14 April 2017 A loving presence before bed

Hello and good morning to you.  I hope this finds you well and good on this Friday…for my Catholic family it is Good Friday.  It always confused me how there was anything good about a man being betrayed and murdered on a cross by the very same people he was trying to save.  Kind of a mixed message there!  Kind of like the one’s I’ve been getting from every other facet of the world we live in these days.   It’s not for me to decide what is good or not for anyone but myself.  To me, murder and betrayal is not something to celebrate.  Some may say I am missing the point of the holiday.  It’s supposed to be a good thing that Jesus died on the cross for everyone’s sins but looking across history to include my own as a sinner….I think some have taken liberty with this sacrifice way too far.  Thinking they can get away with anything to include genocide of entire peoples and animal species and still be forgiven.   If they actually admitted and took responsibility for the things they’ve done that have wronged others and genuinely tried to make amends for them….and didn’t keep repeating the same mistakes even when they know better,  I wouldn’t have such a problem with this concept.

After I found out my country let loose the “mother of all bombs” yesterday over Afganistan I was very sad.  Like I told my neighbor when she said to me you can’t let the news get to you, “When someone does something like that to someone, they have done it to me too.  I take things like that personally.”

So I have been finding it hard to sing like I normally do lately.  Last night a song came to me to help me process my hurt:

Song that came to me before bed last night.

“I cried for you today

Because I was too sad

To Pray

What my eyes beheld

Left me

No more words to say.”


I was having trouble going to sleep.  So I talked to the God of my understanding out loud and one of the things I had to say was, “Where are you?!”  Well something very beautiful happened as I was drifting off shortly after.  I felt this fluctuation or shift in the energy in the room like someone who truly loved me walked into the room for a moment.  The feeling I get when Kyle comes home from being at work or whatever.  It just made me feel warm in my heart and so comforted.  I was able to actually get some sleep after that.  I don’t ever know specifically the source of these presences I sometimes sense, but this one was just the one I needed!

Last night on Rift (MMORPG I play) there was a lot of conversations about God in chat and how God can’t exist because there is no evidence.  What a couple of us said was simply this, “Look around you.”  Every time I sit under our little oak tree out back and watch the bee’s nuzzling around in dandelions, look at Link and Spot, see Kyle’s smile, hear children laughing,  or look at our roses – there is God for me.  You just have to look, God will become less subtle and there will be your evidence.  I understand the skeptics because my faith has been tested and I have questioned things so many times but the one thing I do that many skeptics do not is this, I ask the question, “God, where are you?!”  You just have to ask and the specific answer, made just for you will come.  You just have to let go of your expectations of something big, flashy and “in your face” will always be the answer.  The God of my understanding tends to answer my question in subtle tones.

If your interested, the Daily Good feature story for today – another book I’ve added to my wish list!


“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

–Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning


Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of others he treated later in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl’s theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos (“meaning”)-holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful. At the time of Frankl’s death in 1997, Man’s Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey for the Library of Congress that asked readers to name a “book that made a difference in your life” found Man’s Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America.




6 comments on “14 April 2017 A loving presence before bed

    • Always try to find love. Today is good and it is Friday. My little neighbor children reminded me about that on the walk a bit ago. They yelled to me, “Happy Good Friday Jackie!!” We have some of the most wonderful kids living in our neighborhood. They are a blessing!

  1. What a beautiful experience, Jackie. Ask and you shall receive! My husband frequently says the same, that there’s no evidence of God. I say there’s no evidence there isn’t God. We’ve agreed to disagree and live harmoniously with our different views. 😉 xoxoM

    • Yes, agree to disagree is a lot of what it takes for harmony and peace. Letting people be who and what they are as long as doing that doesn’t harm themselves or anyone else right?! Much love to you and your husband my friend.

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