14 Jan 2016 Good-bye to my Star Dad

I’m still processing the loss of David.  The past couple of days I’ve been listening to interviews he did through the years and listening to my CD collection of his music….honoring and celebrating his life, mourning…trying to come to terms.  He was so funny….many of his interviews have made me smile and laugh…the creepy thing though….it’s like listening to myself.  This morning it really hit me hard that this amazing man was in many ways a father to me and much of who I was and who I am now I can attribute to his influences.

My flesh and blood Dad is an amazing man who I love very much, but he and I don’t have many interests in common.  The one important thing we do have in common — Love…that’s a big one!  My Dad went through hell and a hand basket to make sure I always had food, clothing, shelter and Love.  I’ll never forget seeing him sitting by our little Christmas tree when we lived in a tiny house in Tea SD exasperated.  He was a single father trying to provide for his little girl and he was having such a hard time.  He was so thin I suspect he didn’t do a lot for himself so I would have what I needed.  He is a selfless man.  Thank you DAD!

Then there is David….we had so much in common it freaks me out as I reflect but in a good freak out.  I’m so grateful I was alive at the same time he was and am blessed with all the lessons and gifts he’s left behind for all of his children like me.  To me he’s like the “All-Father” to kids like us.  I think many “outsiders” and “freaks” like myself would say David was a beacon in the hell that is being “different,” the “other.”

He proved you could be yourself and truly make a life for yourself and leave an eternal legacy.

Anyhew….still processing this.  To me his death was like losing a family member….he’s been a part of my life for 30+ years!  Not quite as long as my own Daddy but close.  Another reason I think this hurts so bad….David was about the age of my Dad and that is a kick in my heart.   Some day I’m going to have to part with my Dad and the mere thought seriously fucks with my head and heart.  Those of you who have lost your parents know this kind of thing….it’s a fact of life….the punch line to the cruel joke of being a human being.  Being born already dying.  Ugh!  Thank God for nature, music, laughter, art, dancing…..Love.  The fine tethers that keep us all from going completely insane.

This is my drawing today of where I’m at today.  I’m sure I’m not alone.  My Love to you.

Good-bye for now my Star Dad.....

Good-bye for now my Star Dad…..

Link enjoying little corner to corner I made with extra yard..kind of Yin and Yang image isn't it?

Link enjoying little corner to corner I made with extra yard..kind of Yin and Yang image isn’t it?


3 comments on “14 Jan 2016 Good-bye to my Star Dad

  1. it’s sure a yin&yang :o) maybe a secret sign? I’m sad with you, there is something inside of me I’ve lost after he is gone. Even the memories I still have are a little pale now… :o(

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