Good morning family. It’s a windy and cool Sunday morning as I write to you. I hope this finds you well wherever and whenever you are.
For the past couple of days I have been all twisted up in mind, body and spirit and the God of my understanding has seemed very quiet. Well last night I was on my way home from the grocery store and when I was uncertain which way to turn out of the shopping center parking lot, my inner voice chimed in clearly, “Go right.” I took the advice and as I got further down the road I found myself yelling, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I need you to deal with all this other stuff going on and you are silent but I am uncertain how to get home from buying fucking ice cream there you are?! I am so pissed at you right now!!”
Well after I got home we continued watching Vikings (History Channel) and the episode we watched was the one following the horrific death of Ragnar Lodbrok, the patriarch of the series up until this point. The scene that gave me chills was when the Norse God Odin visits Ragnar’s sons to tell them he’s dead.
Vikings – Odin Visits Ragnar’s Sons [Season 4B Official Scene] (4×16) [HD]
I found myself envious of these dramatized sons of Ragnar and thinking, “This is the relationship I want with my God but cannot have, it’s too much!” I often find myself wanting a tangible being to touch me on the shoulder, look me in the eyes and tell me everything is going to be ok in times of stress or warn me of things to come. Encounters like this don’t happen like they do on tv and in movies but they do happen in other more subtle ways. Someone or something has most always been sent to me. For examples Kyle will suddenly appear and give me a hug, a person will call, one of my dogs will give me a kiss or want to cuddle, a butterfly will land on my arm, large birds and or flocks of smaller ones will arrive….always something.
As seems to be human nature, sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. I have had to learn the hard way that these subtle sometimes ambiguous ways are all I can handle. Just before one of my last trips to the hospital I had done something that proved this lesson harshly to me. One day I had stood in my living room sobbing and literally begged for God and or my guardian spirit to “break the rules” and take form to talk to me, to tell me the truth of things. I ended up in the hospital shortly after that. I got my answer about asking for such things….a resounding NO! Like the phrase from the film A Few Good Men, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”
What the God of my understanding would have to say to me I probably wouldn’t be able to comprehend anyways…..how to comprehend the incomprehensible? There is a reason why there are humans and there is divinity….the unknown for those who have no God(s) or Goddesses. My little brain sack cannot hold the entire known Universe and all it’s mysteries; I can only process pieces at a time and that too is for a reason. It’s just when certain times come around that it’s hard to accept it!
Anyhew….after we finished watching the show, all the sudden it got really windy, there was lightning and rain……hmmmmm. Much love to you all today….stay warm and “keep your inside lights on.”
A little about the Norse God Odin, go to the link to read the entire article:
Wisdom, Magic, and Shamanism
One of the greatest differences between monotheistic theologies and polytheistic theologies is that, in the former, God is generally all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, etc. Polytheistic gods are none of these things; like any human, tree, or hawk, they are limited by their particularity. For Odin, any kind of limitation is something to be overcome by any means necessary, and his actions are carried out within the context of a relentless and ruthless quest for more wisdom, more knowledge, and more power, usually of a magical sort.
One of the most striking attributes of his appearance is his single, piercing eye. His other eye socket is empty – the eye it once held was sacrificed for wisdom.