Hello to you! I hope you are doing well today…..if anything better? There is no way around negative emotions and experiences….only going “through” them.
Kyle and I have both been in what I want to say an “emotional/spiritual” rut for several days now…pretty much since the shooting in Florida. I’ve been (and Kyle has too) been wrestling with my inner demons who have wanted me to return to my old coping tools – food or lack of it, alcohol, sleeping too much, shopping and other things I used to do to try and quickly comfort myself in trying times. What I’ve figured out for myself is there are pains no earthly thing can touch. After we lost our beloved cocker spaniel Sam in 2011, we learned this lesson in the most visceral way. The only thing that even remotely seemed to help us feel better when we were hurting inside was walking. Sammy teaching us both in life and his death. Some of my fondest memories are of my walks with Sam.
So yesterday I realized it was time for Kyle and I to take a long therapeutic “walk and talk” like we used to after Sammy died. As we were preparing to leave, it was real cloudy and Kyle assured me I didn’t need my baseball cap….LIAR lol…the sky cleared and it got quite hot. He got sunburnt! I am already brown as I spend much more time outdoors than Kyle does, so I just got more brown…Grandma used to call me her “little brownie.” Kyle is an Irish video game nerd…his pale flesh doesn’t take too kindly to lots of sun! (As I read this out loud to him he said feebly, “I think I’m o.k. actually” and he does look more brown than red this morning lol).
Anyhew….found myself wishing I had brought water and my hat but we made it! Stopping at the new frozen yogurt place, “Spear-it” (our local teams are the Alvarado Indians) on the way home helped! We probably walked for 2 hours and that’s about what it took to feel remotely better from what we’ve been feeling. The magic number for our walks is usually 40 minutes, but yesterday it took longer.
https://www.facebook.com/spearityogurt/ – good stuff!
If you are wanting to literally climb out of your skin….GO FOR A WALK!!!! My therapist is “out of this world!” (MOMMA NATURE!)
Just a couple messages in writings and drawings. The drawing last night is almost War of the Worlds meets Blade Runner. I can’t think about Blade Runner without thinking of the actress Sean Young. I swear every female video game avatar I make is modeled after her Rachel! She is a kindred soul.
Voight-Kampff test for replicants
Blade Runner – Deckard Meets Rachel Pt 1
Blade Runner – Deckard Meets Rachel Pt 2 (Voight-Kampf Test)
Blade Runner – Final scene, “Tears in Rain” Monologue (HD) – very relevant to these “moments” we are living together
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000707/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm – Bio for Sean from IMDB
Mary Sean Young was born on November 20, 1959 in Louisville, Kentucky. She is the daughter of Lee Guthrie (née Mary Lee Kane), an Emmy-nominated producer, screenwriter, public relations executive, and journalist, and Donald Young, Jr., an Emmy award winning television news producer and journalist. She has Irish, English, and Swiss-German ancestry. She grew up with an older brother Donald Young III and a sister Cathleen Young in Cleveland, Ohio. She attended Cleveland Heights High School, and then transferred to and graduated from Interlochen Arts Academy. A trained dancer, she studied at the School of American Ballet in New York City, and did some modeling. Sean Young began a promising film career by acting in a Merchant-Ivory film Jane Austen in Manhattan (1980) for Academy Award nominated director James Ivory, She followed that up in the comedy hit film Stripes (1981) for Academy Award nominated producer-director Ivan Reitman. Soon, important directors were casting her in their films, such as Garry Marshall in Young Doctors in Love (1982), Academy Award nominee David Lynch in Dune (1984), and Academy Award nominee Ridley Scott in Blade Runner (1982) in what is her most respected film. 1987 was a big year for her, since she appeared in two big movies. Academy Award winner Oliver Stone cast her in the hit film Wall Street (1987) but she clashed openly with him and with co-star Charlie Sheen and her role was drastically cut. However, her other hit film No Way Out (1987), which involved a famous steamy scene in the backseat of a limousine with Kevin Costner, gave her star status. She was at the height of her fame, which led to her being cast as Vicky Vale in Batman (1989). She had an accident while she was training for the film. As a result, she lost the role to Kim Basinger for what turned out to be the biggest hit of 1989. Young’s loss didn’t stop there. In 1988, she made a flop film with James Woods titled The Boost (1988). Woods accused her of exotic harassment, including leaving a disfigured doll outside his home and leaving scary phone calls to his then-fiancée. Young denied an affair with him or of harassing him, since she was in a long relationship with actor/singer Robert Lujan, whom she had met on a TV mini-series in 1985. They settled out of court, but the bad publicity hurt her career very deeply while Woods remained unscathed. Hollywood producers now saw her as unstable and a loose cannon and stopped considering her for big movies. She was dropped from Dick Tracy (1990) in favor of Glenne Headly. The “Batman” franchise decided to make a sequel to the 1989 blockbuster with Batman Returns (1992), but the producers wouldn’t see Young for the role of Catwoman, She was outraged and went on national television, dressed up as Catwoman, and complained about how the producers should have had the courtesy to see her especially since she had been part of the original cast of the first Batman movie before her accident had her being replaced. This stunt, too, turned into a public relations mess, and the role of Catwoman went to Michelle Pfeiffer. Young put on a brave face and gamely moved on to do comedies Fatal Instinct (1993) for director Carl Reiner, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994), the latter’s box office success made Jim Carrey a star, who immediately landed the role of the Riddler in the Batman sequel. The film also raised Courteney Cox‘s profile, since she soon landed the hit TV show “Friends” which made her a household name. Sean thought the film’s success would benefit her as well, especially since Academy Award-nominated directors such as Gus Van Sant and Ismail Merchant cast her in their films. However, these films weren’t hits, and Hollywood kept giving her lackluster roles in mediocre films. Heartbroken, she married Lujan and moved to Arizona, where she had two sons, but they divorced in 2002. She suffered other losses as well, bearing the painful deaths of her father (in 1995) and her mother (in 2012). There were some bizarre incidents along the way: her heckling a winner at the Director’s Guild of America Award show in 2008, her arrest at the 2012 Academy Award after-party when she slapped a security guard. She went to rehab for her alcohol problem and also appeared on the reality show “Celebrity Rehab”. Since then, she has mellowed, because she had reconciled with her ex-husband and her children are now grown. She branched out to do stage work, including the Los Angeles production of “Stardust” and the Northport production of “Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike” for which she received a good review from the “New York Times.” In her 50s, she is keeping busy, by acting in several projects and trying to start a directing career.