Good morning Family. I’m up (couldn’t stay asleep) and it’s 2:57 am here as I write to you. A lot on my mind! Last night we had quite a bit of excitement! The two of us haven’t really ventured out much since we moved here to North Texas. One of the things we really enjoyed when we came here was going to the http://www.srfestival.com/ (Scarborough Festival in Waxahachie TX) but we kind of got disenchanted about it because it seemed like you needed to have so much money to enjoy yourself. Every time we sat down to watch something, you felt like you had to have money for the performers which I felt should be paid by the Festival promoters! You paid for the tickets to get in to the main event and then everything you did while you were in the event was for “tips” which felt to me a lot like being in church! I felt like something wasn’t quite right about things, like your ticket should cover everything that happened while you were at the Festival entertainment wise.
Well last night we went to the opening night of Steampunk November, which we thought, and it was advertised on our tickets, was in Mansfield TX. When we plugged in the address on our tickets, the GPS said the event was actually in Venus which was confusing! Our GPS knew the address and we just had to trust it to get us there and it did. Kyle did a few deviations from the route because we really love Mansfield the town and he wanted to find a more direct way to get us there for future excursions! The GPS knew where we were despite the course corrections so that was good. This event location was quite “hidden” but such a beautiful location! We had a great view of the full moon and the stars last night in this place.
Since it was opening night, there were only a few of us and many of us, vendors and people like Kyle and I, were literally “virgins.” On our way in to get our tickets, there was even an Olive Oil truck! We had found out about this Festival when we went to the Pickle Festival in Mansfield earlier in the year. Some regulars from the Fair were dressed up in their best Steampunk regalia and handing out wrist-bands with information and both Kyle and I were so excited! We have just been learning about the Steampunk genre – the fusion of the new and the old to make the new! This is like an archetype of the relationship Kyle and I have! He’s 16 years my junior but we make it work and are so good for each other!
It was quite dark by the time we got our tickets and started to explore the place. We were welcomed by nearly every single vendor and I was just amazed and inspired by such a wealth of craftspeople and people who sell the crafts of others but with the sole intention of trying to help spread the word about these talented people! Such a man as Jack from Steam Chest (wwww.chestofsteam.com). It was an absolute honor for me to be able to talk to fellows who share my love of creation and just want to do it every day! It’s their passion and is what drives them to want to be here! It makes them feel alive and worthwhile….gives them purpose! All of this resonates with me so much because I am the same. Our only difference, and this is because of my circumstances, is I do my creating with no need to make a profit. Most people like I spoke to, their work is their “bread and butter.” They have to sell things to be able to afford to make more things….to pay for supplies and keep themselves and their families in food, clothing, shelter with electricity, phone service and most of all clean drinking water. The phrase “starving artist” applies here. Those who are “true” to the “heart” of their passion tend to not make a lot of money and can lead a life of “hand-t0-mouth.” This is a shame and it didn’t used to be this way!
I’ve shared may times here about the importance of putting love into everything you do — love is the most powerful “energy” we generate as human beings! Remember Harry Potter…..why did Harry Live? It was because he had the hand of his mother’s love upon him. I am a lot like Harry in that regard. I am touched with my Mother Jeanne’s love and the love of every single person who ever loved her also love me!
So back to last night……
The evening ended on kind of a low note. A couple of things happened and I am not blaming anyone for it. We had talked to so many amazing people and then we got to a couple of vendors who were selling things that are near and dear to my heart — wire wrap jewelry, crystals and art. The first “whammy” I’ll call it, kind of like Red Kryptonite for SuperGirl, was the wire wrap jewelry and crystals vendor. Her designs were of such a caliber! I was in complete awe at her talent but then the crystal table literally “cried out” to me and I went over there to a table of various quartz and other gemstone crystals fashioned into all matter of forms. I ran my hand over them to try and find who was “screaming” and it was like talking to a family….a dysfunctional, fragmented consciousness. I held some very “wounded” amethyst fragments and nearly cried holding them. I found a large quartz “wounded warrior” and I think that was the one screaming at me. I believe crystals, and I had to learn this from our Native Brothers and Sisters (Voices of our Ancestors book) that these Crystals are not just “rocks” but they are sentient fragments of Mother Earth. When we harvest these beings from the earth and buy, sell, trade and “shape” them, it’s not much different than what we have done in the name of Slavery. By the time I found the one in so much pain, I was in so much pain and disoriented that I had to leave the booth and I felt bad about that. The young man who was there with us seemed to be someone like me! I would have enjoyed talking to him in more depth but was unable. I saw him later and wanted to talk to him but just was too compromised. May be when we come back today, I will have another chance?
The final blow was when we went to a booth that had a Brothers Grimm type arrangement. I won’t go into all the particulars about our encounter but I did caution them to take care what spells you weave with words. When you think, write and speak “horror”…..you are manifesting dimensions of it. What we focus on expands and gains power and such is the way of both God and Demons. It’s one thing to draw and write out your inner traumas into a journal or draw a picture but quite another to then try and turn a profit by selling your nightmares. You are passing them on. I am not judging these two young men in any way because I understand them. I have been them with the exception of ever trying to profit from sharing my personal horrors.
The way that I work through my personal horrors and traumas is through a combination of things which included praying, meditating, naps, reading, writing, drawing, crafts, singing, dancing, running, a loving sexual partner, friendships, and the amazing support systems I developed through the years which included Clergy, Psychiatrists and Psychologists. My doctors are not just doctors, they are my family, they are my friends! You don’t have to have a piece of paper to be a “Doctor.” All my doctors want their patients to get well so they don’t “need” them anymore. Money is not the primary motivation for their calling! That is the oath they took! The Hippocratic oath (not to be confused with very similar word Hypocrisy).
When it is my time to go, whenever and wherever that may be, my papers detailing my journey will never be bought and sold. They will be available for anyone to read in the context of learning what I have been through and learning from my mistakes……be a better person for knowing I wasn’t perfect. This is a lesson my brothers and sisters at Alcoholics Anonymous taught me – we are here to share our experience, strength and Hope with others.
So I will close things up here! We are planning on going back to the Festival in the light so we can get a better view of the amazing people that I’m sure will be gathered there!