7 April 2017 More than this (Roxy music song and my drawing for today) and Adult Bullying (http://www.mentalhealthsupport.co.uk/AdultBullying.html)

Hello to you, it’s Friday evening here as I start to write to you.  I can’t do much to change what is happening in my country or even stop it but the one thing I can do is mind how I think about what is happening and how I react to it.  It is like a reflex to lash back at the lashers and I must resist giving away my personal power like that.  Today I had been in Facebook and found myself venting after reading several negative posts and I went back and deleted them all because my being negative just isn’t helping a damn thing.  It’s kind the same thing going on with the town hall meetings that are getting rowdy to the point elected officials don’t even want to have them.  It’s counter-productive to stoop to lower levels on this…..take the higher ground….be the better person if at all possible.  There are ways to get your concerns across and heard without yelling and violence. From experience I know it can be really hard to reign yourself in once you’ve passed a certain point of being mad about something.  I think a lot of people have just reached “that” point!  Taking a deep breath or going for a walk before saying or doing something you’ll regret is really important to remember to do  when you are really pissed off.

7 April 2017 – We are more than just automatons and baby making factories.

So this evening I did this strange drawing and as I prepared to share it with you, the song from 80’s band Roxy Music, More Than This, came to mind.  As you can see this drawing is the top half of a female wired into a box with an on, off and pause switch….like an automaton that can manufacture babies.  The environment in her view is very uniformed and sterile and it’s piled on the bones of all the people who have lived and died before her.  All of those who have gone before that were bought and sold to the highest bidder.  Even as I write this are being sold to the highest bidders of every industry that needs us or what we are to make their wealth.  After the airstrikes in Syria oil and Raytheon missile stocks shot up dramatically…..just sickening!

http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/07/investing/syria-raytheon-tomahawk-missiles/index.html – Raytheon, the company that makes the Tomahawk missiles used in the air strikes on Syria by the United States, is rising in early stock trading Friday

https://www.thecable.ng/oil-price-jumps-56-us-missiles-hit-syria – Oil price jumps to $56 after US missiles hit Syria

We are more than this!  I have grown tired of trying to explain, reason with or attempt to “save” many people I know, many of them conservatives who think President Trump still deserves a go at it and is the best thing since sliced bread.  They say they never acted like we liberals are when President Obama was in charge and he was way worse in their opinion.  As I recall, President Obama didn’t order airstrikes on other countries without Congressional approval:  http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/04/07/syria-missile-strike-rand-paul-warren-say-trump-violated-constitution.html 

So arguing with people I love and care about hurts my heart, my spirit and is very destructive to my relationships.  Yesterday I actually got so cold with anger and anxiety I was shaking and couldn’t warm up…almost like being eaten up by an unseen force.  Not good!  So I am having to force myself to step aside and let the Trump train come on down the tracks.  Sadly, even with train lights in their eyes and the screaming of the whistle in their ears, I think they really believe he’s not going to run them over even though he essentially already has.

But like my friend Margarita says, ” We aren’t going to fall for it anymore!”  The old divide and conquer strategy — getting us to turn on each other instead of who and or what we are really mad at!   I love my family and friends way too much to allow hateful politics to strip them from me!  We have to be able to agree to disagree about things and still at the end of it remain family and friends – still love each other.

Together we stand, divided we fall!

 

7 April 2017 – Love – Kyle’s word choice for our chalkboard today.

So what is it that upsets me so much about our President?  I think it’s that I perceive President Trump as a bully and I don’t trust him.  Every day the headlines about his latest executive orders and decisions do little to dissuade my opinion of him.  I think it’s important to remember that when bullies are done with the easiest targets, they start picking new ones.   When he’s done targeting  immigrants and any “others” on his agenda, who will be his next targets?  I think that’s pretty obvious….whoever is left.  My prayer is that someone will be able to help him in time before he does anymore damage to himself, this country and the rest of the world.  Right  now it doesn’t seem like there is anyone.  Who will be his messenger?!  I’ll definitely continue praying about this!

http://www.mentalhealthsupport.co.uk/AdultBullying.html

Adult Bullying

It’s not just child’s play…

We read and hear so much nowadays about children being bullied, especially in schools and online. But what about grownups?

Those who are bullies in childhood often continue to be bullies as adults. The victims of adult bullying may find little or no sympathy from their co-workers, friends and family members. After all, we are big now; we should not let silly things like bullying bother us. Or should we?

What Is It?

In the simplest terms, bullying means one person, or group of persons, being deliberately cruel to another person or group, for any reason. Although childhood bullies are usually quite easy to spot, adult bullies can be sly, subtle, and difficult to expose. A life-long bully has had years of practice. Some have learned to be very cunning indeed. Some hide behind masks of authority, superior knowledge, money or other type of power. Some are good at finding plausible excuses to justify their cruelty. But all bullies have one thing in common: they want to hurt someone. Being the victim of a bully can be a devastating experience, and can affect every aspect of a person’s life long after the bully has moved on to another victim.

Why Does It Happen?

Much time and effort are spent trying to discover what motivates a person to bully others, especially in childhood, where this type of behaviour usually begins. On-the-spot amateur psychology, however, probably won’t spare you any hurt when a bully comes to call. Remember that, if you find yourself the victim of bullying, a bully’s bad behaviour is entirely his or her responsibility, not yours, no matter what the bully may tell you. Compassion has an important role in rooting out the causes of bullying, but in practical terms, it is unproductive to waste time trying to ‘mend’ a bully, or ‘understand’ how he or she came to enjoy such cruel behaviour, whilst you are being made a victim. When faced with a bully, your responsibility is to protect yourself from the emotional, social, or physical harm that the bully intends to cause.

How Do I Spot A Bully?

Frequently, bullying behaviour is obvious, even if the victim feels he or she can do nothing about it. Physical, verbal or sexual assaults are hard to mistake. But identifying someone as a bully is not always as easy as it sounds. The cruelty meted out by bullies can be subtle, insidious, and cloaked in the most plausible of disguises. If you know someone, perhaps even someone you love and respect, who usually leaves you feeling worse for having been in his or her company (even if you can’t put your finger on the exact reason), you may be the victim of bullying. It is well worth examining the situation closely to find out.

What Can I Do To Stop It?

When someone is bullying you, it is unlikely that there is anything you can say or do to make the bully feel like being nice to you. The best strategy is to change how you respond to the bullying behaviour. Bullying behaviour cannot continue to have its desired effect if the intended victim successfully stands up to the bully. Once you have identified a bully and know what to expect from him or her, you must choose not to be a victim, if you want the bullying to stop. Expose the bullying for what it is. Take a stand, and don’t back down…

But, How?

The anguish, fear, and dread a bully is trying to make his or her victim feel can get in the way of a successful defence for the victim. Bullies tend not to pick on those who can fend for themselves; a bully’s enjoyment depends on a victims’ inability (or unwillingness) to fight back. Most bullies are careful to do their bullying when no witnesses are about. Making a creditable complaint against a bully who is generally liked, admired, or respected for some position of authority, can be extremely difficult, and possibly hazardous, for the victim. If you are a bully’s victim, and you perceive, for whatever reason, that you cannot defend yourself, all is not lost.

Try These:

Tell someone you trust. Find a safe person and tell him or her what’s been happening to you. Name names and give details. Make your situation very clear. This may require a bit of courage, but you can find it.

Arrange for a witness to the bullying. For instance, if you know that the person who bullies you picks certain times or situations to victimise you, ask someone you trust to watch or listen when the bullying takes place. This works best if the witness is physically present for the event, and the bully is unaware of being watched or overheard. If, however, you must use any type of technology to record the bullying, find out first whether or not what you are doing is legally admissible. In some instances, CCTV footage may already be available. Do your homework and be prepared.

Confront the bully. You can do this yourself if you feel able; your trusted person or witness can do it on your behalf; you can hire a solicitor; you can go to the police or other authority. The important point here is to expose the bully and call him or her to account. Confrontation and exposure, with evidence to support a victim’s accusations, are what the bully tries hardest to avoid. Once exposure happens, the bullying is likely to stop.

Don’t Try These:

Getting into a fight. Avoid physical confrontation. Someone will get hurt. You might go to jail. It is likely that nothing will be resolved. If there is no immediate threat to life, don’t jeopardise it by brawling.

Returning the abuse. Becoming a bully yourself is an easy trap to fall into when you feel hurt and angry. Resist the temptation to lower yourself to the level of your abuser; be the stronger person.

Acting out in frustration. It’s the old story of the nasty boss, who humiliated the worker, who went home and shouted at the wife, who smacked the elder son, who punched the little sister, who pulled the dog’s tail, who ran down the path and bit the postman… Cruelty spreads like a contagious disease. It rapidly becomes epidemic. Wash your hands of it!

Suicide. It may stop you from enjoying anything else, ever again, but it won’t stop the bully from finding a new victim. If you are having thoughts about ending your own life, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY. Click here or here, and talk to someone about how you are feeling.

…Am I A Bully?

Do you recognize yourself as a bully? Most bullies have, in fact, been victims of bullying in the first place. Bad experiences from the past are not valid excuses for subsequent bad behaviour; nevertheless, such experiences are often the causes of bad behaviour. Understanding the cause of one’s own bullying behaviour is the beginning of change. If an honest personal assessment tells you that you need to adjust the way you treat others, now is the time to discover the joys of a cruelty-free life. Read everything you can find about the causes and consequences of bullying. Talk to someone about it. Ask your G.P. to help you obtain therapy, if necessary. You will be giving yourself and your children a real chance for happiness and future success.

Want To Know More?

For further information about bullying, click on the links in this article. You may also wish to explore the following academic studies, books, eBooks, online articles, podcasts, videos and websites cited in the list below:

Academic Study

Cowie, H., Jennifer, D., Neto, C., Angula, J. C., Pereira, B., Del Barrio, C., & Ananiadou, K. (2000). Comparing the nature of workplace bullying in two European countries: Portugal and the UK. Transcending boundaries: Integrating people, processes and systems, 128-33. Available on: http://ecampus.nmit.ac.nz/moodle/file.php/4599/Talent/Sheehan,%20Ramsay%20%20Patrick%20-%20Transcending_Boundaries,%202000.pdf#page=146 http://ecampus.nmit.ac.nz/moodle/file.php/4599/Talent/Sheehan,%20Ramsay%20%20Patrick%20-%20Transcending_Boundaries,%202000.pdf#page=146

Einarsen, S. (2013) The nature, causes and consequences of bullying at work: The Norwegian experience, 1- 14. Available on: Click here

 

Roxy Music – More Than This

More Than This

Roxy Music

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they’re blowing
As free as the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

More than this, there is nothing
More than this, tell me one thing
More than this, there is nothing

It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like dream in the night
Who can say where we’re going
No care in the world
Maybe I’m learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning

More than this, there is nothing
More than this, tell me one thing
More than this, there is nothing

Songwriters: BRYAN FERRY

© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

For non-commercial use only.

Data from: LyricFind

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=7265 –

Written by lead singer Bryan Ferry, this song is about a love affair that fell apart. Asked in 2014 by Entertainment Weekly why the song endures, Ferry replied, “For some reason, there’s something in the combination of the melody and the lyric that works for people.”

 

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5 comments on “7 April 2017 More than this (Roxy music song and my drawing for today) and Adult Bullying (http://www.mentalhealthsupport.co.uk/AdultBullying.html)

  1. your drawing should be on the title of the news… yes we are more than this… much more… I liked Bryan Ferry very much, he was super charismatic and different from the common 80’s musicians…

    • Thank you my friend – you are one of the few people out there who gets my drawings and or even tries. Thank you for that. Yes, Bryan Ferry has a beautiful voice and I loved listening to him growing up in the 80’s and to this day. Much love to you!

  2. The thing about the current occupant of the Oval Office, Jackie, is that he is a cheat, a liar, a manipulator, and has proven himself untrustworthy over and over again. His actions speak volumes. There’s no need to waste any energy on trusting him. We can use our energy more productively y continuing to stand in our own power. 😉 xoxoM

    • You are right and I am working on that for myself. Giving him and those around him who are perpetrating all this mess shouldn’t get any more of our personal power. We need to channel it to the who, what, where, when and why that is about making this world great for all of us, TOGETHER!

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