Good morning family. It’s the day after “the Christmas” here as I write to you. How are you doing? When I got up this morning Kyle told me that 2016, what I’ve now dubbed the serial killer of famous icons, had taken singer George Michael! Just yesterday my mother-in-law Beth had been singing, pretty much the whole time she was working on Christmas dinner, “Last Christmas I gave you my heart the very next day you gave it away….”
On the dog walk Kyle and I did a verbal gratitude list the whole way and that helped.
Sometimes when the shit is hitting your fan in whatever varying of degrees it’s happening…you need to find that list and remind yourself that there are still good things about your life. I know it’s hard to do but the way we do it is just by saying, “What are you grateful for today?” The first answers between us are usually, “I’m grateful for you being here” and it blossoms from there. There has got to be ONE THING. Something like just having food to eat or a moment of clarity….something.
There are people in my life right now, and I won’t single them out, but if they read this, they will know I’m talking to them. These people are in the midst of a shit storm and it’s miserable. There doesn’t seem to be a clear path out of the swirling flurries of confusion, frustration, blame, regret, remorse, hatred, self-loathing and apathy….the desire to just say “fuck it all.”
I would say to you I’ve been there! I may not have been or currently be in the exact set of circumstances as you are in, but I’ve had my own share of being completely lost in the blinding flurries of an epic shit storm! I will tell you that eventually there is a clearing in it all and this clearing can take on many different forms. For me it has been the right person or animal, the right place, the right word, the right song, the right tv show, the right medication (ugh), just the sun breaking through the clouds for a moment like it’s looking specifically at me……there has always been a “something” that has presented itself to me…..my life preservers I call them. The God of my understanding and their agents have NEVER completely abandoned me even if at the time it felt like they may have.
There is always something if you have the consciousness to seek….to look….but it all begins by your asking. All you have to do is ask for help and do not place expectations on the answer. The problem with most people in crisis is they have been taught to place expectations on how the God of their understanding answers their prayers and this causes so much disappointment, resentment and heart-ache.
“God of my understanding I pray for my greatest, most loving good whatever that may be. Not as I would have it but as you would have it. Amen.”
So as we embark on 2017, that is my prayer for the entire world. I am imagining a most transformational, positive, awe-inspiring, loving year for us all. I don’t know what that will look like but I have faith it’s going to be amazing.