features insightful writing and in-depth conversations with the world’s top writers and thinkers. 


22 May 2017 My spirit walk in town today – the three Mary’s

Hello to you.  It’s 3:39 pm and Kyle and I are back from lunch at our favorite local place, Taqueria Torres and my 3 hour walk in town!  I had to get out for some peace as they are hard at work on the house AND fixing the street in our neighborhood and it is noisy lol!  I’m grateful but it’s hard for me to have spirit time when there is a lot going on.  So I packed my camera bag with shoelaces for a strap (the strap that belongs to the bag is Spot’s make-shift harness for dog walks) and set out.  Kyle stayed home with the dogs and the folks working on the house.

It is amazing what happens when you allow yourself to go on a walk with the God of your understanding or as my friend Patty Ladale says, “internal navigation system.”  If the voice inside says go right, you go right and just walk and then you find something that leads to something else.  That’s what happened today and I am sharing my walk with you in pictures.  Where my walk lead was to two Mary’s and our local cemeteries Veterans Memorial and then lunch at our favorite Mexican food place that has a 3rd Mary on display inside, I’ve shared her with you before (last pic in gallery).

I hope my sharing this with you can help you somehow reader.  Thank you for allowing me space in your time to share this.  Love to you!


22 May 2017 Staff Sgt Edwin Caba and Thomas Ponce (Daily Good Feature articles about our relationship with Animals), The Spiral (poem), Drawings and August Rush (movie)

Good morning to you. It’s 7:25 am on this wet Monday morning….it rained again last night! No complaints here! The workers will have some soggy boxes of materials to work with today but we had been assured it won’t affect the quality of the siding installation.

A couple great articles from the Daily Good that I wanted to pass on – those who know me know that I love nature and animals very much.


The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Mahatma Gandhi

Sergeant Helps Abandoned Animals in Afghanistan Find Homes

May 21, 2017— While Staff Sgt. Edwin Caba served in Afghanistan, a litter of puppies born on his base brought a sense of much needed joy and relief to the soldiers. Many didn’t want to part with them once their tour ended. Enter Nowzad Dogs. Since 2007, the nonprofit has reunited more than 700 soldiers with the animals they cared for on duty. As the only official animal shelter in the country, it also helps find homes for abandoned animals in Afghanistan. Founder Pen Farthing, a former Royal Marine sergeant, named the organization after after Nowzad — a dog that adopted Farthing, and followed him back to base after he broke up a dogfight. The dog had such an effect on Farthing that he found a way to take her home. In doing so, he realized he wanted to help others do the same. (947 reads)

American Humane


We are committed to helping America’s veterans and recognizing their heroic contributions to our country – both on and off of the battlefield

American Humane has been first to serve with the U.S. military for a century: Our animal rescue program was born on the battlefields of World War I Europe, where, at the request of the U.S. Secretary of War, volunteers with American Humane deployed to rescue and care for 68,000 wounded war horses each month.

We continue to proudly honor this legacy today through American Humane’s Lois Pope LIFE Center for Military Affairs. The program, founded through the generosity of philanthropist and passionate veterans advocate, Lois Pope, offers meaningful support to our Armed Forces with two key areas of focus: first, providing lifesaving service dogs to veterans suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS); second, protecting America’s hard-working military dogs and recognizing their heroic contributions to our country – both on and off of the battlefield.

About American Humane Lois Pope LIFE Center for Military Affairs

Philanthropist Lois Pope is one of the nation’s leading advocates for America’s active-duty military, veterans, and military animals.

The driving force behind the establishment of the American Veterans Disabled for Life Memorial in Washington, D.C., the nation’s first and only permanent public tribute to the four million living disabled veterans and those who have died, she recently endowed the American Humane Lois Pope LIFE Center for Military Affairs. The Center builds on American Humane’s 100 years of work with the U.S. military by providing life-changing, life-saving programs to:

Help military K-9 teams on and off the battlefield

Help veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress and Traumatic Brain Injury obtain lifesaving service dogs

Reunite retired military dogs who are left overseas with their former handlers

Support military families in need with healing therapy animals

Recognize and honor the life-saving contributions of military hero dogs

Provide healthcare to America’s four-legged warriors when they finish service to their country, so that they can enjoy the healthy, happy retirement they so richly deserve

With her help – and yours – American Humane is opening a second century of caring for our military heroes – at both ends of the leash.


The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man Charles Darwin

Thomas Ponce: On Behalf of All Living Beings

May 22, 2017— Thomas Ponce is a 16-year-old animal rights advocate and a citizen lobbyist from Casselberry, Florida. He is the founder of Lobby For Animals, the Coordinator for Fin Free FL, and founder of Harley’s Home, which is used as his school-based animal rights club. A vegetarian at age of 4, he began writing about animal rights at the age of 5. Soon after, Thomas’s parents realized that his advocacy for animals was not a phase, but a way of life. “I feel that it is our responsibility as both citizens and human beings to use our minds, hearts and voices to speak up against the injustices we see in the world,” explains Thomas. More in this in-depth interview with this teen activist. (321 reads)

Last night we were testing to see whether or not the DVD’s we bought worked. Kyle put in his movie choice, The Incredibles and nope…will have to return it as the disk skips. So the last one to test was August Rush. He originally wasn’t going to watch it with me because he thought of it as “my movie” and because Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in it. He’s felt that my interest in Jon has been “off-putting” which is fair. The first two times I went to the hospital, were precipitated or had something to do with my fascination with his potrayal of Alexander Grayson in the NBC show Dracula. Kyle has some residual PTSD from going through what we’ve been through, as I explained in a blog recently: https://saymber.com/2017/05/07/7-may-2017-caretakers-can-get-ptsd-too-poem-bird-drawings-from-this-morning-and-the-shamanic-view-of-mental-illness-jayson-gaddis/ .  Anyhew,  it is what it is and we can only move forward. Everything happens for a reason. The DVD disk worked and Kyle ended up watching the whole film with me. He enjoyed it – how could you not love a movie about music?!  Music, to quote August/Evan from the film, “we love it more than food.”

The opening scene from this movie is the closest I’ve seen to what it’s like when I am outside with or without my music. I connect with everything and it is like having wings – flying without having to leave the ground.

August Rush Opening




by Jackie Wygant 21 July 2011

Ancient and primitive as time and space

All things go round and round

Bend from the beginning and back into the same place

The travelers wear different skins and voices

Wear thin the grass on the mountain

As they make the same choices

Different colored eyes and skin rise, breathe and become dust

Their creations gleam and shine so briefly

For soon the torrents of the jet stream char the sky with rust

Back to back, shoulder to shoulder

In their separateness bound with twine

They watch as the future is on fire while the past still smolders

The lessons written in every tongue, most primitive stain

Too painful to remember the truth

They live the past again

Twisting and turning

Always to the beginning


21 May 2017 The Game and the Messenger (drawings)

Hello to you.  It’s 2:08 pm this overcast but lovely Sunday.  Just finished a pretty “heady” meditation outside and this is what came out of it.  I know some of this may not make sense or seem pretty far out, but that is the difference between the spirit world and the reality we all share.  When you spend time with the God of your understanding and just “shut yourself” up for a minute, it’s amazing what happens and the insights you might be shown.   One of the biggest challenges I have always had is talking too much – either inside or outside of myself.  Lately when I’ve been doing these drawings I will try to think too hard at first and then will come the voice, “just draw!”  Just like anything in this life that you want to do well, it takes practice.  The lead man doing our siding installation said he trained for 9 years to know how to do what he does.   I told Kyle this morning, it’s taking me 49 years to get this far and I still have much to learn!  You are never complete.  You are never finished.  You are never done.  This process of refinement is an eternal process because perfection does not exist.  There is perfection in imperfection because there is always room left to learn and grow beyond this moment of who we are.

I don’t know everything there is to know about this life and all it’s mysteries – each day is another day in Earth School!  (for my friend Castle).


21 May 2017 Dreams, Drawings , Dr. Strange revisited and Streams in the Desert message for today

Hello to you – it’s Sunday morning and we just had a nice bit of rain, lightning and thunder pass through….yay!  Clean canvas!

Link woke me up again this morning with his scratching and I yelled out loud, “God damn it!!!” really loud and went to the spare bedroom to try to go back to sleep.  When I got up this morning, I got to clean up Link’s “panic poop” he did trying to find me after I left the bedroom. I deserved that! It’s not Link’s fault he’s got bug bites that wake him up in the night!  Not God’s fault either!

ANYWAYS! I ended up dreaming about my mother-in-law Beth and her son Cole coming home to yet another house I didn’t recognize (this happens a lot when I dream about Beth and Cole) while Kyle and I were there. Kyle and I were upstairs and I could see her and Cole walk in the door, it was light out. She had bought candles.  One I remember had a Halloween theme to it and I said, “How did you know I needed to buy another candle?” (in real life I do lol!). There had been a child there with us before the came in, he had dark hair, that slipped out before they came home like a ghost.  I can’t remember his face and something about dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

Did some drawings yesterday and one of them seems to coincide with the Doomsday vault getting flooded in Svalbard Norway. I drew the picture and then when I got on my computer, saw the headline. A lot of what I’ve been experiencing, thinking about and drawing is coinciding with what we saw again in Dr. Strange as we started watching it last night. Just going with it.  I hope my sharing this with you can provide an insight into your own spiritual journey.  Every day is a chance to begin it, that is if you haven’t already!


Norway to boost Doomsday vault after entrance tunnel was breached

Credit: Ralph Lee Hopkins /National Geographic

By David Millward

20 May 2017 • 11:02pm

Defenses at Norway’s “Doomsday vault” where thousands of varieties of crop seeds are stored in case of natural disaster are to be reinforced.

The move follows water gushing into the tunnel entrance after the permafrost melted last year.

Although no seeds were damaged there is concern that the vault, which is buried deep inside a mountain near the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen, could be vulnerable.

In watching Dr. Strange again, I’ve noticed a couple of things that I also felt after the first time we saw it — the special effects overshadow the movie. The scenes with special effects are just too long and I would have liked to have seen more story and dialogue. I feel they should have let Ben “be British” because I could tell from watching him that it was awkward not to be – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Strange. Ben is an amazing British actor – he IS Sherlock Holmes to me like Christopher Reeves will always be my Superman, Chris Hemsworth Thor, Tom Hiddleston Loki, Heath Ledger The Joker and Jonathan Rhys Meyers Alexander Grayson (Dracula) – you get the idea. Sometimes the casting of an actor/actress to a role is like it was made just for them and other times it seems like watching someone wear very uncomfortable clothes and shoes….just doesn’t fit. I can see why they cast him for the part – he looks the part! Could have stepped right out of the comic book renditions of Dr. Strange. It’s important to remember that it’s more than a “look” that brings a character to life.

May 21

“I call to remembrance my song in the night.” (Psalm 77:6)

I have read somewhere of a little bird that will never sing the melody his master wishes while his cage is full of light. He learns a snatch of this, a bar of that, but never an entire song of its own until the cage is covered and the morning beams shut out.

A good many people never learn to sing until the darkling shadows fall. the fabled nightingale carols with his breast against a thorn. It was in the night that the song of the angels was heard. It was at midnight that the cry came, “Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.”

Indeed it is extremely doubtful if a soul can really know the love of God in its richness and its comforting, satisfying completeness until the skies are black and lowering.

Light comes out of darkness, morning out of the womb of the night.

James Creelman, in one of his letters, describes his trip through the Balkan States in search of Natalie, the exiled queen of Serbia.

“In that memorable journey,” he says, “I learned for the first time that the world’s supply of attar of roses comes from the Balkan Mountains. And the thing that interested me most,” he goes on, “is that the roses must be gathered in the darkest hours. The pickers start out at one o’clock and finish picking them at two.

“At first it seemed to me a relic of superstition; but I investigated the picturesque mystery, and learned that actual scientific tests had proven that fully forty percent of the fragrance of roses disappeared in the light of day.”

And in human life and human culture that is not a playful fanciful conceit; it is a real veritable fact. – Malcom J. McLeod.